mandeelove

If that's directed to me, it just kinda did. We met up before now season, had a couple drinks when her and her husband separated. After her divorce was final me she moved to fl, we started talking on a regular basis. The last week of duck season she asked if we could get together for the weekend sometime, when I got to the boat at the start of this hitch I shot her a couple dates and we decided on this weekend.

Wow whats meant to be will be even after many many years! Glad to read your story. Good luck

I wanted to say also i had a bad break up feb 2016. I used to read this looking for hope. So many months passed. We never got back together. Its been a year and i have a wayyy better life now !!!. Mentally i am stron and happy and calm. He made me nuts as i see that in hindsight. If i knew now what i knew then i would have never had contact for months after the breakup. I see my breakup as a blessing but it sucks sometimes we have to hold on and hurt ourselves. Do dumb things like chase them when in the end u come to realize they are nothing to chase. They dont deserve us. I was the dumpee and i now see if someone can hurt u so bad, they never really loved u. Dont cry or waste years of your life wanting them back. I wasted months thinking of this guy who ultimately neverrrr came back. I feel like i never lived in 2016. It was all a blur. My advice to others is move on day 1 of breakup. Mentally say they will never come back. You can do serious damage and waste your life in a dream.

"Hello,

 

I felt I really needed to post my story where it is now. I've just re-visited my first posts which were in the weeks after my break up and whilst it was still hard to read it has really given me the desire to share what happened to me since then. I hardly recognise me as the poster of those threads, and even reading them I felt like I was reading someone else's words, someone else's pain!

 

Quick backstory: read my thread for full details.

 

We were together in a very deep intense relationship for two years. I knew from the moment I met him that we were going to have this relationship and that it would be the one. We broke up in a messy way after rowing became out of control. Neither of us behaved in the right way and now I can see that the break up was definitely the right thing.

 

I spent the year after our break up still feeling the pain every single day. We worked together and struggled to stay away from each other - we tried on a few occasions to reconcile and it just got so emotionally difficult because neither of us had healed from the trauma of the break up and we were still those people. It was really the most difficult year of my life and I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said I remember (albeit hazy memories) walking home from work and sobbing the whole way uncontrollably on many occasions.

 

The thing is we are now back together and we are happier than the first time round!

 

After that first year of emotional turmoil something happened in me one day where I decided I was not going to live like this anymore. I was sick of doing nothing but thinking of him, talking to him, waiting for him. I took control. I made myself busy. I spent time with my friends properly and had an incredible summer with them. I learnt new things, directed a play with a friend (a life long dream) and genuinely worked in my happiness. I felt ready to let go and finally cut the ties. I moved out of the house we shared and started feeling amazing again. We work together so still seeing each other daily was a bit hard but I was determined to try and live my life. I realised that I knew I was in love with him and that was enough. He didn't need to love me right now, believe in me or do anything about it. I was ok with knowing we'd loved. We both started seeing other people, and whilst it didn't feel right at all times it was clear we were both having 'fun'. Whilst I still loved him and knew he felt the same I was ok with the relationship being done.

 

I don't know what happened but after that year and a few months and he by now had been with someone for a few months (my relationships were short term, fun dating etc) we got back together. We stayed friends throughout and often had lunch - both openly admitting feelings but being ok with them. He text one day and asked if I'd consider going for a drink. I did and I knew at that drink that this was the start again, the only difference this time is we were different people. We had both let go of the old relationship that caused us pain and we were ready to share our lives again.

 

That was a year ago and it's been absolutely incredible ever since. We've slowed things right down, we date, take trips and love each other madly. There's no pressure - no fights, nothing. Next week we're going on out first big holiday of the year, and I can't wait.

 

This man is my best friend and whilst that year was hard and seeing him with other people was devastating I honestly always knew we weren't done.

 

My advice to someone going through pain right now is to try as hard as you possibly can to rebuild yourself for yourself. You were a whole wonderful person before this relationship and you can be an even better one after with all the lessons you've learnt.

 

I had moved on and was living my life for me, this was the most attractive thing for my boyfriend. He wanted to be part of this re-ignited love I had for myself and for life.

 

It's only been one year, and we were apart longer than we have been back together but I am really hopeful and confident that we've both learnt so much about ourselves and each other we'll make it work.

 

I am sorry if you're hurting, it's really really and even though it doesn't feel like it you really will feel more yourself soon. Don't lose hope, always have hope but don't let that hope become the focus of your life. There's nothing more important than you.

I wanted to post an update - it's been two years since we got back together and our relationship is strong, healthy and incredibly happy. anyone hoping for a miracle cure, I'm sorry there isn't one but do follow the advise in the first post in this thread. Look after yourself and make yourself whole again.

 

Wishing you lots of luck"

I needed go read this at this moment. Thank you.

After 7 long months of the actual breakup he went nc about 35 days ago. I was nc too, then broke it about a few days ago. When he ignored my attempt I told myself I'll never try again and here I am starting from day 1 but I am stronger because 35 days already technically passed from last talking. If i had advice for people that just broke up id say go nc immediatley. I wish i did. The break up period was almost as long as my relationship and it cause worser resentment, stupid outburts. We wound up hating one another and be4 the breakup we didnt. So def mutually stay civil if u really love the person theres hope for a future. Still talking after a breakup kills it all and prob no hope for a future. Once u start dating others and telling ur ex it makes it sticky and thats what nc is used for . To stay silent...keep them guessing. And to heal. Goid luck

Day 1 of NC. Made 24 hrs. Very very hard !!! I blocked from all media, changed my phone number. No way of reaching me yet i miss him. Hope i make 30 days !!!!

Im on 3 months of NC but I miss my ex deeply and I was giving up on him. I felt 3 months was SO long but i read stories of nc for way longer before the ex calls. These stories really inspired me and my breakup wasnt even drama filled. So maybe theres a chance !

January 2nd was the last day i heard my ex voice. Nc since then. Some days are easy.some day grow hard and i get angry at him and myself . But theres progress in every day.

And just for the record i still love him. It seemed to get worse over time as far as the missing Him goes .

At what point do we still count nc or just start to live life again because im at 11 weeks..... and i think its safe to say its over . Have not seen or heard from the ex.

Im on 7 weeks no contact and miss him more thaninthe beginning. Is something wrong with that? Shouldnt nc get easier?