MrKadash

I always have a good time when I'm around a girl who is being cat-called. I've never done it and never would because it's lame. But a couple of weeks ago a girl was coming out of a hair salon by a strip mall so she was looking pretty good... Some joker yelled out of his car at her as I was walking a little behind her. She seemed to ignore it but I had to chime in. "The sun must have been in that dude's eyes..... he needed a closer view before he opened his mouth." She got this 'I can't believe he just said that' look -- those looks are the best. I kept a straight face as long as I could. She was a good sport and we walked and talked for a couple of minutes.

I went into a clothing store the other day, and mind you I'm no spring chicken anymore, but there was an early 20 something folding clothes in the particular area I was shopping. I commented to her how I had a room full of clothes at home that needed folding since she was so good at it. She laughed and we had a couple minute dialogue. I wasn't looking for anything, so I was light and she seemed comfortable and nice. I just try to notice something someone is doing and make a quirky turn on it. It's a good ice-breaker.

An uptight guy would definitely find it flirty and offensive.

I agree with that assessment. I've known girls to pull that stuff with no money involved, and always got a laugh. I turn it around on the girl though -- a buddy of mine jokingly (I assumed) offered $ to a girl in a club once to take her top off. I said desperate times call for desperate measures or something to that effect which was a slam on her -- if I remember she punched me for that one...

If what you did constitutes being a player then the word has been redefined as far as I'm concerned.

Wow, I could write a book. Especially from HS through college, not since. I guess when your younger (in my case anyway) one is still immature enough to think it is a proactive way of getting the girl to see what they are missing.... As I got older I realized I needed to show the girl that I was better than the next guy through actions and words.

Absolutely one of the first things I look for or notice.

Just an update.... I saw her this morning and we exchanged hello's. I didn't attempt futher conversation, and went about my business. She came up to me about 15 minutes later and asked if I had plans tonight, which I did, but I suggested tomorrow night -- she obliged. So I guess the sun does rise in the west once in awhile.

Thanks for the replies. We're not in a relationship and I don't play games. I have only seen her a couple of times/week (non-date), and phone her maybe once other than that to chat.

Put me in the hair and face category also. I guess it's the first impression thing...

It seems I'm the one that takes the bull by the horns. I've only known this girl three weeks, but she has always shown interest when I'm around and we enjoyed our date 10 days ago or so. But I'm the one who calls, I'm the one who initiates contact. I don't play games, but am considering acting like I don't care on Friday when I know I will see her again because all the initiating is getting old fast. I wouldn't consider this a relationship, so why the fuss on my part. I guess I want her to get the impression that I have other things going on (which I do) and my life doesn't hinder whether I talk to her or not. Someone give me the anti-stupidity pill please....

Just curious how you feel after this scenario. You have shown some interest in a guy you've known for a few weeks and he is always very friendly and seems to go out of his way to talk to you whenever he is around. You see him at least once a week, and you have gone out once and had a seemingly decent time. On this particular day, however, he is around you for awhile but doesn't say two words to you for whatever reason. Not even a "hi" or "goodbye." What goes through your mind? And no, I haven't done that...

I try to make an impression on a girl through my words, facial expressions (smiling, eye contact), and body language that will tell her that I am glad to have her nearby. In a subtle way of course...

I think if a guy tries to make you laugh or if you notice him being funny without looking like he's trying too hard (or too hard for that matter), then that's a decent indication.

She didn't recognize you ----

You should have stayed with the grunge look. That's been my problem all along! I gotta remember that. I would chalk that up to the preverbial "oh well."

Sounds like guys might get easily attached to her and reveal their feelings early on. Play it cool and confident and I think you will do fine. Good luck.

I think that's exactly the issue. When I told her a relationship was optional at the moment she looked at me like I was high on narcotics. I said what you don't believe me and she said "not entirely." I'll let you all know what happens.

I asked to see her again, and she agreed, but whether or not it will happen soon - who knows. Like I said before, I asked her out back in early October and got a yes, and just finally got with her. She is extremely attractive with a nice personality, but said something curious to me. She said dating was overrated due to the nature of emotions that guys had brought out to her in the past. I asked her why she dated then, and her response was to "pass the time." I guess I will call her an enigma for now. I really have never met one quite like her. Trying to decide whether it's worth the effort or challenge. I'm one to linger, so only time will tell.

why did u feel weird just because her daughter was there - u should have just being yerself and saved anything 'non-child' related for another time. hey, now-a-days there are a ton of single moms and single dads and they can always get alone time. i would have loved it if that was me.

I didn't feel weird - I have two children myself - but it was inordinately difficult or frustrating to make certain conversation I would normally have if we were alone. I waited almost eight weeks to meet with her (normally I wouldn't do that) and had no idea when I would get another chance, so I felt this was an opportunity for an impression I couldn't pass up. I just misjudged the effect her daughter would have on my ability to connect with her the way I wanted to, if that makes sense. I guess one of the best things about life is you continue to learn lessons, no matter your age or what you've been through.

I think it's weird to bring a child along if she sees you as potentially more than a friend. A child doesn't need to see her mother flirting with someone who is essentially a stranger. Even if it's not blatant flirting, a child just doesn't need to observe those dynamics.

Believe me, that crossed my mind ahead of time, but as I stated earlier my desire to spend some time with her won out. You hit the nail on the head with your 'dynamics' observation, albeit maybe a lack therof that made me out to be someone I'm not. I allowed it to happen, so I'm taking my medicine for awhile...

Well, the girl I have been wanting to see for the last two months agreed to meet me for breakfast a couple of days ago, but she could only meet if she brought her five year old daughter. I didn't mind as it was an opportunity that I felt I should take.

Didn't go so well. Her daughter was sweet and I didn't feel initially that it was going to be a big deal. As a few minutes went by I realized my personality wasn't the same as it would have been if it were the two of us -- does that make sense? I felt kind of 'handcuffed' as to what I felt free to say and act. As a result of my insecurity my friend 'pegged' me as a "quiet, serious" individual which I know I'm not.

So, I did something I never do, and sent her a text last night apologizing for my lack of interesting behavior but felt I needed to stay close to the vest due to her adorable daughter. I said that I hoped I could have a re-do sometime. She responded that there were no worries and to have a great weekend.

I guess the point of this post was for the guys to consider this - which I knew already but jumped at an opportunity to see someone - that a child accompanying a first encounter maybe isn't such a good idea. Sheesh.

I have the same problem with male customer service people. I can never tell if its being friendly because its their job or an interest in me.

There you go. I always assume it's the former in those scenarios.

- She told me she was "sort of seeing this guy" during conversation. But that its "not gonna last". She didn't use the word "boyfriend" and theyve been out 6 or 7 times.

In my opinion, this needs to be resolved before a relationship between the two of you can go further. You shouldn't have to settle for "wishy washy." I would try and talk to her about it and find out how serious her feelings are for this guy.

BTW, great name Diggler. Cracked me up...

Or she might respect you for going for it. Either way you started with nothing - could end up with something or still nothing. No big deal.

I smile, make small talk, talk about the weather....and yes I get asked out on occasion.

I wasn't aware anybody asked... Just messing.

She has more than likely done what she does with everyone. The thing with employees of a company or business is they are paid to make the customer feel welcome and important (in some regard). I try to take things like that with a grain of salt unless something is obvious or I feel they wouldn't do or say something they did with anybody else.

He'd probably like to have sex with you.

Probably wasn't the word I would have used....

Agree with previous poster, also would add that you should have zero expectations. Just because a girl looks at you and smiles, or gives your ego a nudge every so often, doesn't mean she is worth falling head over heels for. Gosh, if I got attached every time a girl smiled at me or was nice to me, I would be made out of Velcro. *(that was NOT meant to be egotistic)*

Do a search on body language, and learn how to read it. Usually, a woman who flirts with many men does it for attention. Next time she flirts with you, yawn or look at your watch. Then, watch her reaction. See if she cares. If she does care, that means she's not getting what she wants which is attention. Next time you see her, laugh with her and flirt back. Again, see how she responds both verbally (words) and physically (body language). You can have her if you beat her at her own game.

Agree with this one. I always used to (still do) act distant at times or like it's no big deal to me and waiting to see how she reacted. Who knows, she might seek you out.....

What do you mean by talking "smack"? I always associate that with badmouthing people?

No, never badmouthing. Maybe smack was the wrong word to use. I try to use spontaneous, clever one liners to get a reaction out of a girl or to spawn some back and forth banter. I never get insulting, and usually get great reactions from most women. I guess I just had an off night last.