SweetGirl28

u2! i like it

You silly girl!

Hey I hope you feel better soon, I see your post here. In time it gets easier.

You'll bounce back, and who knows, you might have contact again. Too early to tell.

The break up in July was hard, but I took it and did not contact you once.

 

After 4 months of no contact YOU decide to reel me in with sentimental words, intimacy and a promise of a new start just you and I. In two short days you change your mind. You said "I just thought I needed someone stronger."

 

The words that nearly broke me. Well, they didn't break me they made me even stronger. My resolve to Never Contact you, has never been stronger. I do have anxiety, but it has never, ever stopped me from doing anything, with you or without you.

 

So let me tell you how strong I am.

 

I am raising a 14 year old young man, all by myself and have been doing this his whole life. (I think I could stop there.) But...

 

I have already raised a wonderful 31 year old daughter with 2 children of her own and she holds 2 degrees.

 

I have 3 degrees of my own. I own two houses and manage everything about the rental property, by myself, for the last 17 years. I have an awesome job that I never work hard at, but I work smart and make great money.

 

I taught myself how to play the drums at 14 and have been in many bands for the last 38 years. I sing and have auditioned for America's Got Talent and The Voice (I did not make either, but I had the balls to do it!)

 

I'm not and have never been addicted to anything. I only drink to have fun and not drown out any part of my life.

 

I work out 6 days a week and at 53 I'm in the best shape of my life.

 

I'm not just strong I am the strongest.

 

Me

Pssttttt..... Wanna date? Lol

Omg Mitch you're the age of my ex! Anyway, I like what you wrote here. I'm raising a 14 year old girl alone.

I admire your strength, and not letting her words break you. The old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

is so true. Keep on doing you, you'll be okay.

Haha, Sweets never fails to put a smile on my face! ;P

Silly! Too bad you're sooooooo far away, I'd have you laughing every day, your cheeks

would hurt from smiling so much! I'd take you out, be your wing girl, shove you under

a chick to heal your broken heart(ya so it's a temporary fix, but hey, you'd be thanking meeeee) !!!!!

Would you believe I've introduced three couples, who all ended up marrying the person I set them up with?

Why I can't pick better for myself, I'll never understand, lmaooooooo :nightmare:

I will say this though: We don't see many stories of people saying "My ex came back to me", but I do see quite a lot of stories that say "My partner left me and went back to THEIR ex"....

 

So I guess it does happen*

 

Carus*

Good point! As someone who has taken an exe's back, it's been after both of us were with someone else.

Maybe that's the key? Date others , break up, and return for round two?

Sweetgirl28 yeah you're such a mom. But it's nice, we all need to be and accept who we are. I don't want to be fearful. I felt fear, "manipulation" as in using no contact to get an ex back (and I've worked on myself in these 30 days) had backfired. Then I realized I have no control over the situation. Going towards my ex wouldn't have worked either. (Admittedly I was fearful to do so and logically it hadn't worked for his ex , she called /contacted before ,during and after our relationship. So why would it work for me?) If they want to come back, they will. That's the bottom line.

That's just it---- if they want to, they will. Forget these strategies and wasting money on coaches and

psychics and casting love spells(sadly I know women who've tried, that's real desperation to trick your

mind into believing it will work).

I don't even like NC, but it does help for the dumpee to heal because being in contact gives false hope

and prolongs pain. When the dumper finally gets curious about it, and they reach out, they either secure you by throwing

breadcrumbs to have you as backup, or try to work it out. It would be great to hear more success stories,

wouldn't it? The friend zone sucks when you're the one dumped.

You didn't fail, at least you worked on yourself, so consider that a gain.

I told her we cant be friends and she started to cry so i dont know.

 

This is a road i have not traveled before but we have both been very honest an open about it with each other

Aww, you have a good heart. Most men run when a female cries.

Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out in a way that is acceptable for you.

So i actually met her today. We are not getting back together. We are just going to be friends but we both said never say never.

The friend zone.....are you okay with this?

I had to turn down my exes friendship(more like FWB). Back to NC.

Please protect your heart. You know what's best for you, but do you think enough time has passed?

I worry for you(ahh such a mom, lol, but most likely younger than you, but hey...whatever) :)

I'm in a bad place today. If anyone could help, that would be great. Its been maybe 23 days. The holidays may be getting to me as Christmas was special to us. He reached out around Thanksgiving and I did respond. At some point one of us has to say something if there's a chance of us being together right??

He reached out around Thanksgiving, and then not again?

Do yourself a favor and keep NC.

The holidays are not to be used as an excuse to contact an ex.

Ughhhh if only I had dipped my fingers in cement so as not to reply to you!

Here we are.....the sex hookup. I so badly want to, I'm not ignoring you, I'm making a decision.

I don't know what to say, do I tell you I want to but tell you I might not keep emotions out of it?

I knew we'd end up here. What do you want? I want to break my phone right now.

So you text me after almost three months of radio silence.

Our conversations are good, friendly, and meaningful.

We definitely bonded in our time together but still---- no mention of meeting up.

This is okay, to see you will set me back. Talking to you hurts a little, I'll never tell you this.

You throw it out there you're not seeing anyone, why? I can't ask you. You also throw it out there you're not having sex. Then you hint to our sexcapades which were all more adventurous than the last. Is this what you miss? The freedom, the lack of inhibition, the fact you loved to dominate sexually and I let you? What are you doing?

I don't want to know who you were with, but I know it was someone, and then it didn't work out. I feel it my gut. This kills me because damn I know better than to talk to you. It's your business what you've done and will do, but why did you

reappear? I won't ask you, ever. I won't say I miss you, I won't say I want to see you. I won't cave.

You won't either. I give advice and don't follow my own. Ugh you make it too hard.

The attraction was off the charts and you felt it too. What happened? Trust issues with you, you being jealous,

Why? I did nothing. You just couldn't trust me. I hate you for that. I hate your ex wife had an affair, I hate when you divorced her she moved in with him because she broke you to the very core of your being. You always said I was too sexy, too sexual, too much attention. You still indirectly throw this at me. Why? Tonight you said I probably have guys lined up. It's hard not to get defensive, that's why I ignore it. I will never be able to prove to you that I was and am a faithful person. I remind you of your ex, the one the guys want. That is so unfair to say to me. Why ? Ughhh I am going to try my hardest to not contact you, I don't know what you want. I just know my love for you is still there and the way we can pick up right where we left off scares me, because we aren't getting back together. Trying to date, still can't connect like that amazing instant attraction we had. I hate you for stirring that up in me that now I am not feeling that same way with

anyone. This is torture. I deserve to be trusted, you want me but don't trust me. There's nothing here then.

How did you get this hold on me? This was supposed to be fun, then feelings got involved.

Feelings that I hadn't had in years. Makes it so much harder. Scared to not find it again.

I miss lying on your chest, I miss opening my eyes and catching you looking at me with that sparkle.

I miss it all. You took away the immense anger and pain by contacting me, yet it's creeping back in .

Not the intense anger, but the pain.

I don't get how you loved my confidence but then say I use it to get attention. That isn't true.

You can handle confidence. I know you can. You should be proud to have eye candy, that's what you

seek out, yet you then get annoyed when guys look and approach. Why?

This is your own insecurity. I can't understand how anyone so successful, handsome, charming ,

affectionate, funny, sweet,and classy can have little confidence, because that's how I see you.

When's the next time? I don't wait for my phone to light up, but damn you make you smile when it does.

No, I can't do this. Yeah, you know I will though. I'm proud of myself for not saying how I feel about you.

I'll keep you guessing. But I have the feeling you know. I'm wise, you won't play me for sex or casual

relationship. Are we friends? I don't even know. I'm not holding out for hope, we are done.

Where this goes, I guess time will tell. Whether we talk or not, we live our lives, as we should.

I just wish I could find that same attraction again. Talking to you isn't the issue, I couldn't find it not

talking to you either. I never thought we'd end up this way when we met by chance. I ignored you! Lol

We met again, by chance, and the attraction began. I wish I could go back and ignore you again.

But then I would have missed out on so much. So many great times. You were patient and stuck it out with my ex stalking us, the harassment, the lies, the hot mess I became because I feared him. You'd drive around patiently trying to lose him on our trail. You'd find secluded places with no windows so we could actually enjoy a nice dinner without being watched. You were patient. Understanding. Compassionate. You were my strength, my rock. And always there. Oh, as I just wrote this, I get it now. My attachment to you justbecame crystal clear. Now I cry. Ugh..... Okay, this is why I will always love you.

Not sure if its getting back together but I did meet a girl from the net around 6 years ago. I had one date with her but it didn't get a second date as she just saw me as a friend. We spoke to each other every day by text and met up once a year. She was in a relationship with 3 other men. Each of hem lasted for 2 years. They were bad breakups but one night her best friend messaged me on FB. I got asked out. Took her 6 years and 3 other people to get back.

 

So the moral of the story is don't wait around. Sometimes people don't come back at all. However 6 years was far too long and I had moved on. Now I saw her as a friend and couldn't get past it! LOL

Yup, too long! Especially because you didn't have a history together.

I have my first love I can still go back to, except he lives all the way across the US and I'd have to move

my daughter there, and I don't want to uproot her right now. Plus he comes back to visit, and while he was my

first love and first everything, I'm not feeling in love anymore. On paper though, he's perfect. I honestly

can't say anything negative, he's successful and a real sweetheart. The only thing is that damn wandering

eye of his, lol.

The funny part is I was on YouTube and watched this dumb video about what age you'd meet your soulmate,

according to your zodiac sign. I LMAO because boom!! 16! The age I met him lol

I don't put much weight into things like that, but when I watched another video on guys age to meet

soulmate according to zodiac sign, it was 18... His age when we met.

I often wonder if he still lived here if we would have been together. He did want to marry me.

I honestly believe that attraction could rekindle, but long distance....nope. Not happening.

New update!!

 

So, I’ve expressed before how this site has helped me feel better about my breakup everytime I found myself becoming sad about it again. And a few months ago, around August I posted that I got back together with my ex who I was apart from for 3 months. And now, we live together, and he proposed! Now we’re getting married next year

Our relationship is so good now and he’s definitelty learnt from his mistakes and I’ve learnt from mine and we’re both working through them together and we’re so much better now as a couple than we ever were. We’re really excited about our future together and he said that he definitely knows he doesn’t want to be apart from me again after the breakup and realised that he lost me since I wouldn’t take him back at first. He did say that me doing NC from the beginning did help in making him realise that I’m moving on and he didn’t want me to not be in his life but now he’s even more caring and loving and he picked such an amazing and beautiful ring. I hope we last for a very long time this time around I’m quite happy with how things are going right now and will continue to keep working on myself!

A success story! Congrats!

I wish you both a lifetime full of happiness and beautiful memories

I’ve decided to finally add onto this thread after months of reading other people’s posts. Today, I was speaking to my brother and he goes “Guess whose back into my life???” N after I failed guessing he proceeded to tell me that his ex just called him n asked to meet two days ago. After meeting her, she confessed that she’s been thinking about things lately and she wants to start over and was wrong for dumping him. I was absolutely shocked because of two main reasons 1. She dumped him three years ago and she was so sure about her decision. He tried everything to win her back for about seven months but she wouldn’t reconsider. She would tell him to move on, to stop bugging her etc 2. She is also crazzzy proud. She would tell him when they were together that she’s NEVER gone back to an ex n when things were over, they were over.

He doesn’t feel anything for her now and is very shocked as well by her wanting to start over but is willing to try to start out as friends n then see if they’re going to work out. He isn’t really into it n neither I’m i to be honest since I saw first hand how cold she was towards him when she left. I hope this encourages someone today. I hope my ex does come back while I still care cause after speaking to my brother today, he would rather she just stayed gone cause he is so over that whole situation n doesn’t feel anything for her.

If he doesn't feel anything, why bother?

They haven't been friends in three years. Is there a point to trying to rekindle it now?

He already has the mindset not to want to, so he's wasting his time here.

Why she appeared--is it because she's lonely, not finding better , wanting to settle down now?

I'd question her true motive.

I had the saddest weekend since P. left me. I thought I'd be so cool and get back on dating sites, and I was so excited to get 2 dates set up! But Friday night's date cancelled at the last minute, and today's date was zero chemistry, and even though I thought sure, I'd go out with him again, he didn't seem interested.

 

All this left me feeling so sad, and missing the amazing chemistry you & I had. We could talk for hours about nothing. I also miss all your phone calls and little texts. I miss that today was a big football day, and I didn't have you here watching it. I miss just knowing you're there, and that we'll go grab dinner, or get a movie, or just talk about our days.

 

Today was the first day that I cried since our breakup. I actually started to cry at the gym, right before going into a plank, but the difficulty of the plank stopped me! So I was relieved! But tonight, with absolutely nothing to do, and a completely quiet house, I completely broke down and cried like a baby. I'm crying now as I type this.

Hugs to you! It's like I wrote this myself. The chemistry, the dating. Not connecting

with anyone else. I so understand this. It's what I miss too, the ease of the connection,

the instant spark, it's so rare, and difficult to find, but have faith!

Keep trying, when you least expect it, you will find a greater love.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

He's a jerk. Emotions are not toys.

Perhaps he just wanted to see if he still could get you back, because most likely

his ego was bruised by you not contacting him, and he wanted to see what you were up to.

Don't let him do it again. He may try. Be strong and practice self love.

My ex was playing games with me too, see me in public, be affectionate, then no calls nor texts.

They lose respect for you when they know they can have you back. Mine is now deleted.

It's been a week and a half no contact, and even if he tries, I won't reply. I'm done looking like the fool.