HugoB

Is it the dating apps that make you feel down? or the idea of dating itself? if that person you have met anywhere, not online, would you still accept his invitation ? or is it the idea of dating someone you don't know very well, if that's the case, have you considered just meeting that person, there's no commitment or anything even if dating is something that you may consider later, and just be friends, talk, hangout, until you know for sure what you want ?

What I understand from what you say is that you are interested in dating but it's not something important for you, because if you were not interested in dating even a little bit I guess you wouldn't think about using dating apps or even writing this post or feeling down about it.

Because people are on dating apps for dating seems very logic as it is the goal of using those apps. There's nothing silly or ridiculous about looking for dating, it's natural to need a partner, nothing shameful about it even if it's frustrating and disappointing sometimes, it is only ridiculous when someone is desperate about it.

If you are not interested in dating, but only looking for friendship, then dating apps are not the right place for that. Because what's the point of having conversations with strangers that you know for sure that you are not interested in meeting them, or not having the same goal as them (dating).

There are other types of apps, and places, where you can go and meet new people who are not looking for dating.

On 1/7/2022 at 3:28 PM, Andrina said:

This is a game. With a person who is right for you, you don't have to play games. With a person who is right for you, the interest from both sides will be crystal clear. You asked her out twice after the first date and she NEVER suggested an alternate date. Her texting is not asking you out. The ball is in her court. And don't keep harping on her one ask after two rejections at the beginning. You are grasping for straws there that that meant serious interest.

The right relationship will progress and not regress. This has regressed. You are operating from a position of passivity and walking on eggshells. What would I do in your shoes? If you want to ignore the signs of her low interest and give it one last shot, the next time she texts, actually call her and say: How's it going? (She replies) I want to go see the new Spiderman movie Friday or Saturday. Would you like to go?

If she is busy and doesn't suggest an alternate date, I'd say: Okay. I'm really looking to date someone who's available a few times a week, and after two months of texting with you, I see this isn't going to happen, so I think it's best we stop texting.

Don't let people keep you on a line they never reel in. You're in charge of your life, and you need to be active in making it go the way you want it to. Cut the losers loose to free you for the woman who will be crazy about you, and there won't be any guessing involved.

Thank you so much @Andrina for your detailed answer, it helps a lot.

I have one concern, that I may gave her a bad impression of myself as we knew each others during a group project, and my work was not so good and in other subject I didn't perform very well, just average, but she is excellent in her studies, and I felt that she was a bit upset with my work, as well as sometimes I showed a little bit low confidence when I talk.

I changed now but I am so afraid that my personality may be the problem 😢 and that I ruined it by myself, because who wants to be with someone who is not so good at his work or studies or not so confident, in addition to all that I got fired from my job just a week before my date with her.

so I have a lot of questions in my mind like, what if I waited more and showed her a better version of myself, what if ....

I have been rejected 3 times in my life, and I had 2 relationships before, and I feel so tired and depressed, I am already 29 years old, not an adolescent, but still suffer from these things.

On 1/1/2022 at 6:44 PM, smackie9 said:

Be distant and aloof. See if she reacts. That is the best course of action. We desire most that is out of reach. Pouring heart out is a turn off so don’t do it. 

Thank you for your answer @smackie9

She reacted, she texted me when I stopped but didn't ask why I stopped, and a few days later I texted her too, and her replies were fast and long and asking questions, so and it was good, so I am more confused now if I should do the same again, or else.

I am too cautious to not look needy or desperate, so I didn't ask her out again,but still, texting me after I disappeared isn't a yes, she isn't giving any hint for a yes or a no.

I am also afraid if I give up, she may misunderstand it, while there may be a chance and I just didn't know how to handle it, let me know what you think, thank you.

(we are both in university, over 21 years old)

I like a girl but I always initiate the conversation, she always reply fast but she doesn't talk as much as I do, usually short replies or questions, but she was the one who asked me for a first date after she canceled twice when I asked her.

We are classmates from 3 months, but not close, I asked her for a second date, twice, and she finds excuses that I don't know if they're true, without setting another date, however she did the same before the first date and then she is the one who came and asked me.

she once refused my small gift to her then later apologized and asked me to give it to her.

she showed some interest, especially by asking me out, but also showed low interest by not texting me first, only 2 or 3 times, and with her short conversations (it's been more than 7 weeks like that) and by canceling dates,

it's like between yes and no.

I don't understand what should be my next move, to stop talking to her or tell her what I feel