Troubled_69

By mood, I mean you talked about losing the mood before with her even though you are past it now. The doctors and the pills you were taking.

 

Here's a theory. It's possible you like two different kinds of women. One like you wife and one like you see in the vids. I don't agree with those people who talking cutting down or "addiction". Im also getting the vibe that you feel that you didn't "get enough" during the teen years before being with your wife and you are kind of living it through the films. As if you want to go back through those years and have a ton of hot sex with teens your age. Does this sound right to you?

After reading all of the feedback and advice that people have posted i think you have hit the nail on the head. Last night we had sex for the first time in about a month and it was fantastic, the trouble i have now is afterwards i always tell myself that i will pick up the pace i.e. have sex more often but it never seems to happen. With regards to porn do you think it is acceptable to masterbate on occasions when i am alone and wife is at work? I suppose the whole lack of sex arises when i have recently masterbated and don't feel like i have the energy to go again although at 27 this should not be the case. Do you know of anything i can take to improve my libido? After writing my problems down i felt like i had shared a problem and felt like i had sorted the issue out in my head. Thanks to all for the advice i intend to start 2007 with a positive attitude and to make my marriage/relationship what it used to be

I guess the most important question is: Do you want your marriage to work? If you do, then resolve to solve this without turning away from your wife/cheating/leaving.

 

What have you done to alleviate the boredom?

 

How did you come to the conclusion that cheating/leaving would make this better?

 

Perhaps you only need sex education! Honestly. If your expectations and knowledge of how to have a healthy sex life are askew and not working for you, those can be changed and learnt if you wish.

 

Do you find your wife attractive? Do you get hot when seeing other women - or is your lack of desire thorough and your viewing of porn is more of a reflexive, stress relief thing?

I can't say that i have done anything to alleviate the boredom because i always resort to porn when i feel low/bored. In cheating/leaving i felt that i would be giving myself sexual experience but at the same time i would lose a life of security and love so at present i am against this option. I do find my wife attractive and yes i do feel lust for other women.

I disagree with the people here. You can use porn and masterbate as much as you want and STILL have time for the woman. But this could be a few things. And if you answer me honestly, then it should be pretty easy to find out.

 

1) How attractive to you is your wife?

2) Are you happy with your own body and genitals?

3) Is your wife hard to please?

4) What sort of porn do you watch?

5) Is your wife a "good girl" while you sometimes enjoy getting off to "bad girls"?

6) Have you ever tried imitating "porn sex" (dirty talk, ejaculations on body parts and/or face?, high speed and force etc) on your wife? If not why? If yes, how did she react to it?

7) Did the whole "mood" thing you described makes you scared that it will happen to you with her again?

1) I find my wife very attractive and only recently she has taken to losing quite a bit of weight so she is now slimmer than when i first met her so this only heightens my attraction.

2) My body does not displease me although i am at the gym maybe twice a week to improve my physique. Genital wise i am not completely unhappy as i know not much can be done to improve size in that department. My only problem would be that when flacid i retract drasticaly so i appear smaller than usual.

3) Pleasing my wife has never been a problem sexually we both enjoy oral and if unhappy she will communicate her issues.

4) I tend to watch hardcore porn on the internet usually teen stuff but whatever i can find generally.

5) Yeah bad girls are good for gettting of on sometimes, but my wife can also be bad when she wants to be.

6) She appeared a bit shocked when i asked about facials etc but went along with it and will often oblige me which i enjoy. Dirty talk is good and i like the vocal side of sex but again my wife is not often vocal in bed.

7) Am not sure what your asking with relation to the "mood thing"

I am a 27 year old guy and am having real problems with my sex life. I have been married for just over two years and my wife and i are great together except in bed. In the run up to our wedding we were having a few problems and i went to the drs who reffered me to a specialist. At that time i had no urge for sex and although i was getting frequent erections my desire was not there. I was told it was stress (pre wedding) and was given cialis (similar to viagra) for the honeymoon period. The honeymoon itself sex wise was ok but not great as again my desire still was not totally willing. At present we have sex about once a month. We are both shift workers so time together is spent catching up and/or relaxing but with very little sex. My other problem which i feel is related to this matter is porn. I am on the internet most days viewing porn and maybe masterbate three times a week. Prior to meeting my wife i had only one sexual partner which was a total wash out and although sex when we first met was fantastic i think that maybe i am bored with my current position. The love that i have for my wife is such that i do not want to leave her/cheat on her but feel at present this might be the best route to happiness.

If anyone can help i would be most gratefull.