skheehee

End of Day 35

Another day goes by. Not a day passes where I do not think of her. It ends there though. Just a vague image of who she was. It doesn't matter anymore. The kind of person she is right now is not the kind I want to waste another 3 years on.

I'll stay strong, as with all of you.

End of Day 34

Just another day. She's slowly fading away. The memories, they're becoming less clear now. It's like my mind is making a conscious effort to purge her out of my life, like a detox. Haha! So this is what it feels like to move on.

All the best to you people!

Hey, it's good to know that you'll stand your ground and take on this mission, soldier! When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And that's what we're doing. We're all in this together, mate. Heads up, for there are brighter days ahead!

End of Day 33

Just another day. I spent it lazing at home, and doing chores. Oh, and an intense home workout in the evening. I'm lookin' fine.

He's right, Micky. You may think that you know her, and that what your heart thinks is true. The thing is, you don't. If you really did, and her love was true, you would STILL be together. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement. Njoy is right. We have been down that path before, so we're speaking from experience. You've tried your best, and nothing good came out of it.

There is this saying, "You cant do anything to make her wanna come back, but you can do things to make her NOT wanna come back". This is why NC is crucial. I'm not saying its the best "strategy" to get your ex back, but the main focus here is not on her, but on YOU. Do not throw away a brighter future for someone who might not love you, anymore. Trust me. You will regret any rash decisions you make now based on your feelings/emotions. Us, your family, here on ENA, don't want to see you get hurt all over again. Stay strong with us. You'll pull through and come out a stronger, better person than you were before. We all do.

You've got a point here, Njoy. Life can come up with the most pleasant of surprises at times like this. A great opportunity to turn your life around falls in your lap, OUT OF NOWHERE, and what do you do? You have to take it! You have tried to work things out with your ex, and she's not budging. Well, maybe not anytime soon. MAYBE. Are you really going to risk a whole new, and quite possibly, better life ahead with this new job offer?

When I first found out that my ex got together with another guy while leading me on for slightly more than a month, I was devastated. I called, begged, pleaded, cried, even threatened to commit suicide. But she didn't budge. I told her I'd wait for her. And you know what I learnt from all this? It made me look like a total loser. It made me look like someone who had no self respect, no dignity, no self worth. It made me look like a WUSS, period.

I told myself that this is not how I want to be seen anymore. I don't want to waste my life waiting around for someone who clearly has me just as AN OPTION. Someone to fall back on? Possibly. Just a friend? Why would I want that. It's all or nothing for me. Sorry for digressing a little, but what I'm trying to put forth is that you should not put your life on hold for someone who CLEARLY does not want you at the moment, or possibly, anymore. Life is full of endless possibilities and opportunities. Take them. Don't let her get to you.

End of Day 32

I'm still going strong. I've had my off days, but I'm not letting her bring me down to my knees. When we were together, she played mind games with me. Now, I'm playing those games with myself.

I will fight my way through this, and be a better person. SO SHALL YOU. We are better than what our exes perceive us to be. Prove not to them, but to OURSELVES, that we can rise above such adversities and be the best we can be.

Amen to that, Njoy. Love exists in all forms, from so many sources.

End of Day 31

Sometimes I wonder why this thread is in the "Get back together" section of this forum. I mean, yeah, sometimes NC does make your ex come back, but the success stories are few and far between. I have all but given up hope on her, as she's in bed with her new guy right now as I'm typing this out. 3 years together, up in smoke and ashes just like that. As though I never existed.

Its ok. All will be well. I'll be alright. ALL OF YOU will be alright. We will come out of this together, stronger people than we were.

End of Day 30

A month has passed. I know that she's having a blast with the new guy, but I know myself even better. I don't need someone else to be happy. I can be happy by MYSELF. Here's to brighter days ahead!

I'm going to be relieved when it passes, though, I admit.

You'll be fine. We'll be fine. Everything will turn out to be alright. It always does.

Yes... yes it is.

 

My ex's birthday is in about two weeks, too. But NC is NC. Just keep on focusing on yourself.

Yes! And no matter what, stick to your guns and let that day roll by, just like any other!

End of Day 29

Today, after feeling like crap for the most part, I picked myself up again and started venting my anger and frustrations on my abs and the weights. Boy, do I look stunning now! I am, by far, a much better catch than the guy my ex is canoodling up with in bed right now. It's her loss, and another far, more deserving person's gain.

If there's a chance of reconciliation, I think she'll understand that you need to focus on healing right now, and not her. Don't contact her on her birthday this year.

 

Of course you think about her! I think about my ex all the time, too. He's pretty much all I think about, even when I'm at work or the gym or in social situations. Just because we're thinking about them doesn't mean NC isn't a good idea.

This is the tricky part. How do we know there is a chance, even the slightest of chances, of reconciliation? When we're talking about reconciliation, I'm assuming getting back together officially as a couple, and not "just friends".

And yeah, NC is for healing. It is by no means a surefire way of getting your ex back, but what would you rather do now is get yourself together first. Contacting them will only push them away, reminding them of why you broke up in the first place, pressuring them, letting them know that you'll always be on the sidelines, waiting for them no matter what etc. Its even worse when theyre dating or already in a "serious relationship" with someone new. Your self-worth is most important now. Don't let them take that away from you.

Come to think of it, a birthday is just another day. No biggie.

Also fellow sufferers...what are the rules regarding messaging them on their birthday? Her's is in 2 weeks. I feel like I should send a simple and basic text with no 'i love you' or 'i miss you'. It's just not an option not to text her.

 

Do you think her upcoming birthday will make her miss me more? Or less? SEE - I'M CRAZY.

I'd say when in doubt, do nothing. My ex was already 2 weeks into a new relationship (rebound or not, who cares?) and she didn't even bother to wish me on my birthday. Personally, I would just ignore and carry on with your daily duties. Oh, and don't be too sure about her not accepting any dates. My ex told me should would never love anyone, never have sex with anyone else, would always love me etc. all the BS she could conjure. And what happened in the end? I'll let you fill in the blanks buddy.

That's tough. The peace will come and you're a day closer to it. You're doing a great job - for a lot of us this has been, and will be, the hardest thing that we'll ever endure. But endure we will, like Jonah in that whale, and when we're ready life's gonna spit us up in the place we need to be.

 

PLease keep the faith honey. Sending you hugs and strength of spirit x

Thank you, Chinafish. I woke up in tears again today, and I realize that I still have so much work to do on myself. I am still picking up the pieces of my broken heart. Piecing them back together... Now that is a whole different story. I see no quick fix to this heartbreak, this pain and suffering. I hope that in time, I will learn to accept the relationship that I had for what it was. That is was never meant to last.

End of Day 28

I don't understand. The feelings of hurt seem to be flooding back into my heart again. My eyes have been like burst dams, pouring out every teardrop like there's no tomorrow. My head says that it will get better in time, but my heart thinks otherwise. I hope I find peace in my heart.

Also I found out my ex had been giving lifts to a mutual male friend who doesn't drive.

I'm pissed that she didn't tell me. What else didn't she tell me?

Dude, she's your ex. She's not obligated to tell you anything anymore. Heck, our exes won't even tell us the truth in the first place. We are like game to them.

End of Day 27

Today was just another day. I've been keeping myself busy. Working out at the fitness corner, buying some groceries, helping mum with making dinner! Oh, I've been reading ahead of the semester that's gonna start soon. Better to start early if I wanna graduate summa cum laude! The best thing is, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO DISTRACTION!

Day... Umm 6 days until it's 2 months...

Had a dream about her and her new bf, really weird one but whatever...

Trying to keep myself busy, even though it still hurts and i keep thinking about it, i shouldn't cause i'm the last thing on her mind so why should i bother...

 

I'm glad that my family deleted her from facebook and are disgusted by her, that helps me, alot of people around me still don't understand why she dumped me like that while i did everything for her and i was everything for her...

Running off to a complete douchebag...

 

One day my ex... One day and you will get it all back x10...

 

Ah well, life sucks sometimes but it will get better.

Ooooh... I like the vindictive side of this whole thing. They will get it. Probably later than sooner (especially for them immature/stubborn ones, cause they'll want to prove their doubters wrong). When they finally do, we're not gonna be around to catch them when they fall. Who was there when we were kicked to the curb and left to bite the dust? They weren't! So to hell with the ex!

End of Day 26

Today has been a total roller coaster ride. For starters, I woke up from my sleep in the middle of the night, crying. The dream I had was of me and her, so vivid and so real, of us reliving the good old times. My day started off from that downcast note from then on. I had so many moments where I sat idle and tears just trickled down my face. It still hurts. A lot. What hurts the most is the very thought of her being happy with her new guy.

I thought I was strong and doing well. I guess I'm far from achieving that state at the moment. I'm only human after all.

It will be my turn soon, Blondie. 30 days will be a milestone achieved, and I plan to go another 30 days after. And then another, and then another... Until the day comes when I have finally let go of the past and embrace the future.

I wish you all the happiness in the world, my friend. If all of us here on the boards were to live nearby, it would be great to meet up over dinner or drinks and just talk about how we overcame the odds and emerge with our heads held high.

Thanks, I know it helps with the healing. But what if this works both ways and he also stops needing me? I want him to see me while his feelings are still fresh, not when he's used to living without me already.

There is a reason for the break up. Either of you has issues that you need to rectify and if you rush back into anything, it would only be temporary as the issues would not have been resolved and things WILL get worse. Believe me, my friend. I've been down that road before. The break up is actually a good thing for ALL of us, as we can take a few steps back and look at the relationship that we had for what it really WAS. See, the keyword is in past tense, as the relationship you thought you had is OVER.

The only way out of this is to look at yourself and ask, "Do I have issues that need to be resolved? Is there any way that I can change for the better? Does he/she have his/her own set issues that need to be tackled? Do I really need someone else to be happy, or can I find happiness from within? Was the relationship going anywhere? Was it toxic/damaging/detrimental to my development as a person?"

These are really important questions that only you can answer, and only you would be able to find ways to go about doing so. It will take time. The point is, don't rush things. It is in being so hasty that most of us are where we are right now, because we made mistakes. Take as long as you can to sort out these issues if they can be resolved. You will be a better person. You will be stronger. You will rise again.

End of Day 25

Had a bout of flu but met up with my mates to play soccer. Had a match and we trashed the other team 6-1. I sprained my ankle though. Urgh.

I'm beginning to realize that there are other things in life that make me happy. I don't need a SOMEONE to do so. Happiness is from within. And I was already happy before I met you, dearest ex-girlfriend.

It will take some time before I reach the stage where I do not care about her anymore. When that day comes though, I'm sure to savour every moment of my life after that. And I only have one person to thank for that. And that person, is ME.

End of Day 23 and 24

A few friends of mine told me that the ex has been posting in her Facebook stuff that the new guy does that pleases her e.g. Polishing her shoes, cooking for her in the middle of the night. Well, I was curious and broke my "Facebook fast", and tried to check up on her. Lo and behold, she has prevented me from seeing her updates and status on the social networking site. Oh well. It's not that I care. Just curious.