One for the ladies

[manr]

i'm a shy person and I rarely ask ppl out or start the talking,

 

As of now I didnt mind but i'm trying to meet new ppl and branch out.

 

Question. When a guy is to shy and doesnt make a move does the women tihnk that the guy doesnt want anythiong to do with them?

 

I'm thinking yes. But ladies help me out on this one. What should a shy guy do?

[brokenpogostick]

I think that's all up to the individual lady you're talking about. I say it can go both ways. I'm not afraid to start talking to a guy, but if he doesn't talk to me back or says he's going to call & he doesn't, i don't pay any more attention to him.

 

You have to prove to the ladies that you are interested in them. Vice versa as well for the ladies dealing with the shy guys. Sometimes we have to do more work than usual.

 

I think I read somewhere though that most relationships that were started by the lady showing interest didn't last as long as those started by the man.

[passions1]

I tell my shy guy friends to show some form of body language to show that they are a bit interested in the girl, whether it be as simple as eye contact with smile. If you're in class try to sit close to her so that if there is a group project most likely you'll end up together.

 

But there are females who are out there that are attracted to shy guys as well, but not so many that I know of. Usually the females can indirectly show some body language that they are at least open to talking to you & take it from there. So reading body language is important & having self-confidence! Surprisingly some guys are too chicken to even talking to a girl b/c they are too sensitive to rejection & don't take it as simply just talking to someone new. Regardless of the outcome, but enjoying the process of getting to know someone new.

 

Consider going to more group gatherings with your friends which is a bigger chance of meetings more ladies of other friends. Good luck!

[rionmccloud]

I'm the same way, but my fix is through alcohol. I get a few beers in me and I don't care if I'm shot down. WHen I'm at bars and clubs, that is. I keep telling myself, it's only a dance. You could say, hey, it's only a date and if this girl says no there's another that will. This is one thing I've learned after my relationship and this weekend. My ex is very special, but I can find somebody else that makes me feel the same, and to find that out what's the harm in a date. I got a girl I'm going to call soon. Got her number this weekend. If it's a fake number, who cares. The next one could be real. Just my input on things. If you go with the drink though don't be totally smashed. Just a few to loosen you up a bit.

[AlwaysConfused]

I think it depends on the situation you were in and the connection between two people. If I'm with a shy guy and I feel a connection with him, I'd let him know. I wouldn't necessarily think that he doesn't like me if he isn't out going.

[koolaidnovel]

In answer to your question: yes. It's judgemental, but it's what people think. Suck it up and start a conversation. It's hard right before you do it, but think: no one's going to reject you for talking to them. I have the same problem sometimes. But then I realize that I'm not doing anything weird and I shouldn't be nervous about anything. Everyone is essentially the same in interest of conversation, etc. So just try it because it works.

 

Another tip: if you are truly interested in someone, like if you see a girl and you have questions about her or you find you have some similarities from afar, GO UP TO HER and TALK!!! I mean, it's fun meeting new people and finding stuff out about them that you'd never have known before. Just smiling at someone or saying something stupid to start a conversation will do SOMETHING. I promise. I'm also typically a socially cautious person, but lately I've been coming out of my shell. And it's really been working. For example, I went to a friend's party. I saw a girl I never saw before. I heard her accent and asked her if she was an exchange student. Things went off from there. See? Act interested. Talk and ask questions. You will be surprised how easy it is to meet people and form relationships. Good Luck!