emmyj

To Wayne, yes I wanted to be with my husband, (I deeply love him and never had any intention of doing such an awful thing to him) had put aside my feelings for this other man when he married my friend. It was only after I had left my hubby over the porn and women calling that he came to me to comfort me and after that it was revealed that he liked me too. I still want my hubby even now hence the original post. Strange as that sounds The old slipper comment was meant to sound more like we know each other so well and I don't know the other guy anywhere near as much as I shld considering. Obviously everyone has their secrets but I have told my hubby things no-one else on earth knows so we are close in most respects (except this one ) Also even tho I don't want to be a single mum that DOESN"T mean I dont want my kids! I was merely trying to confer the idea that I F***ed up big time and don't like what the consequences may be. As to wasting his time, it was him looking at porn and having other women calling among the miriad of other things he put me thru that resulted in me going outside our relationship in the first place not him doing it because I "control" him. I have no problem with a healthy liking for fantasy and variety in our sex life however when he was choosing to look at porn while his 6 month pregnant wife was laying in the other room asking "what's wrong with me?" and he was tossing off over women he cld never have it ends up eroding a persons self confidence. Now I know I made a mistake, a major one, and now I'm trying to deal with it. This is more an issue of problems at home that have turned to outside help I feel and has escalated from there. I've already broken it off with the other guy b4 and we still keep coming back to each other. I have left him again since my original post taking the advice of some ppl on here to try and sort thru my marriage issues first but this is hard when my hubby isn't willing to be involved in sorting things out. There IS nothing wrong as far as he is concerned. So I'm at a loss.......

it's not just abt porn, there is sooooo much more to my story it's to difficult to put it all down. My first post was the boiled down basics. Effectively I've known my bf longer than I knew my hubby and have liked him since we first met but he was in a relationship, we lost contact for a while then he got together with my friend as "bed buddies" it was all sex to them but especially to her. Unfortunately she fell pregnant after 2 weeks and he did the honourable thing and married her. He has never been entirely happy and she has always accused him of cheating so he got the idea if he was being accused he may as well do it, this after 7 yrs of marriage. I was in a relationship at the time they got together otherwise he wld have asked me out. So somehow we just kept missing each other. I feel like he's who I shld have been with but my hubby is like an old slipper, comfy and I know where I am with him. I do love him and I know ppl say it's not possible to love 2 ppl but here I am....... I'm not a big risk taker and am terrified of being a single mum of 3. I know if hubby finds out he'll leave (and frankly I wouldn't blame him) but although bf says he will be there for me I know that a lot of guys say that sort of thing then nvr come thru with the goods. My biggest prob is that I stand to lose everything but could also gain alot. I don't deal well with change tho and if I left hubby a LOT wld change. I wld also lose my friend and thats hard too. For my part I have been with hubby 6 yrs now and 5 of those we have fought over other women ringing him, watching porn and the way it makes me feel degraded (to which I was initially told "deal with it!"), trust issues as he wld constantly tell me one thing to find he'd done something else. And I also caught him discussing fantasies etc with women online, which he said was just a bit of fun but he had nvr told me these things. On top of that he had a crush on a well known celebrity and during an argument he deliberatly tried to hurt me by going into explicit detail abt what he wanted to do with her and told me he'd leave me for someone who even just looked like her! I left him at one point over it all and 3 days later he rang begging me to come back, promising it would all stop and it's been a while now but every now and then I find things on the pc that he claims must be from innocent pop-ups..... As you can see my life is rather complicated and I still havent really delved but yes I've had counselling (hubby refused to go) and am at a crossroads. I want my cake and to be able to eat it!! So confused.........](*,)

ok I'm new here and there is no way to sugarcoat my situation so I won't even try! I'm married and have been having an affair with a friends hubby for over 12 months now, it started because I had been having serious issues with my hubby and his addiction to porn and the fact that some woman was ringing saying she was his gf. I know that was no real excuse but the guy was a shoulder to lean on that started flirting with me and I felt wanted and needed for the first time in ages. Anyways I've fallen in love with him but kept it to myself and gone on with my marriage as tho nothing happened except the other day my bf tells me he wants to leave his wife and take the kids from both marriages and be together, that he loves me. I didn't know what to say to that so told him "if only wishes were possible" he is adamant it IS going to happen but I'm not sure I want it to. There is no gaurantee things would work and I already feel bad enough abt what happened without that. Problem is I can't get him out of my head and keep wondering...... I know I'm sure to cop some flak over the infedelity thing but whats ur honest opinion on what I shld do?](*,)