Brokenhearted87

21 days today since we last spoke. 15 days today since I last initiated contact to be ignored/blocked/deleted.

I STILL LOVE HIM

Miss the friendship so, so much

18 days since we last spoke and I last heard from him. 12 days since I last tried to talk to him just to be ignored.

Confused.

Mustang, I feel your pain on the best friend thing. My ex was mine too.......now he's blocked me from contacting him...life is fair huh....double whammy. At least in your case you guys are still on good terms, relatively.

17 days since he last responded to contact (good phone convo)....11 days since I last attempted to initiate contact.

I miss my best friend.

16 days since he responded to contact. 10 days since I attempted any form of contact.

Can't believe he's cut me off.

15 days since we were last talking ie he responded to contact and hadn't yet cut me out of his life.......9 days since I last contacted him

Feel hurt and scared I'll never hear from him again

Is NC broken if you respond to a txt or answer their call?

Em.......yes...very much so!

Day 8 on my side, day 14 since he replied or responded to any form of contact from me.

Day 7.

A realisation.

The question I have been asking myself, and him repeatedly: Why does he hate me and choose to cut me out of his life?

Answer: Because of how I dealt with the break up

I cannot change anything that has happened or his behaviour towards me now, but I CAN learn from this that I am a person who would never treat another in this way. That makes me very different to him.

Day 6.

So lonely. Miss his cuddles.

Day 5 NC-NC (no choice no contact...lol!)

Feel empty

Dreamt a lovely dream about the two of us getting back together last night. When I woke up, I was confused for a few moments and thought we had, then remembered

Billionth round: Day 4

Woke up and cried. Miss talking to him. Everything reminds me of him lately, it's like every song, movie, or tv show which was "ours" has crept out of the woodwork and onto the airwaves and tv schedules. Also his name! And the road he lives on was on tv last night too!!! I was having all these flashbacks of walking it, with him Uh

I won't break NC, not that I can really, apart from texting him or calling him (if he hasn't changed his number by now ) to which he never responds, so what's the point. It really hurts that he doesn't care. I get a pang every time I think that we will probably never speak again.

Oh well................day 4

I'm in the same boat.

I feel similar. It really blows.

For the first few days, every time the phone rang or a text came in, I hoped it was from her, even though I wasn't going to take the call or respond. Just to know I was on her mind. Now, it would shock me.

Eyes, it would shock me too, cos he isn't speaking to me and is mad at me lol!

Oh how times have changed

Only thing is, I don't have an urge to contact him anymore (well of course I'd like to hear from him, but I won't ....so what's the point in me further badgering him.......if I continued he'd probably change phone numbers, if he hasn't already!). I know there is no point because I've already done the damage, ya know? And I can't repair that, so I just have to get over my loss of dignity and his loss of respect for me and leave him to enjoy his life.

IDK if he hates you. But he just wants some distance apparently. After BU, I've blocked girls that I've loved dearly, but just needed distance.

Yeah....I don't know. It's not really something within his character. Plus the last contact I had was to tell him that I wasn't pregnant (there had been a scare, however he never believed me!!) but rather had been diagnosed with something, he never responded, instead turned off his phone, blocked me and ignored my messages. So it really hurt that he blocked all contact with me after THAT. He clearly thinks I've lied about everything! Which is sick.

My ex blocked me on MSN and won't answer calls or texts anymore...even though last time we spoke before a few days of NC it had been a good convo...go figure

He clearly hates me.

So, I'm on my third day (pretty much enforced) NC.

Even though I probably wouldn't take the call, I wish the same.

Wish mine would too......don't think there's much hope of that ever happening. Well my former GUY not girl. It sucks checking my phone and never seeing anything from him.I miss him so much

Lol thanks Lit. It's weird...this time I know I have to do it, because he has taken steps to ensure I basically can't contact him anyway haha! So there's no point trying for a long, long time. I hope he hasn't left my life forever though. That would be sad.

Jesus........day 2 of about the billionth round!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 27

 

I hear that... I woke up at 4:30 this morning just wondering why all the lies, who's going to protect ME? Why hasn't anyone confronted HIM about his actions? HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM.... I am SO TIRED of thinking of him. I wish I could get out of my own head...

 

Me too. It's realllllllllllllly exhausting isn't it!!! I'm the one enduring the physical and emotional consequences of all this.....I can safely say he probably rarely gives me a thought. I just want to feel......peace. I can't wait for that feeling. Last week I woke up CONSTANTLY in the middle of the night, sometimes in a cold sweat....that's how much he has my mind addled....even subconsciously!!! LOL!

day 5, 40 to go

 

I still wake up and the first thing I check is to see if she emailed me during the night.

 

Yeah, I still find myself checking my phone as soon as I wake up.....there's never anything there

I really wish he wasn't the first thought to enter my mind when I wake up.

What is the thread called about the text?

It's in the Breaking Up forum...it's a bit of a mess of a thread!

Well I had to text my ex today (see my other thread), I did not have a choice under the circumstances. It was a factual, to the point message. I do not expect a reply, despite all the crap he told me about remaining good friends and in touch etc. I would not respond back even if he did, as I feel very hurt by him at the moment, and I find for the first time in the year I've known him, I have no real desire to talk to him,as I fear his responses now, as they are so hurtful and mean, despite his protestations otherwise. However, I'm continuing on and counting this as my 5th day NC. Is that ok to do?

Oishka/groan/cringe.....think I can safely say in the last few weeks I have done everything you shouldn't do. He thinks I'm a nut case!](*,)

10.40am Friday morning. Last contact was circa 6pm Monday evening. So Day 4....have never made it past day 3. I'm proud. I'm also sad, as I am pretty sure despite everything he said, that I won't hear from him again. Just have a feeling. It turned out he lied about everything else so it would figure.

Well it is the end of day 3....never made it this far before. So I guess that is something. Missing his friendship desperately, just talking about things. I hate the mornings....especially the ones where you wake up from a nice dream about them and have temporarily forgotten they dumped you, wake up smiling about them, then remembering they are no longer yours to kiss or touch...had one of them this morning.