daletroN

i second maverick's opinion

jus curious how long you did NC for

i've read your posts from the beginning and as hard as it is, you love her right? so no matter how hard it is, even in a few months when you think enough time has passed by, DO NOT CONTACT HER. she's asking and telling you this, so respect her because you LOVE HER, that's it.

is it over good? yea it is man. will you talk to her again one day? of course, she says she doesn't want to know anything about your life etc, that's because she's hurting. but i guarantee that one day when she's healed, it could be years from now- you'll hear from her again. and who knows, when that day comes, it wont hurt for neither of you and if that spark is still there, who knows what can happen.

bottom line is that you messed up in the relationship, so if you ever want to make that up to her, do not contact her WHATSOEVER until the day she does. everytime u feel like u want to, just remind yourself that you love her and you won't because of the fact that you do.

take care man, it's not going to be easy.. reality will hit you and it will be rough, but life does move on and i guarantee you too will be happier again one day, just hang in there for now, find some hobbies, fill your schedule with different things to fill the void of when she was there and move on bro, there's nothing else u can do. good luck

Everything with me is NOT so "final".....however I AM realistic. Getting angry with me because I am not saying what you want to hear is very telling, and yes...it completely solidifies what I have said all along.

 

You have created THREE threads within the last few days about the SAME thing basically..THAT is obsessive, sorry. I seriously DOUBT I am alone in my thinking here.

 

You are gonna do what you're gonna do anyway.....that is quite apparent.

 

At any rate...good luck to you.

i actually understand this obsessive feeling as i was going through that.. and still am but not nearly as bad.. seriously just hang in there, it'll get better in time (yea.... i hate time atm), but i'm serious. try to keep your mind occupied when you have nothign to do, tv, music, anything so that your mind is focused on somethign else

"...but it appears that she is also on there so that she can do things she didn't feel she was able to do when with me."

that's what people do when they become single.. and you have to face that reality. yea i know how much it can hurt to know something like that, but why would you restrict her from doing what she wants to do to feel better? you care for her right? so let her be.. let her discover herself by you giving her time to herself by NC.. dont break it for hersake.

"...what's making me want to break contact out of fear that the longer I wait, the easier it will be for her to successfully use that account to get over me..."

there is nothing you can say or do to get her to come back to you.. seriously. when a girl breaks up with someone, it's usually something they been thinking about for a while and it's real hard to change that decision. by doing NC, you'll fix yourself of all the things you messed up on her and if she wants to keep communication with you, you can show her after NC for a while and show her how u changed. by showing her NOW it won't matter to her because she's still clouded by confused feelings from your guys relationship. by breaking NC, you're not giving her space to decide what she really wants.. and if you love her and u know you messed up, you'll live with that as long as she's happy right? stop checking her facebook and live your life the best you can right now.. and in a little while after you think you've given her a good amount of time of NC (be honest..) call her to see how she's doing and go from there.

bump good post

i think when you pray to God, you can't ask him to bring someone back into your life, i really don't think He works like that. when i pray for my situation, i just ask that i can someday understand what He wants from me because this is His doing and this is all part of the plan He has for you... all i want to do is understand my situation.. as confusing and heart breaking it is and to be strong and grow from this situation.

day 1

well i finally grew a pair of balls and am officially starting NC... i do feel relief, but at the same time i feel majorly depressed about what i'm doing... i JUST recently started hearing from her everyday.. and u would think that i would be happy hearing from her more often, but i'm not.. ihad to do this because i don't want to hear about the new guy she's with.. but at the same time i do want to be there because she's told me that i'm the only true friend she has... and she's not the type to front about saying something like that. so i do feel so much guilt.. i feel like i just ditched her after saying how much she still cares for me (as a friend).. especially because i already have so much guilt over our relationship. i guess now my thoughts are consumed of things like "am i going to talk to her again?" "what am i going to do if she calls me one day and i'm not ready?" right now i feel like, everytime she ever does call, ima text her the same thing "i still love you baby, but i'm not ready to talk to you right now".. so at least i can still tell her i love her, i know then i'll be technically breaking NC, but i'll still be able to keep NC. i love her so much and just want her back.. but i'm pretty damn sure it'll never happen... so i feel like i should just keep her in my life as a friend like she wants..as i want too......but i guess that hurts too because i'm degrading myself, going from lover to "best friend".. yet she spends all her free time with him, not me- so maybe i shouldn't feel so guilty. i'm just lost in thought.. scared of becoming more depressed... i dont know if i did the right thing... i think more than anything i'm just scared of losing her because she is a great friend and person to me.. and i dont know what i'll do if i lose her forever. life does move on, but i still want her there...

ask yourself, are you really willing to spend the rest of your life with a woman like that? i know she's your best friend, but i think marrying someone like that will ruin your life- i dont think she's the one for you

the letter is too nice. it seems like you have no reason to be nice what about this

"Hey, I really would like my dvds back. I really don't want to be reminded of you and that's something that keeps popping up in my mind. I don't want to see you. At first I really did think that at some point we could try to be friends - but seeing as your respect for me seems to stretch to only answering 1 question before ignoring me once again, i'm not willing to deal with that. If I were to see you, I couldn't promise that I could keep my temper.

So anyway, here's my address, post them to me:

Thanks"

if you still feel this way years later, are you planning to act on it? or just hide it within yourself?

afonselaca, can u elaborate a little more on your situation and how u guys got back together? i think everyone browsing this forum would love to know, did u use NC? did u make mistakes etc

i think your post got cut off?

don't let just that silly text make all your work for 7 weeks go down the drain. it might hurt for the moment right now as u just got the text not that long ago, but that moment of hurt should really phase away and u'll be back where you were before you even got that text

feel free to text back, but i'd be suspicious too (though that can be wrong too) but just text back like the above poster said, just dont give ANY feedback if there's another girl in you life, despite the fact that you don't have one. keep her guessing, unless you tottally want her OUT of her life, then just don't text back at all

from my experience it's because some girls just like to know that they can have you, without actualy committing to you. i guess just like guys.

dont fall into her trap and just let it go, she's not worth it