fierygal
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Hello All. I have a problem with my Bf, we have been together for 3 years and we live together. I have wanted us to get married, but he is not able to commit, he doesnt say that he wont, just that he " isnt sure". He isnt happy where we live and wants us to move to a new area, he isnt happy with his job either and feels that his life is not the way he wants it to be. However we live in my house, I am more financially secure than him and basically have more money and I love my job. I feel that unless he commits to me ie, marriage that I cant risk my own security by upping sticks and potentially having to pay for the life he wants, then if he decides that I am not the woman for him then being dumped, potentially penniless, without friends and familyand not able to support myself. Need some input, What would you do. Please help!!! Confused
To be or not to be ?
in Breaking Up Advice
Posted
Thanks for replying so promptly, I guess I know in my heart that I shouldnt compromise myself, but I also dont want to compromise him. I want us BOTH to want the same thing, simultaneously I guess. He is a wonderful, genuine person, he has done a lot of soul searching recently through self improvement books, CDs and seminars and I think he is questioning a lot of things in his life at the moment. I know that I dont fit his picture of an ideal women, he likes brunette, celtic looking women who are tall and slim, and I am short, cuddly (Not fat, but rounded at the edges), homely and blonde!!! Part of me wants to just let him go, then I guess I would know then whether he really loves me, as they say " If you love someone let them go, if they dont come back they were never yours to begin with, and if they do, theyll be yours forever".
I just hate all the indecision at the moment, but then if I gave him an ultimatum he has already said that he will leave. I am 32, and my biological clock is ticking...god, I HATE getting older. I feel that I cant afford to waste my time in a go nowhere relationship. But without sounding like a cliche, I really love him and give him 100% support, and I can see his potential as a great husband and father. Sometimes love SUCKS !!!!](*,)