ConfusedRomantic

No living children, no. And yeah that might be crappy on my parents but I was expected to take care of them as they are getting older so I do see their frustrations. Counseling definitely has to be in my future for sure.

First of all, thank you. My husband is only 3 years older than me while the ex boyfriend is the same age as me. The reason my boyfriend had pulled back and treated me badly is because he says he was worried the whole time. Everytime i went to the hospital they kept telling me about the odds of my survival. Doesn't excuse it but just wanted to clarify. He's never physically abused me. My husband did once years ago but never did again. The weed was always a worry of mine for sure. I do have a job but it is only helping out my parents at their business. I can no longer work a real job because of my health that os why my parents want me with my husband because he has offered me to stay home. But you're right, I should find a way on my own.

It was not an arranged marriage but my parents heavily reinforced I should be with him because of his ethnicity. I felt I loved him enough when we did get married. And yes, I know it doesn't make sense but the love is there. But I also know love doesn't pay bills. I do work but because of my health I no longer work full time and just help out my parents at their business. They've told me they can help me for as long as they can but I need to find a way to be financially taken care of which is why they want me with my husband. It was a stillbirth. I won't go into detail. I will not be having more children. What i mean by fostering children is literally being a foster parent. I do not mean adopting. Getting depression help is not a bad idea. But you seem to misinterpret what I said and get offensive at the end.

I'm still young (24) but I am so confused on what to do. I got married to my husband when I was 20. We lived a fine life where I realized my feelings for him weren't as genuine as I thought. We do not have a lot in common other than liking to go out together. It's not that I don't love him, I just don't love him the way I think spouses should love each other. He paid more attention to other things and left me to the side. One thing led to another and we separated around 2 years later. During the next two years I fell in love with someone. Someone who had so much in common with me except the desire to go out. I felt I could be myself around him. After about a year and a few months, unplanned but I got pregnant. We were ecstatic but I started noticing changes in my boyfriend. He stopped caring for me and treated me pretty bad. Our son was killed by a medical malpractice situation and our lives were ruined. After about half a year I realized I resented him. We broke up pretty much exactly at the 2 year mark of our relationship. He now realizes what he did wrong and regrets everything. I know I need some time to grieve properly. Our ways of grieving were way too different. I returned to my husband after this and my husband is super grateful to have me back in his life. My problem is I genuinely love my ex-boyfriend. He is the one that makes me feel the love I want for the rest of my life. But after we lost our son, he became unmotivated. I don't blame him, I lost everything. But he refused to go to work, turned to weed all the time. He became what my parents loathed. I feel friendly feelings and a different love towards my husband but he's got a future. I have no interest in physical intimacy with him. I'll tolerate it, but it's no real desire like I felt with my ex-bf. I'm at a loss. I don't know if I am supposed to be with my husband. I feel he deserves me back but I also feel he deserves better than me as I can't reciprocate his love completely. My parents tell me I can grow to be in love with him with time. They do not want me back with my ex-boyfriend. My husband offers financial security and the prospect of me fostering kids. My ex-bf offers me a true love. He said he would get a job and buy a house or do anything if I went back to him but I can't be sure of that. Any advice helps, thank you.