i'm in a similar situation. my boyfriend just found out that i'd recently spoken to someone that i told him i would no longer speak to (an old associate who was interested in me & who may still be). however, i didn't continue to hide it from him. he asked me and i told him the truth. he's still very upset, so to ensure that i'd completely cut ties with this other guy i let my bf know that i won't be contacting him anymore... and that i won't be tempted to reply or respond to his emails, calls, texts, instant messages. i've changed my cell number & email address, i've blocked the guy from my instant messenger. i've also given my bf access to my detailed cell phone bills when he needs reassuring. it was innocent on my part, but the fact still remains that i lied. so now that things are out, it'll take time to rebuilt his trust and i have to suffer through that because it was my fault.
so first of all, if you can't tell her about it, i don't think its worth it. if u can't just tell her what you know, then maybe the relationship isn't worth it. only you know her and your relationship. do some evaluating, if she's upfront with you and both of you come to a mutual agreement on how to fix the WHOLE situation, and you want to... then work it out. but ultimately its your choice. know that either road won't be easy. and if she's not upfront and willing to give you what you need to get through this, then let it go.
Trusting Someone After They Have Lied To You
in Trust and Relationships
Posted
i'm in a similar situation. my boyfriend just found out that i'd recently spoken to someone that i told him i would no longer speak to (an old associate who was interested in me & who may still be). however, i didn't continue to hide it from him. he asked me and i told him the truth. he's still very upset, so to ensure that i'd completely cut ties with this other guy i let my bf know that i won't be contacting him anymore... and that i won't be tempted to reply or respond to his emails, calls, texts, instant messages. i've changed my cell number & email address, i've blocked the guy from my instant messenger. i've also given my bf access to my detailed cell phone bills when he needs reassuring. it was innocent on my part, but the fact still remains that i lied. so now that things are out, it'll take time to rebuilt his trust and i have to suffer through that because it was my fault.
so first of all, if you can't tell her about it, i don't think its worth it. if u can't just tell her what you know, then maybe the relationship isn't worth it. only you know her and your relationship. do some evaluating, if she's upfront with you and both of you come to a mutual agreement on how to fix the WHOLE situation, and you want to... then work it out. but ultimately its your choice. know that either road won't be easy. and if she's not upfront and willing to give you what you need to get through this, then let it go.