j.love

I know that this is the Getting Back Together section, but I was wondering if anyone is doing NC to help the move on from their relationship. NOT to get their ex back.

I personally decided on NC because it seemed like the best way to stop myself from contacting him.

So is anyone the same as me?

In response to his facebook status:

"is memory a gift or curse?"

I hope its a curse for you. I hope you look back at what you've done to me with SHAME and regret. You * * * * * * *

I know how you feel I was like that for the first few weeks (i'm on week 7 of NC). I think you really should join the gym and stay there for a while with a workout buddy! It helps you fall asleep because you're so tired after the workout.

 

The first couple of weeks after my break up I kept waking up at impossibly early times, and was unable to study for my finals... but things have gotten better. I'm sure things will get better for you too

 

Me too hater, i couldn't study for finals at all and I was only physically present at graduation

woke up this morning and my first thought was not him...yay!!!!...i love the small victories

Igelchen I don't wish you were dead. You are my break up soulmate lol.

I'm serious everything you post reflects exactly how I feel. We broke up after six months, he initiated without any warning, the week before finals and college graduations. That was the worst week and a half, that I could remember.

Now I am home wondering how he is doing, going on with his life as if nothing ever happened between us.

I know you will get through this, if you feel this way about the wrong girl, thing about how AMAZING its going to feel to love the right girl.

Be strong my friend and message me anytime you need someone to talk too.

I don't know why they think they can just chuck us away and forget we're people, not disposable tissues

i totally agree

Day

emotional low of the day: i havent gotten my period yet (not late) but wishing i was pregnant with his baby just to have him back

i know.....

I will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad fro myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i will not feel bad for myself

i have this hope you will come back, i have the scenario all thought of in head and i can't let it go. I don't know if its from God or just me holding onto the hope of you coming back, because I want you back so bad. What we had was special and you don't get that chance to love like that all the time in your life. so i'm hoping that you realize, hopefully sooner rather than later. but on the same note i'm not gonna wait for you, cause you may never come back and i WILL not spend my life waiting for you to wise up. but please do.

I'm not where you are Igelchen, but I definitely understand the "not feeling normal" I don't feel like myself. I keep making myself do things that I would normally enjoy, but all I want to do is stay in bed.

Don't feel ashamed about how you handled the break up. Think of it this way, you felt strongly about another human being. If you're like this with the wrong person imagine how good it will be when the right girl comes along.

Be well

Day 4

Another bad day. Tomorrow would have been 7 months. I just want to curl up in bed and forget the world

I miss you. I think this situation is complete bull * * * * . I know you love your family and that’s one of the many things that I love about you, but I hate your choice. I love you and you love me and that should triumph over everything. I would fight for you and I would stand up to anyone who didn’t support our relationship.

You’re really missing out on a great thing here, but if you would rather please your parents then yourself, fine.

I just wish our relationship meant more to you, that I meant more to you.

I love you, but I need to let you go. I don’t know what the truth is, everything you told could have been lies and now I don’t know. I don’t know if I was being played or used for your own advantage. I just don’t know and that’s was hurts the most, not knowing. Not knowing if I gave my heart to someone who actually cared or not. I have never given so much in a relationship before and to have you throw it all away hurts me to my core.

I am mad at myself for giving you so much power over me and giving so much of myself to you. I lost myself in you and our relationship. I defined myself through you and our relationship. So that now I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be so happy and full of life, and now I don’t even know where that girl has gone and if she’ll ever come back.

I thought you were the one. I had never felt this way about a guy before. I so want you to come back to me, but I know you won’t. I pray to God to lift this pain from me. I wish things could have been so different. I really hope that I can let you go, and move on from this. I know I will love again, but it’s going to take time for me to trust someone and let them in. I won’t let people in easily; they are going to have to work for my time and my love. I gave too much, to someone who wasn’t worth it, never again.

Day 3:

I feel terrible. I don't even know how to properly function anymore. I'm just coasting going through life on auto-pilot. I used to be such a happy person, I just want to know when will I be happy again. I miss who I used to be, I wanna find me again. I hate that he's done this to me.

exchange, women think about it too, i think of the way he used to hold me and how good it would feel to be in arms, and to hold hands and cuddle.........we all suffer the memories

well breakingheart i'm currently a dumpee, so ill try to give you her perspective. i'm not saying what she's doing is wrong or right, just trying to give you insight. even though she was acting wrong, she was still blindsided by the break-up. unless you told her what your problems and issues were and she did nothing to change her behavior.

if she was blindsided there's hurt on her end, about not being told what was wrong and you just ending it. like you said you can't control her feelings, she feels how she feels and that's her business not yours. you need to do what is necessary for you to move on and be a happy healthy person.

you must understand that she is hurting just as you are and that you both need space to heal and grow. after a break-up people go through an emotional roller coaster and you just need to let her ride it out.

maybe sometime in the far future you might be able to re-connect and be friends or just be civil to each other.

Day 5

 

Affirmation: When the right person comes along, I'll love him and it won't hurt.

I always try and tell myself that, it helps me to keep going

do you live in my head???

i was thinking the exact same thing. however i feel that right now being on the forum is helpful, its way to vent about your feelings and connect with people who feel the same way you do.

however, i do believe that it can be harmful to your personal healing process. when i'm in bad moods i do my best to not read some posts because they can make you feel worse. so i usually try my best to stay away when i'm in those moods.

so i think as long as your not prolonging the healing process or making a sad/depressing day worse by staying on the forum and focusing on the break up only.

Day 1: 9:56

Starting all over. I can tell today is going to be a bad day, I'm gonna do my best to distract myself, I start work today.

Today was a good day, it was college graduation, I saw him and we didn't talk much. It really didn't faze me. I'm hoping his silence and weirdness is because he still has feelings for me and its weird for him to be around me. (at least that's what i'm telling myself, cause the other alternative hurts) so here's to him missing me and needing his space to get over it.

I'm not gonna contact him at, the balls in his court. I'm moving on and focusing on me.

i was feeling like crap earlier but friends took me out for my birthday and made me feel so much better, asked him to come hang out with me but he didn't, oh well back to NC, i made amends and extended the olive branch, if he wants to reciprocate then thats his business

So do I. Molly, smh

So today at graduation I talked to him and said that I want to friends and I genuinely mean it. I'm still not over him and I am setting up boundaries because I have to think about me first. But its my birthday and I always enjoyed his friendship and would like to spend the day with him and my friends ( if he comes). So I would appreciate the help navigating the world of ex's as friends.

Day 6: 6:05am

Today's my graduation and birthday, its sucks. gonna see him and his hate mongering family. wish me luck

what kind of person lies for six months? how do u manipulate another human being for 6 months, knowing all the while how it was going to end, how can someone do that?

I know I shouldn't, but I saw him today and the lack of communication is killing me. How can he be okay, how can he be fine? I'm dying on the inside. This our graduation we had talked about being together, he doesn't miss me?

Email I want to send, but won't:

I really miss you, I am just sitting and thinking about graduation and wishing how much we could be sharing this moment together but we're not. This thought is what kills me the most. I still love you very much, and hate how this situation has torn us apart.

I am not sure about how you feel, but I feel so lost without you. I was wondering if you wanted to talk or hang out one last time before I go home for the summer.