Lovisha

Thank you very much! You are right on the money. I appreciate you trying to see things the way theya re within my current situation instead of judging the decisions I have made. We ALL make mistakes, and I am trying to work through mine.

For the longest time I have lived my life to make those around me that I care about happy, so yes I married a man even though I wanted to be with a woman and yes, I at one point believed I would be happy in this marriage simply because it is the "ideal" traditional family. My husband knew that I preferred women long before we were married. As a matter of fact he knew within the first six months or so of our relationship. I have always been honest with him, and in response to what someone in a different post replied, I DO NOT sneak around with women behind my husbands back. Everytime I have been with a woman, well for the most part it has been one woman in particular, he has known about it. I never lie to him about what I do. Maybe I am asking for too much. Like you said how can I be sure that breaking up my family will make me happy. I can't. I just know I am tired of hiding who I am. (and sorry about the color! lol)

Okay, so I am 24 years old, have two beautiful children, and a wonderful husband who is completely understanding. We have been together for 6 years and married for 4. I have always been more into women and dated mostly women in high school, but because of my family's beliefs, I always had to sneak around. I love my husband, but honestly I love him as more of a best friend than a lover. Our sex life is tolerable, but it is nothing compared to when I am with a woman. I often wonder how much happier I would be if were true to myself. He knows how I feel about women and has no problem with me being intimate with a woman on the side, but I want more than that. I CRAVE more than that. If I were to come out I know my family would not be supportive and they would probably disown me. More importantly, how could I explain this to my two very young children? I also don't want to hurt my husband, and I know he would be devastated if I left him. I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. Is it worth it to lose my comfortable life to be truly happy?