Dee_a

I don’t think there has been a formal diagnosis, that’s why I’m very unsure. However based on a medical opinion, the psychiatrist did say it sounds like ADHD. And no he isn’t following up with any treatment.

So my ex and I dated for 3 years and split up a year ago. It was a long distance relationship and 70% of the time things were pretty amazing, we were very much soulmates. However that 30% was made up with irrational behaviour, sudden tantrums, forgetting dates and plans, being quite mentally absent sometimes and him not being very ambitious / motivated. When we started dating I had never met anyone who was so head over heels for me, I really felt he could have done literally anything for me, but two years in and over the pandemic things got a lot harder, and he was generally less enthusiastic. We never stopped loving each other but we both recognised love wasn’t enough to sustain the relationship, so we went our separate ways. But fast forward a year and now we are talking again and he found out he might have ADHD, and it looks like that’s where many of the issues in our relationship arouse upon him reflecting. However as good as things are speaking to him again, he still hasn’t been prescribed medication, so I am still quite hesitate that a lot of the same issues will arise, but I also now feel quite bad that things I got upset about are tied to his ADHD. A part of me feels us being aware of the condition may change things if we decide to get back together, but is that enough? I feel like the better case scenario will be for him to get medication but I can’t really force him to. I don’t know if its selfish of me to not want to get back together without him adjusting to this information, but I will still like to support him because I am still very much in love with him, I just don’t know how to give that support. I don’t know if this is dramatic but I almost feel like couples have one good shot at a second chance and I almost don’t want to jump into it without making sure we have both grown enough.

So my ex and I split up almost a year ago after a 3 year long distance relationship. Although it ended due to not seeing eye to eye on certain things and the distance, it was still a very beautiful relationship and I would like to say I have never formed an emotional connection like that, despite us being quite different people on paper. Fast forward to this summer I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months and we’ve been on maybe 8 dates but haven’t been intimate and initially I was really into it cause we seem to be a good match, but in between our dates I don’t feel a very deep connection when we are apart and speaking on the phone. A part of me feels maybe its too early for me to judge but when I compare it to my ex where we clicked almost instantaneously, I can’t help but feel maybe that’s just who he is. When I speak to him, I can’t help but feel like something is missing and I feel like I could be happier. I then recently reached out to my ex and we spoke for a few hours and immediately I got off the phone I was very very sad, because I was so happy to speak to him, it felt so normal and unforced. A part of me worries I may never love anyone like that again, but I don’t know if I’m being overly dramatic and should keep things going with this guy I’m seeing . However considering we have been talking for 3 months and been on 8 dates without stuff progressing much, I don’t really know what to do