SayWhen

I started SI'ing when I was in elementary school. I would do it, and still do it (less often) out of anger and rage. I have BPD and when I do SI, I am usually in a dissociative state. People who cut because they think it is a "trend" really just frustrate the heck out of me.

It is so hard.. I wish I was at the same stage you are at.. But every part of me inside screams that I still love him and that I miss him...

I was his first "proper, serious" relationship.. first girl who he moved in with, first girl he slept with etc, and its so hard to let go of him and I wish I was able to, but its so hard and I don't know how I just don't know what to do from here... I feel so lost and I feel not like myself. I feel like a part of me isn't there.. And the part that isn't there any longer just feels numb..

 

I know it's hard. I miss the times we had and think about the times we could have had but I know it all would have been fake and may have all been fake anyway. I feel lied to, deceived and disgusted...I really thought I knew him frontwards and backwards. Just remember that he decided to leave you and that makes him believe that you aren't worth it...well, prove him wrong. Do well for yourself in everything, make yourself up, go out, enjoy your friends and family...and move on. That is what I am trying to do. I won't ever forget this time in my life but I will learn from it and live to see many more days, hopefully more joyous than what he ever provided me with.

This is totally spot on to how I feel as well..

We lived with each other since February, but we had been together since Feb 07.. I also agree with missing who we thought they were.. I do not miss him as the person he is now who goes out trying to get girls every weekend.. I miss him as the man who used to come home to me every night after work who I would hold and tell him I loved him

 

I know exactly how you are feelings. I remember those times and think "what the hell went wrong?" Then I realize that he was only appeasing me, perhaps even stringing me along...until he found the right time to break it off. And it is that fact that keeps me strong because what kind of disgusting individual does that? I want nothing to do with him now. If he had been who I thought he was, maybe things would be different...but I feel deceived. Basically, good riddance to him, and good luck to whoever gets tied to him romantically in the future because I am the second girlfriend he has done this to...I think he is incapable of having a mature relationship.

My ex did this too... an hour and a half before he left me. If someone had told me at that moment that he was going to leave, I would have laughed in their face.

 

God I miss him so much....

 

We were together almost 3 years I miss him immensly.. I have not felt the same since, I have felt empty and incomplete

We were together for nearly two years and had lived together for 17 months. I thought I knew him, and I thought he was my best friend...but I was seriously wrong. At this point I do miss him, but only as the person I thought he was...and I think, for the most part, I didn't know him at all. That is what makes it easier for me to move on, because I need genuine individuals...not liars who use you.