So my ex and I dated for 3 years and split up a year ago. It was a long distance relationship and 70% of the time things were pretty amazing, we were very much soulmates. However that 30% was made up with irrational behaviour, sudden tantrums, forgetting dates and plans, being quite mentally absent sometimes and him not being very ambitious / motivated. When we started dating I had never met anyone who was so head over heels for me, I really felt he could have done literally anything for me, but two years in and over the pandemic things got a lot harder, and he was generally less enthusiastic. We never stopped loving each other but we both recognised love wasn’t enough to sustain the relationship, so we went our separate ways. But fast forward a year and now we are talking again and he found out he might have ADHD, and it looks like that’s where many of the issues in our relationship arouse upon him reflecting. However as good as things are speaking to him again, he still hasn’t been prescribed medication, so I am still quite hesitate that a lot of the same issues will arise, but I also now feel quite bad that things I got upset about are tied to his ADHD.
A part of me feels us being aware of the condition may change things if we decide to get back together, but is that enough? I feel like the better case scenario will be for him to get medication but I can’t really force him to. I don’t know if its selfish of me to not want to get back together without him adjusting to this information, but I will still like to support him because I am still very much in love with him, I just don’t know how to give that support. I don’t know if this is dramatic but I almost feel like couples have one good shot at a second chance and I almost don’t want to jump into it without making sure we have both grown enough.