My in laws house (next door to ours and in the same yard) is very large. They have recently moved into the downstairs apartment, leaving the 3 floors above “community property” for guests to use when they visit. That immediately turned into my brother in law and his wife staying there very frequently, taking over more and more space each time. One example is we recently had guests and they couldn’t stay in the house because it was left with all the bedrooms cluttered up with their belongings and the sheets unwashed as if they live there. My SIL makes herself at home coming over to our house (not inside), taking pics of my landscaping for her social media, even coming onto the porch at times, just wandering around “walking her dog”. If I am outside, it invites conversation. One morning, I was leaving for work and she was standing next to my porch watching videos. If we go to the pool, she follows us.
I rarely have any warning that they are coming. It is just “oh and by the way” and suddenly the expectation is dinner with them every night. I stopped doing the dinners, but it makes it awkward, so now I just leave altogether.
My husband keeps saying he will talk to his brother. He is supposed to have a conversation with him while I am gone. I honestly don’t know what to do if he hasn’t. I just don’t think, given the stress I feel when they visit, that I can live that close to them.