adee07

@BecxyRex thank you for your reply! It's honestly nice to hear from someone in a similar boat as me right now. I am very much so like you regarding the quiet atmosphere. I'm a more introverted person and desperately need that quiet recharge time. I've had a few friends who had no siblings and are great people...I do think parenting has a large impact on if a child turns out "spoiled rotten" as they say. I wish you luck in your decision; the "what ifs" make it so hard for me!

@Seraphim I'd be lying if I said it hasn't crossed our minds in regards to developmental difficulties, more in the aspect of...sensitivities to things I guess? Such as obviously having texture issues with food and then really seeming to act out/become overwhelmed in busy/social situations. She tends to calm down a bit after she's used to being somewhere, but we've definitely wondered if there's something going on or if she's just not managed to process emotions yet. I appreciate your feedback! @DarkCh0c0 honestly your response made me take a breath for a minute. Sometimes I do feel so rushed like we need to make a decision NOW but you really drew my attention to the fact that maybe we need a little more time to "recover" from our wild child. Love her to death of course, but wow life has been a roller coaster. Thank you for your input! I really appreciate everyone's time and opinions. Definitely reading the responses and doing a lot of thinking ♡

Hi everyone, We've been toying with the idea of having a 2nd child for quite a while, however just can't seem to make a decision& it really stresses us out. Our daughter is 3 yrs old. I know toddlers are hard...but we REALLY struggled from day 1. She was born 6 weeks early. Luckily no major health deficits. She did have HORRIBLE reflux&was on meds for 9 months. She was never an easy, happy baby. It feels like she was always crying/screaming. She never took a pacifier so we just endured it. Being first time parents was of course difficult as we were not experienced. She is the most difficult of the grandkids in the family. Always causing a scene..people in our family joke that she "sets the bar" for attitude/bad behavior. I want to state that we really do try. We try to have patience/understanding. We hug/take breaths/try to talk things through. She's also always been a horrible eater. Would literally go days without eating one bite of dinner. She's still very picky, we just choose our battles more wisely these days. I know a lot of people say they're all picky eaters...but she was at the low of end the BMI chart and her doctor was starting to get concerned. Basically just trying to relay that we've definitely struggled with her. In fact, we're on our 3rd attempt at potty training right now too! On top of that, I developed health issues after pregnancy. Pretty bad gut issues so that I have to eat the same few meals or I'll pay miserably for it. I developed a condition where I was having spontaneous allergic reactions to nothing. That's been better controlled now as I stay on meds for it and I think my body settled down 1.5 yrs after the birth, but of course there's this worry now that "what if" something goes wrong with me. What if its even worse, etc. And am I getting too old soon? I never wanted to be having kids in my 30s. I'm almost 32. One thing I wonder about is if our perception of difficulty was heightened because when our daughter was only 5.5 months old, my father in law got very ill. It took 6 weeks to diagnose that he had a very rare brain cancer. It almost killed him. He was hospitalized for 4 months & lost who he was completely. This was obviously a VERY stressful situation &I'm sure just made everything feel that much worse for us at the time. When I think about NOT having a 2nd child...I feel sad. Always thought we'd have 2. I feel like a terrible parent to not at least try to give my child a sibling. I've told myself they may never get along, may have no relationship anyways etc. But what if they do? What if they'd be close like lots of people I know are with their siblings? What about family holidays or get togethers where she's the only kid on one side of the fam? I feel like I'm taking things from my daughter such as being an aunt (by blood) or there's always the topic of feeling bad if my husband and/or I end up in bad health and she's involved without the help of a sibling. Things like that just weigh on me SO heavily. I really didn't enjoy pregnancy. I was sick a lot & of course going through that labor/delivery...whew woman are strong. And money...having another kid is more money. Starting over with sleepless nights& constant feedings etc with having an already very wild toddler. I find myself asking "how do people do this??" all the time.... Ugh, even as I'm typing this my head is like a boomerang again! This is what my husband& I do every few weeks or so...throw out all these topics/reasons. But then also things like "oh this happened the other day and I thought how I'd love to have another one to enjoy that with" but then also "OH MY GOD I'M NEVER HAVING ANOTHER KID AFTER THE WAY SHE'S BEHAVED ALL DAY!" Please tell me we're not the only ones with this indecisiveness? We both struggle with some anxiety (definitely me being the worst one) and I think that complicates the matter even more. I apologize for the length of this post, but would truly appreciate any insight on how you or anyone you know made the final decision on this? Any advice on how to sort this out in our brains? lol Thank you to everyone for reading this!!