How to Restore Calm in a Friendship With an Argumentative Friend

My friend of 15 years is being antagonistic, argumentative and disconnected whenever we meet up. It's like he's constantly trying to pick an argument with me or somebody else in the group. It doesn't matter what I do, even if I agree with him he finds something else to criticize, something different that he can use to start a shouting match. And after it's all over, he leaves abruptly and forgets all about the things we used to plan to do together. I've been feeling very hurt and confused. Just when I think I know how to buy peace, he starts another fight. What should I do to restore the calm and rebuild our relationship?

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The first step toward repairing the relationship with your friend is to take a few moments to reflect on what has happened between the two of you. There could be a variety of reasons why your friend has been behaving the way he has been. It is possible that the change in his behavior may be coming from unresolved feelings or issues that had not previously been discussed. For example, maybe he feels neglected and is lashing out due to feeling unheard.

Start by reaching out to your friend with an open and understanding heart. Doing so will convey to him that you are willing to listen to what he has to say, potentially helping build and heal your relationship. To make this conversation successful, focus on being genuine, patient, and empathetic with your friend. Be sure to address any questions or discomfort that he may have in a non-confrontational manner, not only conveying love but also understanding.

Your friend needs to accept and respect boundaries. If conflict arises, address it quickly and calmly and then move forward. Respect for one another is essential for any friendship. Encourage your friend to express his feelings without belittling him. If needed, take a break from the other person and revisit the situation at a later time when both of you are more likely to be at ease. In any case, it is important to remain kind, patient and understanding.