Lovisha
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Posts posted by Lovisha
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For the longest time I have lived my life to make those around me that I care about happy, so yes I married a man even though I wanted to be with a woman and yes, I at one point believed I would be happy in this marriage simply because it is the "ideal" traditional family. My husband knew that I preferred women long before we were married. As a matter of fact he knew within the first six months or so of our relationship. I have always been honest with him, and in response to what someone in a different post replied, I DO NOT sneak around with women behind my husbands back. Everytime I have been with a woman, well for the most part it has been one woman in particular, he has known about it. I never lie to him about what I do. Maybe I am asking for too much. Like you said how can I be sure that breaking up my family will make me happy. I can't. I just know I am tired of hiding who I am.
(and sorry about the color! lol)
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Okay, so I am 24 years old, have two beautiful children, and a wonderful husband who is completely understanding. We have been together for 6 years and married for 4. I have always been more into women and dated mostly women in high school, but because of my family's beliefs, I always had to sneak around. I love my husband, but honestly I love him as more of a best friend than a lover. Our sex life is tolerable, but it is nothing compared to when I am with a woman. I often wonder how much happier I would be if were true to myself. He knows how I feel about women and has no problem with me being intimate with a woman on the side, but I want more than that. I CRAVE more than that. If I were to come out I know my family would not be supportive and they would probably disown me. More importantly, how could I explain this to my two very young children? I also don't want to hurt my husband, and I know he would be devastated if I left him. I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. Is it worth it to lose my comfortable life to be truly happy?
Is being completely happy worth it?
in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
Posted
Thank you very much! You are right on the money. I appreciate you trying to see things the way theya re within my current situation instead of judging the decisions I have made. We ALL make mistakes, and I am trying to work through mine.