mochilove

10 hours ago, Jaunty said:

You need to only date guys who are not interested in looking at porn.

If a guy is used to it and likes / wants to look at it, he's going to.

Honestly he was wrong to agree with you to not look at porn when he knew he would still do it.

That's where he went wrong.  

In reality, he should not need to tailor his masturbation routines to your comfort / discomfort level.  He has not been withholding sex or having bad sex with you, so why should he need to worry about this?

I DO respect your wish to not have porn included in your life in any way, but you will need to be with a man who feels that way too  - not expecting to control a man who likes porn and habitually looks at it.

He told me before we began dating that he was against porn, and he brought it up. So I went into this thinking it was not an issue. I never want to control what a man does, it makes me feel bad, which is why I feel so betrayed by his lying. He opened up to me and said it is an addictive compulsion he wants to change, so I'm not sure if I should stay while he fixes addiction or if that is a lie and he will not actually stop.

15 hours ago, Batya33 said:

This sounds like a really intensely sex-focused/objectifying relationship -why is he not allowed to look at porn but you want him to look at nude photos of you during the day -does he demand that? Why do you "give him all of your body?" Are you doing that to prevent his straying/cheating? Do you enjoy knowing he is looking at your private parts in photos and do you enjoy giving him hand jobs daily and having sex that often -if you do -totally cool - but it sounds like you're jumping through hoops to "service" him so he'll remain faithful -why do you feel you need to do that?

I don't demand he looks at my pictures he just asked me for them for masturbation purposes and I gave them, but I guess they weren't used lol. And no, I also enjoy the sexual things we do, I never felt a need to service him, until now I found out about the porn. Now that this happened I feel like I do, but I know that's illogical. what is making it harder is this relationship is definitely not sex-focused, although it may seem that way from my post. We do truly love each other and get along well and were close platonic friends before dating so there is a good personal connection

2 minutes ago, reinventmyself said:

You didn't mention your ages.  

Even at best, you will spend a lifetime wandering if he is hiding it and an equal amount of time policing it.

Trust is earned and once broken difficult to regain.  I am going to assume you are young.  Easy for me to say, but I'd throw this one back.

Him lusting after other women has nothing to do with you.  He's likely young and his hormones are in overdrive.  From what you've shared you have a very active sex life.  There isn't much more you can do to satisfy him.  This isn't about you.

You might take a long look if there is any coincidence you may have attracted 2 sex addicts.

we are both 21. Yes, young and hormonal, I just definitely thought with the amount of sexual things we do that would fulfill but alas it didn't and this is his problem, thank you. Definitely possible I attracted 2 sex addicts

Hi, a boundary me and my bf decided before we entered relationship was no porn, as it makes me uncomfortable and is bad for mens brain anyways. My bf and I have a very active and good sex life, multiple times a day AND I give him handjobs everyday as well. (TMI, I know). but every night he goes and looks up naked girls on reddit and jerks off to them. He lied and said he didn't, then admitted he did, said it was "only once" then finally admitted he does it a lot. This broke me. I give him all of my body and he has a folder on his phone of my nudes, but instead of looking at them looks at other girls. I feel like I am unattractive and not good enough. And I am mostly upset that he lied and broke my trust. How can I know he isn't lying about other things too? I know a lot of people say "oh men have their needs and some watch porn to get it" which I understand, but the amount of sex we have I don't understand why he went and did that knowing it would hurt me. I want to dump him so he knows I am serious and I don't wanna signal that he can keep lying. but I do love him a lot and he is very sweet in other aspects so I am really torn right now. Why does he lust after other women while claiming to be in love with me? he cried begging me to forgive him but after dating a porn addict before him, I really do not wanna enter another situation like that as it traumatized me.