Theblueman123

Just keep trying.

Yeah just be chill and go with it. Don't follow the whole 3 day rule or something, people who follow "swingers" advice aren't really getting the whole picture. Anyway just move on and find someone else, it really isn't that difficult.

I never thought that I would be posting in here again. Oh well, nostalgia haha. Anyway day 1 NC, from now until I die.

Good luck here, LC is an entirely different monster to deal with. It's like playing high stakes poker and you've just gone all in.. I wish you well HeavyD, I'm doing LC right now to see what's gonna happen. I guess it's a bit like playing chess, and slow decisive moves are the key to our "victory"

Quick question - is there a best time to break no contact? I really want to do this firstly for myself, but deep down also to maybe hope she realises what she is close to losing.

 

Is it a case of continuing and if, and that is a big IF you receive a text asking to discuss things you then decide whether to make contact?

You can only do it when you're comfortable with her rejecting you, or if she has moved on and is happy with someone else doing with them what they did with you. When you don't care anymore, then you can break NC.

Well its 1:25 AM, which means that yesterday was Day 30... i made it, and it is now day 31.

 

I am not planning to call her, I miss her, but i am tired of being held back in my life by myself and and by that relationship. The future is mine, all mine.

 

I guess my only plan now that I have hit day 30 is simply to stop counting... might still be posting in this thread for a while, but we will see if i can stop the counting and just let it go.

Good luck, and congratulations. The purpose of this is to live without your ex. From 30 to forever if necessary. Oh, and also this is a victory over your ex. She didn't conquer you, but you overcame her. You won, and now it's time for the next act in your life to begin

Day 14, two weeks...Still thinking about the situation daily. Really want to send that email asking "So do you plan on just ignoring me from here on out?" but I don't think that's wise.

 

Feel somewhat like a piece of garbage that was tossed aside really...

Yep. Silence is defeaning in your situation, and trust me, your ex will come snooping around or you'll heal. Don't talk to him first though.

Day 6

 

Well when I started the NC I guess I did randomly cut off my ex randomly. Should I tell her whats going if she tries to contact me again since she did call me a few times already when I was on NC and I ignored it.

Send her a message stating that you don't want her to contact you. Don't give a timestamp or a date for how long it will last. You're doing this for your own healing, you come first.

Send her that message and keep doing NC, but don't start over (Just send her that message, don't reply or respond to anything else). NC is for healing, and when you have healed and changed, then you can intiate contact, but for now your ex deserves nothing from you.

Day 0

 

I swear- no matter what I go through, and know is wrong.....I cannot ignore him like he does me. He calls- I jump at it. When did I become this attached person- that takes crumbs. I'm fixated on something that doesn't even belong in my life anymore. I'm upset at myself for not being stronger. I have an angel/devil sitting on my shoulder...lol. and I always choose the damn devil.

Ignoring should only be used as a last resort. You want to heal from the break-up, it's too early for reconciliation. Ask him to not contact you again, and when you're ready you can contact him if you so choose.

Don't just cut him off randomly, this will only lead to confusion and more misery. If you really want to do NC, ask him to leave you be. If he then contacts you after that, you should ignore him until you have healed.

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

Add to my earlier post- finally decided to peek at the crush's myspace...and he has a girlfriend. Furthermore, seems like he hangs out with lots of hot chicks. Now I feel sad, and dumb for even flirting with him, as he's apparently WAY out of my league.

 

And now I miss my ex more than ever, too.

 

Still. Made it to Day 11. Go me.

 

People are only out of your league if you think they are. Confidence and decisiveness are extremely attractive, I can't count the number of times that I have been attracted to uglier women because they had an amazing level of confidence and knew what they were doing.

 

I know for us guys, we generalize women into 2 categories: Fun, and Relationship material. Guys don't pursue sloppy party girls, so I can almost guarantee that the pictures of him with women don't mean much (other than for an ego-boost)

Oh the avatar isn't me lol, but in real life I am extremely attractive and very muscular. Thanks for the comment

Day 30/Finish

My healing is complete, I see everything for exactly how it is, and I'm safely removed from everything. Today I broke NC by responding to an IM from my ex, we bantered about some casual stuff and it was good catch-up. I don't expect anything from her and I could tell she was shocked that I didn't worship the ground she walked on. I'm indifferent

It started out as a wish, and then a goal, and now it's a reality.

Woot! Your almost done. How does it feel to be so close to the finish line?

 

 

Day 2

 

She called me today and I ignored the call even though I wanted to call back. I wonder if I should tell her I'm doing the NC challenge so she won't bother me in the next 28 days. Good luck on all you challenges!

It feels really good actually. In the end you realize that it's not so much about the "Goal" of 30 days but how much you have progressed during that time. I'm done with everything and have moved on, it's a really good feeling to have. Though the best thing about it in my opinion would be the fact that I now have all of the power. I couldn't care less about my ex and I'm living my life as it is, it's truly a wonderful feeling.

And what's the funniest part about all of this is how she keeps posting on her status about how "Things just keep getting better" and how "completely amazing her life is" now. Lol, I'm just waiting for her to start snooping around again, there's a saying that applies "Only from a distance can the mountain be seen."

Day 29

Only today and tomorrow left... I had a setback yesterday due to a friends request, and I've spent today deciding on what to do. I unblocked her from facebook and accepted her myspace friends request (funny how she posted a "I can't live without you" song the day she sent it to me. I'll still wait until after my challenge is complete to contact her, but at this point I'm healed and I'm okay with her being there.

I'm okay because I feel indifferent, I don't care and I don't have any expectations, so I believe that that's a sign that I've moved on. It's weird befriending her because I cut her off emotionally a while ago, I gues NC has run it's course though.

I guess it feels good to finally have all of the power.

Day 1

 

My 2.5 yr relationship just ended about two weeks ago. For no reason my gf, who initiated the break up, decided to start talking to me on AIM (Aol Instant Messaging) since three days after the break up. I responded at first but now I noticed that its unhealthy and decided to start my challenge of no contact with her.

 

Edit: Btw I'm assuming that NC mean No contact, but what does LC mean? Sorry I'm new here.

LC = Light Contact, and NC is for healing purposes. It's a hard road, but you need to not talk to her ever again (unless it's about business). If you want to reconcile, then wait until you're healed and the problems (reasons you broke up) are fixed on both sides. It's a win-win sitaution because you heal and you move on either way (with or without her).

Day 28

Only two days from a month--and never lookig back, but today something unusual happened. My ex who "never wanted to contact me again" sent me a friend request. I've changed and I know that I am different now and that things are different, but I can't help asking myself what to do. Should I start talking to her again and see what might happen (without getting my hopes up), or just blindly ignore her?

What a very unnerving dilemma, I'll be spending the day with friends so hopefully that'll help. What's funny is that I don't want to get back with the person that she was, but if she changed (like I did), then I might give it a shot, and if I ignore her then I will be wondering "What If?"...

Day 26

Learned a lot, lived a lot, and now I'm a better person thanks to her dumping me. I guess that I'm finally realizing my true capability, and I won't settle for less than 100%. Only 4 days until victory.

Well today's the day. Here we are. Day 8. FFFUUUCCCKKK.

 

Sorry for the language, but it's really the only expression that's appropriate. I found out today, through facebook again (absolutely gutless) that she's in a new relationshop. With a predator that snuck right in as soon as I was out the door. I don't know what to think at this point. I'm pretty numb, and honestly, I hope it stays that way. I'm sick of breaking down and being on an emotional rollercoater.

 

All the more motivation to be the fittest, sexiest, most determined that I have ever been in my entire life. What's a little competition right? I hope she comes crawling back just so justice will have it's way.

 

Could really use your guys' encouragement - now more than ever.

My advice would be to delete her from facebook. If she wants to contact you, then she'll find a way. Looking at her page is only going to make the hurt last longer.

Day 21

Feeling a lot better lately. Metting new people, getting my life together, and overall everything seems to be working out. Suprising how much I'm different from day 1, I guess that's what time does to you though.

What's funny is that I'll probably thank my ex for dumping me, so far it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm over her

Day 15

Halfway there, despite a weird sense of loss (or maybe bereavement), I'm doing really great! Funny how at first I blamed myself for her cheating and leaving on me, and after I thought about everything, I know she was quite a horrible gf. Oh well, I won't stoop down to her level and mock her like she mocked me after we broke up, I forgive her and I forgive myself for the relationship. The only way left to go is forward.

I think a quote comes to mind here: "If they're dumb enough to leave you, be smart enough to let them go."

Day 14

Everything is getting a lot easier. The hatred turned into forgiveness, and then apathy. I can now look at what we "had" and laugh at how little she cared compared to me. It's kind of funny how I completely shut down so many women because I was dating my ex, before finding out that she was talking to her ex's behind my back. I was an awesome boyfriend though, her loss. Time to find someone who appreciates me!

Almost half way through

Day 11

It seems to be getting a lot easier now. Especially since the ex hasn't even tried to contact me since she broke up with me a month ago. Funny how at first I loved her, and then I hated her, and now I just don't care anymore. Apathy rocks!

Day 7

Everything is getting a lot better. I've been out of touch with my ex for two weeks already, and I am really suprised that she hasn't contacted me. I did break NC last week because of her deleting me from facebook (and sending a nasty hate letter, telling me how she never was happy etc, etc...) So I sent her a text saying that I was suprised that she could be so cold, and how I thought she was different, but I realize now that I was wrong.

And what's great is how much you realize was wrong with your ex once its over, and how little they truly cared (despite what they said). I forgave mine for cheating on me (Lol @ that, she ended up doing it again). And then getting dumped for her other lover (lolx2).

At first it hurt because I truly loved her, but then, I just stopped caring. If she truly loved me, then she couldn't (Or damn wouldn't of) done what she did. I'm happier now more than ever that she's gone, and I'm moving on!

Day 1

It was a really bad break, I've already done a week with NC before she finally deleted me from myspace, and sent me the message: "I would say it was fun while it lasted, but that would be a lie". I broke my week NC with the text: "I don't see how you could be so cruel to me, I thought you were different, but I was wrong." I don't see how someone who was in love with you could go to this, but I don't care anymore.

So now I'll start my journey without her, I wonder where I'm going to end up. Right now I just wish things could have been different.