delerium6

NC Day 10.

Those 10 days will be easy compared to the next 10 days spanning Christmas and New Years Eve. First time in 6 years these days will pass without 'her'. It's not like I'm going to contact her (and I know she won't contact me, as she knows I'm still pretty hurt/emotional). NC is still going to happen. But I just want to close my eyes and get next week over with as quickly as possible.

I'm sure next holiday season will be a lot better, regardless of whether I'm single or with someone else. But this one is trashed.

Day 9 NC today.

I've only dreamt about her a few times since the breakup, surprisingly. But she was in my dreams last night. So, needless to say, this morning's been a bit rougher than usual.

mornings are always the hardest for me.

Yep, exactly for me too. Those first couple hours are rough. I've always tended to wake up a couple times really early, look at the clock, then go right back to sleep until my "normal" wakeup time. But since the breakup, the first time I open my eyes those memories flow in and I can't get back to sleep.

The rest of the daytime is OK. Then from late evening on it gets tough again. On top of all this, a blizzard kept me basically indoors all weekend with nothing to stare at but the four walls (and some TV and my computer)...

 

i really miss having her in my life....

 

 

 

Totally understand.

 

I got a piece of good news at work today, and the first person I would chat to about it would've been her.

 

It's a shock to the system of how much they are a part of our lives - then in one instant they are a ghost, as if they never existed.

 

I know NC is about healing and focusing on myself, but I often can't help wonder what she's thinking, and if she's missing me as much as I'm missing her. I probably don't even want to know the answer to that one, though.

yeah i agree about my ex, its hard to be mad at somebody you love so much.

but yesterday I did experience an anger phase.

how could you let me completely drop/change my life for us, when you were having doubts long ago??!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

 

 

I know she did what was best for her and what she thinks was best for us, I know she didnt want to hurt me, I know she cares for me, I know she wants me to be truly happy. but all those things dont help with the heartbreak of losing somebody you love.

 

I'm kind of in the same boat too. After years of being with this girl, she gave me the "I love you, you're great to me, but feel I'm not in love enough to get engaged/married" line. Broke me to pieces.

 

Once in a while I get angry, thinking about the time I had my high hopes strung along. Then other times, I know it wasn't her intent to hurt me and she's always had some issues articulating her deepest feelings.

 

Anyhow, I'm back to square one and now only on NC Day 2.

 

Get through Christmas and New Years sticking with NC will be a struggle, but something I know I'll do.

I was on 8 days NC.

Yesterday I sent her a relationship column I thought really helped explain what might've happened in our relationship, and added some thoughts myself as well.

Good article, but I shouldn't have sent that. So... back to square one of NC again. :sad:

I'm on Day 7 and constantly wonder the same questions about my ex-gf, even though I know I shouldn't.

Day 6 of NC

 

It doesn't get any easier....as time goes on I keep thinking

 

a) He's wondering what I'm up to and could possibly call anytime now - fat chance!!

 

or

 

b) He's so busy with his 'new life' that he's not given me a second thought

 

Hmmm...

I might've made a huge blunder.

I'm also on Day 3 of NC... I think.

Came home from work, needed to make a couple calls to people. Not her. So what did I do? Called her cell number by mistake (she's obviously on my mind quite a bit). I immediately hung up during the first ring. I might've caught it in time where the ID didn't show up on her cell, but I don't know.

I tried calling my own cell phone from the landline, and it seems to take a little more than one ring before the cell gets the signal.

Crap. I guess I'll never know if I "broke" NC just now or not. ](*,)

My girlfriend decided to separate from me last Tuesday. I did write one of those weepy, heartbroken emails shortly thereafter, unfortunately.

For this 'challenge', Day 1 of NC starts now for me. Here in Michigan it's foggy, drizzly and grey. How appropriate.