This is my first official post on this site but i've been reading around for a while.
I'd like to say that I am 16 turning 17 in just a few weeks, and at the moment I'm pretty open about being bi. I'm open the degree that all my friends that i'm close to know, and anyone who i've spoke to in reference to any kind of going out, hooking up, etc. knows. I've had a few guy relationships, (you know those silly things that most teenagers end up in) and one really serious girl relationship, with several (fine. alot) of female "hook ups". My mom has joked around about me being a lesbian, has seen me making out w/ my Ex girlfriend, and but i never told her about my sexuality nor has she asked.
After my last boyfriend (a little over a year ago) I have been pretty much done with guys in the sense that i haven't dated any guy since. Infact, there's only been maybe one or 2 guys that i've actually "liked" since then.
I'm a theater buff, and I'm not very girly...i still wear t-shirts from the little boy section...I guess I can be "labeled" (as much as i desppise labels) as a typical tom boy.
I've been working @ this Bingo Hall in my town and have been there since i was 13. Since I've been there, i've been working with this girl who just so happens to be a Lesbian, and very open about it. She dresses from head to toe in guy clothes, but is one of the most sensual and emotional people I know.
I guess you can say that i've looked up to her as I was growing up, but recently, all I want to do is be with her. She and I went to the Gay Pride Parade together, it was our first official outting that wasn't related to work. We flirted alot, just as we do at work, but while we were walking around she let me hold her hand -- when i let go she even grabbed my hand. Needless to say, after this experience I'm even more head over heels for her since she somewhat showed interest in me.
She and I spend many countless nights on the phone, and NONE of our conversations last shorter than 2 hours.
She declared herself as a lesbian when she was 17, and tells me i remind her very much of her self. Only problem is she tells me that after all the girls she's been with, she's positive I'm not bi, a lesbian, or anything other than straight. This upsets me, because I know that i'm VERY MUCH attracted to girls, lately it's been more than I am to guys.
She's 25. that's the other problem. the 9 year age difference.
She likes me, she told me she does, but she said she wont do anything sexual with me until i'm 18 (im not copmlaining) but she also said shes scared because to her "im straight"
I've always loved females and been attracted to them, my first intimate hook up was with a girl....
I'm just confused. I've been told I'm just looking up to her as a big sister figure, or, that my EX just tainted my outlook on guys, but.. I'm so into girls. I'm constantly told I'm undergoing a phase, but i seriously doubt it.
How do i talk to her and tell her that I'm positive about my orientation, and that I'm positive I'm attracted to her in so much more than a "big sister" way. How do I tell everyone that I'm truly attracted to girls and I'm sure its not a phase. How do I come out more w/o flaunting it, and having it define me? Should i forget about her completely considering theres a 9 year age difference. I'm SOO connfused and I just want advice from someone who's NOT trying to convince me i like boys more than girls....](*,)
