Aeryn

I think this is Day 12. It could be 11, but I'm pretty sure it's 12.

If I hadn't broke NC that one time, I'd be at Day 26 right now. Oh well.

I'm feeling pretty content. I'm feeling his "window of opportunity" slowly but surely closing out. I think, within another 50 days max., that window will be closed.

I still hold on to a little bit of hope that he will return, but I know it's highly unlikely.

I actually miss him today. But it's because it's Friday--those were always our days to do things together.

Eh. I guess I was wrong about one thing...

He just replied back. He probably shouldn't have, seeing as how his response was just, "Ok."

Other than that, I know for a fact--100%--that everything else I said is/was true.

Why will he not respond?

 

That's my greatest problem -I know my ex will always respond. I know in 5 years I could call her up and it would still be like we're the bestest of friends. If you've read my story, you'd see that there isn't actually a 'true' reason as to why we have broken up, just one of those things. She's reached a point where I think she feels she hasn't experienced enough guys to know if I am 'the one'. Well, to be honest, I'm all she knows, I'm her first guy in every sense. I'm confident she'll regret this decision, I'm just not sure if it will be in 6 months or 6 years.

I'm glad you hold so much confidence. And I hope you're right...I hope she does regret her decision someday. And I hope you have a very positive outcome in the end--whether it be with her or not.

As for him not responding. It's just something I know, deep down. There's no clear-cut reason as to why he will not respond; he just wont. I guess he holds too much pride in himself. He's firmly stated that he does not want me, he does not want a relationship with any woman, he'd rather spend all time with friends and family, etc. I believe every word of it, as hard as it is.

Like you, I have confidence too. I'm sure he will eventually regret leaving me; but he will never have the courage to tell me he made a mistake, and he will never have the courage to try and rekindle things--even if he wanted.

Crap.

Well, after 13 days of NC, I broke it just a few minutes ago. I swear, it was an accident.

For the past 3 days, I've had the urge to contact him. I've restrained myself from doing so, however. I'd write up texts or emails, then save them to my drafts. I did the same thing earlier today...only, I forgot to exit out of the message completely, and I had another text message come in, went to check it, and hit the "send" button.

I didn't mean to.

Luckily, however, my text wasn't a desperate or needy one. I'm gonna regret having this sent out so bad. Good thing is, I'm pretty sure he will not respond...so I wont feel "disappointed" if I don't get a response from it.

Stupid me. No more saving messages to my drafts!!!