RaeKarma

day 62

i finished movin in

spring break is over

take the ASVAB on monday

i think thats it....

day 61

rough day but things will get better....eventually

day 60

talked to a national guard recruiter today and some vets. tryin to take grasp of everything. im changing

day 59

i have decided to join the national guard as a medic. im still doin my research but by next spring semester i will be joining.

week two of EMT

day 57

moving

EMT

so poor

day 56

i can never say i feel great cause i never do. Lets just say I am tryin to fix all the broken pieces in my life.

week two of EMT

day 55

i move tomorrow and i should be studying

two more weeks of EMT trainin. I hope i can pass the national registry

i miss him i hope all is well at fort benning

day 53

skills day in EMT class

its a funny feelin with him not bein my constant thought anymore

i miss him but i will be fine without him

got a career to focus on

but i wish him all the best

day 52

school makes me sleepy

day 51

i cant believe its been that long since i have talked to him or seen his face.

i move in five days downtown. thank goodness... a chance to start anew.

i become an official EMT in a month. i have finally learned to live without him and im kinda proud

he comes back in eight weeks...just let time go

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED...and i am so grateful

day 49

EMT class tonight...im CPR certified yay!! slowly takin steps

life and emotions try to hold me down but I wont let them control my progression in life

took a chem test today ....yuck ...i seriously need a tutor....

two months until he returns...

just gotta keep goin as if he does not exist

but that is now harder than ever to do.....

day 48

all i gotta say its been a rough week.... i pray i make it through all of this

day 46

can u believe its almost april? this month flew by.

anyways i started EMT training today. super intense but imma make it. 20 more days and im a certified EMT. awesomeness.

i

I really dont know what day it is since I have signed up for this chance so im just gonna go by how many days it has been since I have talked to or seen my ex....

It has been 44 days

Have not seen or talked to him...i mean I have gone longer without seein or talkin to him (we didnt talk for a year cause he was with someone else and she did not like me cause he liked me) but its different when u fall in love with ur best friend and then it ends....some days go by easy and some are very difficult to cope with. I really dont wanna lose him in any fashion but what I really want now is to not lose my best friend. I think that would be the last straw in it all. Seven years of holdin one another down and a year and a half of a relationship and then it all is just gone in the blink of an eye.... that would devastate me. I hope things in our personal lives change for the better so that we can at least go back to bein friends when he retruns. It would be a devastatin shame to lose him totally. I know in these past weeks, my personal life has changed dramatically for the better and I sincerely that it has for him as well. I miss him dearly. But the NC is beneficial for personal growth and I just pray madly that things between us work out.....

i think this is day eight but i have really lost count i have been throwin myself into school pretty hard so i lose track of the time but im keepin it pushin

I think that this is day 6 or 7 for me but im not really sure....

but it has been officially 42 days since i have talked to or seen the ex....he returns in two months....we will see what happens at that point....keep strong everyone and i will try to keep postin daily...

day 5

41 days strong just lettin the time pass and waitin for the new day.

EMT starts in five days

i think that this is day 4 since i signed up for this challenge.

Its been 40 days since i have seen or talked to him

today was a good but mostly bad day. i have reached the "sick and tired of bein sick and tired" point. The drama and the sadness in all aspects of my life has i gotten old. i just wanna finish school get my BSN and start a family. Its time for me to really learn take in and just live a good life. Love and be proud of myself.

idk if that is the best idea u gotta learn to be on ur own again. its hard to be alone no doubt it hurts like crazy but when u get to that point u get a feeling of accomplishment and independence. but u can try the datin thing it might help

I think its rather normal to thinj that way. I still my ex is hookin up with some girl at his training camp while he is in georgia. i usually go study chemistry when those thoughts enter my head

Sam i know exactly what u mean. it has been six weeks since i have seen or talked to my ex. And as the time passes u start to think about the wonderful close connection the two of u had and u just want it back. Ur in those first days and those are always the worst. i cried my way thru the first few weeks and could barely leave my house. But i got through it and now im breezin thru my second month. U got to get to that point where u dont need her anymore. Put her out of ur mind and time will fly by

day three

week six since he departed for basic training. have not talked to him in six whole weeks...crazy ....i cant even write cause im too tired...had to get up early for chemistry class....lookin for a job....waitin for EMT class to begin...i wanna go to sleep. imma take a nap when i get home

idk i dont think lc works. at least i know it wouldnt work for me. Goin straight NC is like good meditation and a way to gain strength. Its time u spend workin on ur self and resisting the naggin urge to call or text or whatever. As more& more time passes u stop obsessin over the phone and u go on about ur business. NC i think will show ur ex that u dont NEED them and they lose power over u and they become vulnerable & weak without u. Thats when they start to miss u.

Day 2

Second day here not feelin as bad as I did on day one but I guess thats cause Im throwin myself into my schoolin more. I dont know how Ill feel when I get home but I guess if I feel bad Ill buy some junk food and watch a good movie. Me and my friends are hangin this weekend so that should be fun.....i miss my friends since we dont get to hang out much due to the fact that my main college friends are also in college sports. Im done with track and field its too crazy...a year and a half of that is crazy enough.

Anyways I remember the first days of me and my exes breakup. I was at school and I had called him tryin to resolve the problem and askin if he could give us one more chance. Of course he said no I had to sit in a bathroom stall and cry for like half an hour b4 I could actually go to class.

Its been six weeks since that day and five weeks since he left for army basic training. I have learned a lot about myself in that time and about our relationship and why it turned south. I must admit it was both of our faults (that still did not give him the excuse to treat me like he did in the end) and I realize the issues of mine that I am now working on and, if I do say so myself, am doing quite well on correcting.

We have not talked at all in five and a half weeks and I often wonder how he is doin out there in Fort Benning goin thru all of that military training and I wonder (sometimes worry) about what its gonna be like between us when he returns in may or june (about two months from now). Since we have been friends for seven years I would like to at least continue to be friends....if we both decide that a relationship between us will work out. I mean we have held one another down this long...why give all that up?

Anyways I am glad that I have made it through these six weeks....it makes me confident that I can last much longer...and I have also noticed a more mature demeanor about myself. I mean I know im only twenty and have still a lot of learning to do but this right here is one of the biggest learning lessons that I will ever have in my life....

March 21st I start the EMT program and then the days will fly by. Im glad I took on this challenge....it helps in the healing. Now onto day 3! lol

day 1

well technically its not day one of my NC its really like the fifth week but its day one since i signed up for this challenge.

I have been tryin to use school as a distraction to keep my mind off the split and it mostly works. But today a feeling of lonliness swept over me. Its like when all ur daily work is done and u go home to that lonley house it just kinda overtakes u.

Maybe its i saw a friend today and she asked about him and how i was holdin up. Either way it sucks