WalnutStreet

10 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

I don't see why this is a reason to contact the first girl. Their friendship is not your business. 

If you want to reach out to her, that's fine, but I wouldn't do it under the guise of being concerned that her best friend is sniffing around you. That won't land well and seems insincere. 

 

No no I see where you’re coming from and I know it looks like that. Of course, I miss the girl profusely, but the fact that she never texted me made me feel like she didn’t want to talk to me either.

Shes the type of person to post everything on social media, but from what I’ve seen and heard, she hasn’t really seen anyone or done anything social, and in the past she’s told me she’s terrified of losing friends and being alone.

As much as I miss her, this truly is concern on my end, yet I don’t know how to message her when it was ME who stopped talking to HER.

2 hours ago, rsml123 said:

is it just me but i'm getting so confused with these 22f and 23m designations.. can we just make up a name?  Mary for example is the one that you have been close and Jane is the one that took your place.

so let me know if i'm getting this right.  you are concerned that Mary is okay since Jane is getting close to you and Jane is no longer speaking to Mary.  And you are going to reach out to Mary to break the no contact rule you set up, correct?

If so, how about, just checking up on you.  let me or jane know.

another question, what do you mean you and Jane are getting close again?  You and Jane dated while you were fancying Mary?  that doesn't sound right, no?

I’m sorry that I didn’t make the names clear hahaha that’s my bad I’m not too good at this site.

Also to clarify: Jane is like a little sister to me and we had a falling out last year cuz of how she was treating Mary. Mary and Jane became very close again around the time I stopped talking to Mary, so as sad as I was to stop talking to her, I was glad to see she had someone who could fill that “favorite person” hole.

So I (23M) have not spoken to this girl (22F) since September 6th (unless you count her sending me a hbd text a month ago) after a saucy last semester of college and a summer of texting/Facetiming all day every day. I started no contact after I felt we were on different pages and it was affecting how we communicated negatively (she's scared ***less of commitment yet treated me like a bf leading to a lot of confusion).

I'm now at a point where I'm concerned about how she's doing bc her best friend (who took my spot as the main person she talks to) is now getting close with me again, and I'm starting to see she barely talks to/hangs out with 22F anymore. It's hard to be the one who started no contact and break it, but if there's a chance she wants to talk again, I'm gonna take it.

What do I say in the text?

(And I want to emphasize that I have thought long and well about texting her and I’m prepared for a negative/no response and I’m okay with that)

11 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

She's finishing college so hopefully weed and boys or keeping her immature mother in check aren't the only things on her mind. She may be worried about employment and finding a job if she doesn't have one, or moving away for better opportunities. 

My advice to you is to detach yourself and be less involved in her moods. You see that she's dealing with something so give her some space. Is she actually bipolar or are you exaggerating? 

So it’s her mother ironically that she has to keep in check. Her parents never married and her mom, love her, is extremely childish and a huge cigarette smoker, which could lead to her daughter also turning to smoking. To add on to what you mentioned, she’s said that if she does move, she doesn’t wanna move far from her parents. And she is clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so she is literally bipolar.

.

So this girl I was very close with for our last semester of college (exclusive/pretty much dating without labels due to her fear of commitment), and then we moved away from each other but still text and snap constantly. We discussed our future and decided that the end of college is a big event and we will revisit becoming romantic and maybe adding a label in the future.

Recently, she’s seemed more quiet and reserved and not being on her phone as often and just a huge mood change in general. I brought it to her attention multiple times and she told me she’s just not on her phone as often at the moment and that “she feels alone when she’s not texting me”.

It’s easy to say that she’s talking to other guys, but her friends tell me that they can’t see her doing that. I’ve been thinking of what it could be cuz this change in behavior is not normal. I know that she has a VERY immature mother who for a lack of better words, is a child that the girl has to keep in check. However, the girl also started a habit of smoking weed constantly throughout the day, maybe to cope with losing a great life in college. This, along with her literally being bipolar, I fear could be the reason for her being weird rn.
 

We just saw a concert a few days ago and it felt awesome to be with her. We went with her mom and her moms friends and it did feel like we were there “together”. She still seemed to avoid anything bluntly romantic, which I didn’t mind cuz I don’t wanna rush into anything romantic and ruin everything. However, the next day she was quiet over text again. 
 

In the recent past, she’s expressed that she really wants me to stay in her life (she lost a lot of friends over the span of the last year and I was there to make her feel wanted and loved as college ended), but this is just so strange.

Could it be weed and her going through a lot that’s affecting her behavior? I’m so lost and tired because I don’t know what this could be.