Anathema001

I just phoned back and it was her answering machine ... I think I also screwed up because I aint good at talking at the phone lol >

ye maybe am worrying too much.

U know ... I always had what some call fear of rejection or something ?

Like now I am a bit affraid of calling her because there is a chance she could cancel or ... ARGH ... am doing it again O_O

We do have other rules indeed.

But to clarify things : the girl I was dating was the one I am talking about now.

We arent together ( doh ) but whats confusing with that ?

Maybe I explained myself bad in my ther topic .

About the other girls, yes i passed on other dates but that just me. If I try to be confident with someone I cant do the same with someone else. Yes I aint involved with the girl yet and meybe it will never be something but hey, in the end there is only one that I will truly love and dont want to play around with others ... she came first so she gets my friendship first !

Just see how this weekend goes and maybe you can get to the bottom of this. I'm sure she would have made an excuse if she didn't want to meet you. Maybe she is shy. I really hope it works for you. x

Ok I will do that but anyway ... I will call her back in a moment to give her details to where we gonna dinner this saturday ... found a cool resto in town !Is there something I could tell her more maybe ?

women are crazy

I am some kind off lunatic in my own way

When I'm unsure if I like a guy after the first date I will make the next date a few weeks later. Give's me time to think about it because I didn't feel anything click the first time but I always give a second or even third chance. She may not have felt what she thought she would have but isnt' going to totally rule you out. Which sounds harsh but sometimes it's not an automatic thing. Thing is the more space you give her the more you will find out just how interested she is in you.

That sounds interesting ... so maybe I shouldnt tell her what i said now to give her space ?

My question is how am I supposed to react ? I seek some kind of confirmation because she makes me very confused

I would like a guy to be honest with me like that. To be honest with you if i like someone i rather have the guy contact me i guess it's because i fear rejection.

 

Maybe you should see how she reacts to you at work first. Have you seen her lately?

I saw her at work 1 week after our first date but since we have only small breaks we didnt had alot of time to talk.

To me she seemed pretty cold since she didnt talked about our last date.

She just confirmed she wanted to go out saturday again but she sounded uncertain to me :S

no she'll think you're a wuss

why is that ?

Ok so since a week i asked some advice about different things on this forum and I must say most advice was a great help for me and I wanted to thank to people of ENA.

So to resume short what happened

-I went on a date with a girl i know from work, we had a great time but nothing happened yet.

-We said we would date again, but she said it only be ok this saturday ... that meas 2 weeks after the first one.

-She became distant in her ¸messages, no more flirting like she used too. Its always me who call/message her first.

- I THINK she is dating someone else aswel but am not quiet sure.

From the advice i took, i am 90% sure she isnt interested anymore in me but since she didnt called off the date MAYBE she still is however maybe she also want things to end in silence.

So I will call her and this is what am going to say : "I noticed last week u became more distant toward me then before, maybe because of sonething I did or said ?. That made me ask myself the question if u really had the need to date me ?"

I ask her this because I dont want to get involved in something heartbreaking.

If she wants to date me I think she should make it more clear toward me. I aint selfish but I can tell u that in those 2 weeks I missed other occasions with other girls ( I dont date different people at the same time ).

And I dont think I get the attention I diserve IF she likes me. I do like her but it is like I get nothng in return.

Should I tell her what i wrote above or is it a bad idea ?

There is your answer.

 

Women will always say they want a nice guy, a guy who says things just like that. I've learned that women are illogical and rely on emotion, you telling her you liked her took all the fun away. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way and has had sucess alternatively.

 

Trust me when I tell you....that was the deal breaker right there. Forget about it, move on and dont ever tell a girl that, they already KNOW THAT IF YOU ARE DATING THEM.

I once told that to a girl and she liked it.

I hope not everyone is that cliche.

see, i'm kinda in the same position... had a great date with a great guy... it had been THREE weeks... (now, he works full-time about 50hrs/week and goes to school full-time...is a senior in college..VERY BUSY)... i thought he wasn't interested, but we'd talk every few days and such...

 

Well, last night we had our second date and it couldn't have gone better. He says he's really interested in me

 

 

 

So, my point is, I think it all depends on the circumstances... in a normal case, then yes, definitely too long

well she is doing a very important endyear stage for school atm >

dam I already thought so aswel ... but why dont she tell me then ?

If she is not interested why date me ?

I wonder how long is good between dates ?

My 2nd date now will be 2 weeks after the first one. Thats is because she cant go before she said.

2 weeks is bad nd too long or is it fine ?

I respect others people shedule but if it takes that long does the other person really likes you ? Dont u have the need to c someone more often if u like him ?

So don't ever let anyone tell you women prefer bad boys.

Ok thnx but I never said I wanted a cycle / car to be a bad boy

Risking to sound vain - it will help to have a car (I am not saying great car, just a car to come from point A to point B).

I am thinking since some time about buying a bike but my friends say a car is better for any wether and for when u have to bring people to parties.

Interesting, maybe I should move. When you say "dating" do you mean hanging out and without sex?

 

I can handle dating more than one person fine but once I have the place in me emotionally for someone to the extent that I am willing to risk sleeping with them, I don't have it in me to sleep with others. And just the thought that she would is enough of a turn-off to qwell the whole deal.

ye thats a bit what I tryed to explain !

I think in that case it hasnt anything to do with being egoistic

No flowers, not yet.

 

I've never given a gift at all to a woman, with whom I have been romantically involved, until after I kissed her. When I once gave something to a woman I was interested in but with whom nothing had happened, nothing ever happened.

 

No flowers until it's a serious relationship, and you can let her know you have romantic feelings. Keep it light-hearted, if you must give her anything.

Any other ideas yet ? something that can show I have a romantic feeling but isnt too strong ? I know that if I choose somethign it will often be to strong because thats the way I am

If you're in Belgium you should be able to get around from town to town by train, right? It's not like here in Canada where the towns are 1/2 hour apart and a car is the only way to get there!

 

But no, this shouldn't affect your dating prospects. If a girl doesn't have a car of her own, then she's used to finding other ways to get around. Just try to be a gentleman - walk her home or wait for the train with her. Always call her later to make sure she arrived home safely.

Well yes first of all in Belgium its easy to travel but sometimes like I said it can be annoying.

The girl I date owns a car.

I do have money for a car but I need it for alot of other stuff

Hi here I am again with an evident question -_-

I am 20 but since I study in another town ( I live in a room i rent 5 days each week ). Thats one of the reasons I dont have a car ... I have other plans with my money and I dont really need one atm.

But it often anoying ... I want to drive girls back home or take friends with me easilier.

Atm I always have to make "rendez-vous" to a particular place.

I experienced some cases where not having a car was sometimes annoying for dating ... especially if its in another town -_-

Do u think the fact I dont have a car can have serious impacts on dating ?

By that i DO NOT mean I would want a car to brag with ... its all about the practical aspect of having a car

Smiles,

 

From reading your post, I got the impression that you haven't kissed her yet. If not, then you need to bust a move on her before giving any gift.

 

I agree with Beec if you must buy her something. I would avoid any declaration of feelings such as flowers but inexpensive candy as suggested by Beec would be better.

no flowers ?

I was going to buy a rose for the girl I am dating with ( didnt kissed her yet ) witha small message on it ( like a oneliner ).

So u mean this is a very bad idea ?

Lots of people always say u dont have to come over too strong but in my opinion that isnt hard at all

what do u think ?

Uhm ok, I agree with all what u say but maybe I explained myself in a wrong way. My point of view was not self-cenered at all. OFC she can have her own friends etc and i can perfectly understand sometimes she dont always want me with her but to me ... that other date she had just didnt felt like an investigation -_-.

But after all maybe its all in my head. Also in the country where i come from we think differently about this ( no offence to your way of thinking ).

It could be also me who is totally wrong. In fact I have only few experience with serious dates. But thats why I made an account here ... to learn

thanks for the good reply's.

I will try to make the best out of it first of all.

I still think the signs are getting obvious that she doesnt want to go farther with me but anyway, I have nthing to loose anymore.

The multiple dating made me think ... it is true that I could me aswel go out with other girls at the same time but I never did because I think its not right ><. at least i think most of people here do. there is a difference between serious one on dating and out with friend never thit that because in date u are kind off yourself to beloved one. this person does the same for u. telling sweet things another just sounds like didnt even ment what said.>

Ok I understand u can be attracted by more persons together but saying to both " I like u" sounds like playing with their feelings to me. I mean ... u could create some expectations to the other girls while in fact u dont give a crap.

But thats just me. I never did it ecause I dont want a girl to do that to me.

But in the end ... I think am being to nice too often. I will give it a try once maybe.

If she is going out wiht two different guys, I'd bet when she eventually picks one, she picks to guy who is more confident. Be that guy, and you are a shoe in. Don't try to buy her affection with kindness, gifts, dinners, etc. Just be a confident, decent guy.

Then I have some serious issues :

1) I wanted to make her a gift for valentine

2) the guy is going out BEFORE I go out with me and am angry something could happen

I heard the girl I am going to redate saturday is also going to date another guy thurday.

When I hard that I felt cheated, even though we are not together.

I feel like she is just going out with me out of pity and this may explain a few things like why since a few days she doesnt flirt anymore.

I dont want her to think I am jalous ( I obviously am jalous ) so I just shut it about that other guy.

Do u think I still have a chance with her ? Because I want that girl bad. And I fell even more guilty now because nothing happened the first date so she may also think I am an obsolete guy ( in fact I am very shy ) and thats why she dates another guy aswel ?

I fell sad , confused and angry both all together and because of that I cant focus on the others aspects of my life. Actually I thought this would all make me go better but it makes me suffer more then I basically thought.

Help me with advise plz

well thnx for the quick replys

I will give it a try but I really hope it is like some of u said.

Btw on my second date, since its valentine soon , i wanted to buy a single rose befre we went to dinner.

Is that too "oldstyle" or maybe even too strong ?

What u think ? Exept the bodytalk i wanted to give her a little present in order to make sure she doesnt think i am uninterested >