kawaiico

Thanks Annie.

SO true... But still. So hard to accept.

OMG!!! So here's the update everyone... He dumped me. HE dumped ME!!! He told her about us, and that night he came over and said that he was "scared and confused" and that he needed some time alone to figure things out. He said that he's never felt this way about anyone- and it scares the hell out of him. I don't understand this. I don't understand men at all!!!! I said: "This is what people spend their lives looking for... THIS... What you and I have found!" I'm completely blindsided and devastated. If anything, I thought I had just cause to break up with HIM... But it never once occurred to me, that he could turn the tables on me. We were/are VERY much in love. This is so bizarre to me.

You guys are so smart. Thank you so much for your concern. After he helped her with the computer thing the other night, I was really upset- and I asked him if I meant so little to him that he was willing to lose me rather than tell her... And he said that he would never let that happen. But IT'S HAPPENING! I was so specific... I told him that if he wants to be with her- than just to tell me now. He was appalled and swore up and down that he could never be with her again. And so I said- if he wants to just maintain a friendship with her, he would have to start being honest with her... So far- he hasn't. Today I went to his work to say hi, but I heard him around the corner with customers- so I waited in a chair in the hall. About a minute later she walked by, smiled at me (genuinely) and went in to talk to him. I heard her say "*****'s in the hallway" and he said "oh is she?". Like he doesn't know me very well... And for all she knows, he doesn't! I left and fended off a panic attack. And then he sent an email: "Hey, were you out in the hall a few minutes ago?" And I wrote: "Oh yeah... That was me. Gosh, how'd you know?! I was at the county building, and walking to the bank so I just stopped by to say hi on my way. But then I heard you talking to customers, so I sat down to wait until you weren't busy. It didn't quite go as planned." So far no response from him. He's a shrinking violet... So terrified of confrontation that he hides and shuts down.

That's such a good point. I even confronted him about whether or not he's "keeping his options open". But he denied that, and I really believe him. I think he's actually just totally scared- and not man enough to even tell her. It took him months to finally work up the courage to break up with her.

It makes me so sad... We've been dating for two months now. He was in a stagnant, unhappy relationship with her- and we became involved immediately after they broke up. But he STILL hasn't told her about me! He says it's because he doesn't want to hurt her- and because they've been friends for so long (long before they were romantically involved), he worries that she won't be able to handle it. I've really tried to be cool about it, but I'm losing my patience. She calls him, and emails him, and he helped her with a computer problem at her house a few days ago... Do I really need to just put up with this?!?! We can't hold hands on the street, if we're not out of town- and forget kissing!!! But he's so affectionate when he doesn't think there's a chance she'll find out. I'm sick of living this way! I'm considering telling her myself! ](*,)