Emmy321

13 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

What are you going to do? 

I guess just stop messaging him and see what happens

42 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

It's okay Emmy, such on-line/digital connections are quite common.  I mean it's not like you're interacting and communicating with a robot. 

You're two human beings with feelings and emotions, sharing information about your lives and spending time together.

Difference is that time is being spent digitally versus in person. 

And tbh if you weren't seeking a relationship with him, live and in person versus digitally, I'd say continue interacting with him if it brings you joy and adds value to your life. 

But I got the sense you're not interested in digital, you want something live, in person. 

I'm not sure HE does based on what you wrote.  But that's only a guess. 

You do what you think is best and let chips fall where they may. 

If you get hurt, so be. 

We live, we love, we learn. 💛

no,  In reality it can't be just digital  thing and Yes I would like a in person thing. 

14 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

For a stranger that you havent even met? No, just no. Delete, block and move on with your life.

I get how it may sound to you but He doesn't feel like a stranger to me...we may have never met in person offincally but we have connected on facetime a few times. 

Thanks everyone for all you input!

36 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Never put more effort in than you are receiving. It's the best way to gauge someone's interest or lack of it. The last time you communicated something, the ball was then in his court, and if he doesn't initiate further contact, don't reach out to him. When he said he needed time to organize his life, you should've said: "Okay, when you're ready to meet, you can reach out to me and if I'm still single, we can talk about meeting. Until then, let's go no contact. Good luck in finding a job."

I guess I thought since he was still responding to me that it was ok and that if he didn't want to talk to me at all,  he would of just ignored me all together or blocked me.

16 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

From now on if you can't meet within a week or two I'd move on or reconnect about a week before you can meet.  Typing and talking to a stranger has nothing to do with dating.  If you want to "date online" then type and talk to strangers and you can flirt, etc but it's not dating and has nothing to do with a potential romantic relationship. If you started typing messages and video chatting in July that's almost 3 months ago -your vacation was only two weeks and you were back two months ago.

we were going to meet and would have met   but he said he needed time to focus on a  finding a new job<<<<this has stop us from meeting a MONTH ago...  He really took it hard..

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think you waited too long to meet in person so he either met someone and/or lost interest. If you two wanted to meet in person you would have by now.  I wouldn't give it another thought and simply move on and don't take it personally -you never met in person.

I suppose we did wait to long  but we couldn't do it before I left for vacation out of the country. He was  understanding about waiting. 

Since the beginning of July  I have been talking to someone I met online,  we messaged each other pretty frequently and video chatted a couple times.  I went on vacation the last  week of july and came back the beginning of Aug and I also stayed in touch  with  him during that time. We were finally going to plan to meet when i got back but  things seemed really diff with him, I talked to him so much that I could tell the difference.   I asked if somthing had happened and  he told me  he lost his  job and this part is kind of long story but  he said that  he needed to focus on finding another one and few other things going on in his life which I do know about. He asked for some time and I told him I would give him all the time he needs.  He always answers me when I reach out here and there but he never reaches out first anymore.   am I overthinking things or did he meet someone else. I don't want to  push him away but I can't be gving time ..if hes not even there anymore.  

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

That’s all I said about my goal of marriage and family. I had a profile that listed my interests and background and what I was looking for. I had no negatives at all in my profile except two. “No illegal drugs and no excessive drinking “. (Oh and no smoking ). I had all meaningful conversations on the first phone call (which was usually about 20 minutes ) and in person. I didn’t have time for chat buddies. I didn’t want new friends through a dating site.  I didn’t want to date for fun or to have fun.
 I was looking for a husband. Who wanted children more than anything like me. Who valued education and had a strong work ethic and professional ambitions and was financially independent.  Like me.  

There are many reasons to use a dating site or app.  Those were mine. I had no reason to apologize or play all coy for being on the hunt for a husband who I would love cherish and not be settling for. I got it all.  With tons of work and sweat and tears and aggravation and some fun and adventures and lots of joy. It was so very worth it. I mean yesterday our son met his second newest cousin who is 1. Son is 13. While my husband took our son into the ocean and they came out cold and laughing hysterically. I am so thankful I didn’t waste time dating “online “ or pretending I was up for fun or casual dating so that I was able just at the last minute really to have a chance to have a child with the best man for me. 

Thanks for your advice and it sounds like you have a wonderful family. I am happy for you!

17 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

I think it's safe to assume that he's not going to call you nor interested in you if it has been few months. I'm sure he would have asked for the number again if he had lost it. I don't think you should wait to call you any longer.

Oh, I meant It's been months since he's shown me that he is interested,  he asked for it last week and I only gave him my number just two days ago!  

58 minutes ago, LootieTootie said:

Hopefully you don't beat yourself up if he doesn't call you or text you. I get the impression you're anxious about this, so don't be. You're single so soak it in that someone you like got your number.

Not sure how much experience you have in dating, but this is the nature of the game. And you tell yourself when it doesn't pan out the way you hope, oh well, carry on or NEXT!

People are flakes, people change their minds and life sometimes get in the way, so as long as you take care of yourself by being kind to yourself, and don't let bad experiences define you - keep putting yourself out there because a lot of people find that attractive!

I am  was little anxious. It has been few months and wondered if he was going to ever ask me me out. He did take the first step and asked for the number but don't know if he'll use it. Thanks for your help!

42 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I needed one short sentence “I am looking for marriage and family. It’s fine if you are not and if so please just go on to the next profile “.  Something like that. Not sure why it would need to be any additional words. Marriage and family minded men knew exactly what I wanted because they wanted the same thing. 

Is that all you said?  You didn't put in more about yourself or did you save all that for conversations?

On 1/7/2023 at 7:07 PM, Batya33 said:

My profile was direct and simple -I wanted marriage and family in the not too distant future. 

Hi,  How did you write this on your profile so it wouldn't sound like a book? Online dating is a struggle with me too and  I never know what to write in the bio section, if guys even read it.  I didn't want to start a new thread on this subject since its already here. 

3 hours ago, Tinydance said:

What I was trying to say it's quite likely he asked for your number because he likes you.

No I understand, I just have to patient to see if he  actually uses it.  Thanks!

40 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

He doesn't need your number for work related reasons. He could just talk to you at work about work. He sees you there all the time lol 

lol.. That is  a very good point!

54 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Right. But why the “oh no?”  Why is this such a big deal

I don’t know, I guess I got my hopes up  that something was happening between him and I, when it could nothing or prob is.    Thanks everyone who responded to help!  

2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Unlikely. Unless you guys were talking specifically about business. If that's the case, then yeah, probably work related. But if you were just shooting the sht and he asked you for your number then he probably likes you.

Well, we weren’t shooting the sht come to think of it.   I brought up that he could reach me on work pager for work tho.  Then he asked for the number, I’m not sure.     Oh no! 

1 minute ago, smackie9 said:

To me those are some big social cues that he has interest. Whether or not he has the confidence to call you is another story. He's probably just as shy as you are, and that's why it's taken him months just to ask for your number. You were cold as ice, and he was waiting for you to give him signals that you too could be interested. He's probably be wondering the same thing...you are just being nice/friendly.

Girl if you want a guy to pursue you, ya need to put on a smile, give some charm, flirt, be in his space, etc. Then you will have them calling you.

I wouldn’t say I was cold.  I did smile  and said hi to him but I was shy about it. I’m not shy anymore now. 

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Unlikely. Unless you guys were talking specifically about business. If that's the case, then yeah, probably work related. But if you were just shooting the sht and he asked you for your number then he probably likes you.

well, come to think of it, We weren’t shooting the sht. I brought up that he could reach on my work pager for work and then that’s when he asked for number.  Oh no! 

1 hour ago, Sindy_0311 said:

I also had a misunderstanding with a coworker lately, about his interest towards me. I have been analyzing his signs again and again and it became like an obsession. In my case we had much more interactions and there were even more signs, this only to find out that he wasn't really interested. I have also been posting my issue on this forum and another one. this situation lasted 3 or 4 month (of overthinking etc... ) until someone explained to me what he was looking for and it became clear to me. So I think a guy can appreciate you, stare, smile, ask for your number etc... even if there is no real desire to ask you out or have a relationship with you. I suggest you assume he's not into you until he makes a real move on you. Or you assume that he likes you (why wouldn't he? you are amazing) but until he doesn't make things clear, you go on living your life and meeting other guys. The danger in these situations is to lose yourself in it and think about it non stop and maybe even ignore the good guys who are really interested in you and are boyfriend potential. I hope this helps... 

Thanks!   This is exactly what I’m  dealing with and I guess I’m over thinking a little bit. 

8 hours ago, Jaunty said:

Ok, sorry if I was harsh.  But we are strangers and can't see what you're seeing.  Of course we don't know if he's interested in you.  You will have to find out for yourself or just let things be.  

If he does not ask you out, and you don't ask him out either though - why does it matter whether you're right or wrong about him liking you?  It's like the old saying "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?"

It’s ok,  I guess I’ll have to wait. Thanks for your reply. 

14 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

You're making a big deal out of nothing, really.  If he's interested in you, he will probably make a move.  If he's not interested in you, he definitely won't.  If you don't mind putting yourself out there, you can make first move yourself, in case he's shy or something.  That seems unlikely, since he's evidently ogling you for extended periods while beaming brightly, and he did ask for your number without getting paralyzed  ... doesn't sound like he'd be too timid to ask you out if he wants to.

After all is said and done, if you "like" him but nothing ever happens, what does it matter if you were right or wrong?

Clearly it kind of matters to me  or I wouldn't be here. Now I am thinking I shouldn't posed at at all 

12 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

when someone asks for your number, it's pretty clear as to why.  When you comply to that request, it is also clear.  What's there to be misunderstood?

because he could of just wanted it for work related reasons which is why I questioned what he said after I gave it to him. 

21 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

I'm getting the following from your posts:

I work with 500 people and I find this one man attractive as he is attracted to me.  I gave him my numbers and I'm hoping that he will call me.

IMO, this is perfectly normal. Absolutely no need to beat around the bush.  Don't complicate things and don't think too much into it.

I did not say it was not normal, I also think you missed my point about the 500 people comment.   I understand it may not seem like a big deal to you but these situations can be misunderstood. I like him and I don't want  to of misconstrued it.  no one is complicating things, I simply just wanted someone else's opinion. That is all.  Have a great night. 

7 minutes ago, rsml123 said:

Doesn't matter does it now?  you'll find out soon enough.. why worry about something that happened already 🙂     People stare for various reasons but mostly they do it to admire.  If not to their taste, they look away. Be confident since one person finds you worthy of starring then I'm sure there'll be others who may think so as well.  If he doesn't call, so be it. 

well, It really isn't  just his stares. I mean I work with 500 other people, I look at them and they look at me and it's no big deal but with him it's different, it's like his whole face lights up,  I don't know how to explain it, I guess.  I do understand what your saying.  It matters because I don't want to be wrong.  Thanks for your reply!