parlae

parlae - You shouldn't be grieving over your ex! You are a really pretty girl, I bet they are queing up at your door!

thank you.

but i'm definitely not grieving.

i feel the exact opposite actually...i have a feeling he'll come back to me lol.

i'm not worried at all for now.

i was just giving brazilgirl an example about how when our ex's date other people, it isnt necessarily a "serious" relationship.

I'm breaking NC... I need to talk to him. I need to cry to him... He is taking her.

are you sure about that?

it may only push him further away.

give it some time and dont do anything irrational

while we're on the subject of ex's dating...

when my ex broke up with me, he started "dating" a new girl right after and even invited her out to our hometown while he was here. a few days later... come to find out, it wasnt even anything serious like he was claiming it was. and they dont even talk anymore.

he even got mad when i told his "new girl" that i have a new guy in my life (even though that's false)

so obviously he still cares... lol.

so just because he takes a girl on a trip, it'll change your feelings about him??

I just found something out and am in a horrible urge to break NC. Please someone make me be strong!!!

what's the problem?

How I wish that my (ex-) guy would think like that !!!!

me too.

i have no clue what my ex is thinking at this point...

What book is this please, Chelsea? It sounds like something that would do me good to read too.

 

Thanks, and good luck with the NC

thanks,brokenheart.

 

the book is called Getting Back Together: How to Reconcile With Your Partner and Make it Last. by Bettie Youngs.

 

it's really helped me alot. and i'm sure it'd help you too if you're looking to reconcile with your ex.

 

best of luck!

day 3 for me.

(since i broke NC saturday night/sunday morning)

it was a serious situation though. not gonna get into the details, but some guy was pretty much chasing me and my sister for about a hour (lol kinda funny now.but it was scary at the time) and it was my instinct to call my ex for help.

anyway,

i dont regret breaking the rules.

but since i did, obviously i had to start over.

i've been feeling pretty good these past couple of days though.

i just feel it in my heart that we'll be back together.

some may call it false hope, but i believe in us for some reason lol.

reading my new book that i bought last week has really been helping me. it has questions at the end of each chapter (about myself, about my partner/ex, about our old relationship, and also how i'd like the new one to be)

it just really puts things into a different perspective. and i've really been focused alot on myself lately. i know my ex would be proud if he knew all the things i've been doing to focus on myself. because one of the biggest issues in our relationship was, he didnt like how i made him my whole world and i never did anything to better myself (college,etc.)

so i think this "break" is for the better, for now. so i can get my life in order. and if we ever do reconcile, the relationship will be better than it ever was before.

"aint no kiss gonna ever be our last kiss; our love will always exist"

^ just a lyric from this Mariah Carey song i've been listening to ^

lol

anyway,

hope everyone is doing good with their NC challenge. even though i havent been posting here everyday like i was at first, i've still been reading and keeping up with everyone.

and i think this way is better for me anyway (not counting each day and posting here to remind me that i'm COUNTING days lol)

stay strong, everyone!

-CHELSEA-

I am in a stage like another poster mentioned, where I am almost in denial that we aren't a couple. Even though I know I am not going to see or hear from him for at least 30 days and probably MUCH longer than that, I feel weird referring to him as my "ex." He still feels like "mine" even though he's away. It's like he's away at summer camp or something. I can't really get my head around the idea that he might be gone forever. The thought hurts too much.

i'm the same way.

i still feel like my ex is,and always will be,mine. and vice versa.

sad, but true.

talked to the ex again today

i told him i think it's crazy that we can't even be friends

and he said he "never said we couldn't be friends"

he just doesnt think that's really all i want to be with him.

which is true, obviously.

i think being friends is partially a good thing and also partially a bad thing.

i can't decide which i'm leaning towards more. i guess i'll just see how things go for the next few weeks.

like, in a way, i feel that being friends with him is better than not having him as a part of my life at all.

but at the same time, i feel like... if i'm friends with him i'm gonna just wish even more that i was still "his girl", ya know?

do any of you have any opinions on that?

The urge to contact is gonna be far worse with valentines day approaching...am gonna be thinking of her all the time and will want her to think of me...a personal aim for me is to make it past valentines weekend. If I do that I'll feel Ive proved to myself I can do this...I hope.

i agree,

valentine's day is gonna be a rough one for me

it has always been a special day for me and my ex

and is also my favorite holiday...

not so much this year, obviously.

but i feel the same way,

i think if i can get past valentine's day, i'll be ok.

parlae - I hear ya!

 

I went out tonight and my ex didn't show up. His two single friends did, which means he was probably with the other girl somewhere. I'm starting Day 5 and it seems like it's going VERY slow. I did 10 days already, without the challenge, and it felt faster. Ugh, I feel like breaking NC soon... I feel like if I just disappear he will fall for the other girl, and if I do contact him in about 10 days, I might bring him back to his confused state of maybe loving me?? This is such a HARD challenge!

thanks, glad to know someone agrees with me. lol.

i'm not sure if i'm gonna stick with this challenge.

i am starting to think maybe it would be easier to do it on my own. so i wont be constantly thinking "what day is it" (about the challenge), ya know?

and i'm sorry to hear that your ex didnt show up tonight.

i'm sure you were probably "secretly" hoping he'd come, right?

and i totally agree with you.

i have thought before, "maybe if i contact him in a couple weeks, i'll be on his mind and he'll reconsider"...

trust me, i know how ya feel on that one!

Yes Parlae, you have to start all over again now..did it really make you feel better, just " thank you"? x

yes, getmeback, it did make me feel better.

considering i havent heard from him since january 26th.

a simple little response such as "thank you", did make my day.

i'm sorry if that's hard to understand. but it's a step up from being ignored.

but since i "broke" a rule..i'll start over.

honestly though, i'm starting to reconsider this challenge.

i have no intentions on continuing to contact him, but i just think that constantly counting each day is making it seem like the days go by slower.

anyone else feel that way?

ok, today is the ex's birthday

i broke down and texted him only to say happy birthday. he replied saying "thank you", i told him you're welcome... and that was it.

nothing serious. but it still made me feel great, considering i was expecting no response.

but does this mean i have to start back at day 1??? ugh.... ](*,)

Day 16 for me. Had gone almost 5 weeks of NC and then ran into him. He went out of his way to make sure that I had to talk to him. Wish he hadn't done that because he put me right back at square one. This morning was a tough one. He was the first thing that I thought about when I woke up. I feel such a need to talk to him, so I don't take it day by day, but minute by minute at this point.

wow, lauramed.

how did that go? was it a friendly conversation?

day 5 for me.. (the longest i've made it so far! lol)

definitely feeling better than yesterday.

i'm still thinkin about him constantly, but i havent had the sad/depressed feeling yet.

for some reason, today, i have a positive outlook. like, i have a feeling in me that he'll be back.

it may be false hope, but for now, i like the way it feels.

eh...i dont know.

anyway,

still contemplating the birthday thing.

i know if it was my birthday, he'd still tell me happy birthday regardless if we're together or not.

it's his 20th birthday tomorrow, and i just feel like it's the right thing to do, just to send him a text and say happy birthday. nothing more,nothing less.

guess i'll keep pondering on it for the rest of the day...

oh, and brazilgirl, i say you should definitely go.

don't worry about if he'll be there or not.

like someone else already mentioned, just make sure to look your best.

show him what he's missing out on.

but dont go out of your way to speak to him.

keep us posted;let us know how it goes

I also feel like I won't ever speak to my ex again because he will never contact me. I also feel like now I'm giving him space to fall for the new girl. It's going to be a tough month.

i feel the same, brazilgirl.

even though i'm tryin not to have that negative mindframe, i just cant help it at times.

i keep thinking... "i'm gonna do this NC thing for a month, and i bet he still wont even try to contact me"

and i also agree about what you said about 'giving him space to fall for the new girl'

i'm so afraid that's what is gonna happen. but from what i know of her,she's not the "long-term relationship" kind of girl, ya know what i mean?

so i'm trying to keep that in mind. but ya never know...

ugh this is all so frustrating ](*,)

I am looking for him to take me back, but I don't think so. He said he's been so happy for me, but I have communiation issues, i dont listen, blah blah... Im hoping he'll reconsider bc I can change... I just wasn't that serious with him before... to even try to change... Im hurting alot, I think 80% of the breakup was my fault. he's been the most perfect bf to me... im going through all this pain + the feeling of guilt. It's going to take me so long to get over this... the worst part of it is around 2:30am - 5am, I wake up feeling so much pain in my chest, and I wake up with a puffy eye, I am guessing that I've been crying so much. Do you think our exes miss us or are they like whatever?

i'm hoping mine will take me back too.

i wish you all the luck with it.

and if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm here. because i'm goin thru it too.

i wonder the same thing about our exes (if they miss us or not)

and i honestly don't know the answer.

i hope they do.

the feeling is mutual, TL.

today has been one of the lonliest for me so far. and it's only day4.

i can't help but wonder if it's gonna get worse

i know for sure valentine's day is gonna be a hard one.

are you hoping for reconciliation, sunkist?

or just looking to move on?

just wondering..

good luck, by the way

Day 9!

 

Its her birthday today! But I was strong and fought off all urges to contact her in any way! Didn't get a text thanking me for the card I gave her a few weeks ago, but I didn't expect it.

 

Anyways, its been an okay day, only bad things are the waking up in the morning, and going to sleep at night thinking of her.

 

But overall im feeling much better than I was feeling this time last week. LC was doing me no good!

 

Hope you are all being strong!! x

good job, wiley.

my ex's bday is coming up in just two days (friday)..

i'm nervous just thinking about how i'm gonna handle that.

especially since he's still home on leave, that makes it even harder.

if he was back in cali at the naval base, i wouldnt be as tempted to break NC.

i might not even go out that night,for the simple fact that i'm afraid i might see him out

anyway...

today is day 4 for me. (day 4 is usually when i end up breaking down and trying to contact him. so i'm trying my hardest to not do that, this time.)

i never knew it'd be this hard. how can you go from talking to one person every single day for the past three years of your life, to complete NC.

he was such a big part of my life. not only my man but also a best friend at the same time.

i'm so lonely without him.

End of Day 1 and I made it.

 

Still doing it to have him back,

good job brazilgirl. i really think these first few days are hardest

and i am also still doing NC to get mine back.

ugh...the things we do for love..

thanks, webslinger. you hang in there too. you're doing great (day 24!)

i know everything will eventually get better.

it's just getting thru these rough times that are the hard part.

day 3

didnt get the chance to go out last night, so obviously i was thinking of him all night.

woke up this morning feeling depressed. sometimes i dont even want to get out of bed, i try to make myself go back to sleep. my dreams are way better than reality right now. (if you guys read the post about my dreams, then you should know what i mean lol)

i cant help but wonder if he has thought about me at all...

if he ever truly loved me, then he should still love me, right?!

he HAS to love me... i know he does.

i miss him alot. and the birthday ordeal is really givin me hell.

aww webslinger, hang in there.

you're on day 23. that says ALOT!

keep your head up.

and also, just wanna note..i find it sad that so many of us are dealing with this birthday issue. its so confusing and makes NC even harder for that one day.

No Contact will be initiated for ONE MONTH from the date that you post. This mean NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER...and I mean NONE. (Including going to picture sites and myspace/or like sites)

just so i'm clear on this part, because i'm curious.

why is simply viewing the ex's myspace profile breaking a rule of no contact? as long as you dont send them a message, etc. image removed

good luck to everyone once again!