Hi... man you know I totally feel for you and I have been in the same position many times. Honestly, as much as it sucks there is really no way that you can manipulate a woman into liking you. If it seems like girls always go for your friend, you might want to consider whether or not between the two of you, you are more active in adding new friends to your group or he is.
I have been in this scenario - with my brother of all people! There was a girl at this party who seemed really smart and sophisticated and was pretty - at least attractive. She talked up a storm with me and I felt like things were going really well. Well it turns out she (who was probably about 2 years my junior) got into it with my brother and started itching (he's 12 YEARS my junior) and our little conversation dropped to nothing.
As it was, she was only interested in sex. That's pretty much it. She couldn't clean her apartment worth a damn, wasn't really all that smart, ended up being a bit of a drug user and spent a lot of time looking nice in wealthy parts of town trying to pick guys up. She played a good game.
The point being that women (and men also, but not generally as much) really enjoy attention. If they don't have to work for it, they take advantage of it. If they do have to work for it, some like that sort of challenge - but it's often easier to go for the open guy - and if they don't have to commit to anything in order to get that kind of attention - so much the better!
If your friend is not emotionally available half the time, that presents a challenge. It sets up a boundary to the amount of attention that these girl will receive. Girls like that - if they win a guys heart it makes them feel attractive and special.
BUT all in all it sounds to me like you are both probably attractive in your own way - its that the girls want BOTH of your attention. And think about THAT for a second. Isn't it a bit odd that a girl would want to have a dating relationship with one of you and yet have an emotionally close relationship with the other one?
That's not a good scene... I mean how would you feel about having a girlfriend who had all these guys around who she'd cry on whenever her boyfriend pissed her off. It's just a little out of whack if you ask me.
So I'd drop the following advice and confirm a couple of things that the girls have said. It's not about looks but about how you make someone feel... and at the same time, knowing that all you have to do is make a girl feel happy to be with you should be a warning sign!!!
Let me put it this way... how do guys feel about girls who give it up physically all over the place? Do guys take them seriously? Do guys respect them? Would any guy want a serious relationship with them? Mature guys respect modesty as a boundary of the self - you know, a girl who knows her value doesn't just give herself away to get attention. That's ALL WOMAN and you know that her head is in control of her body and her emotions - she gives it when she wants and she holds her own when she wants. It's not that she wants to control everybody else around her, but she knows what is hers and she is not afraid to piss guys off by letting THEM know where they end and SHE begins.
Flip that around, emotional connections for women are as vibrant and life-changing as physical connections are for men. If you don't set emotional boundaries for yourself and give it up to any girl who asks for attention, you are kindof being emotionally 'easy' - you gotta knock that off right now.
I had an ex-girlfriend who dumped me, yet when I came back to get my things she was sort-of sorry and played the whole 'we can still be friends' game... that's like a guy saying to an ex- "yeah we aren't dating anymore, but I can still kiss you from time to time, right?"
So we are friends, but we don't go to coffee as much or have deep conversations about how she feels and all that stuff... and when she tries to, I ask her where her boyfriend is, and why she isn't talking to him about this stuff. Or I say I don't have time because I don't! Fact of the matter is that girls who go for looks/sex often get stuck with guys who are emotional vaccuums... they work and work trying to squeeze the littlest tiniest bit of emotion from a dry stone... and they love talking to someone who gives it up without them having to shell over any of the physical goods or commitment...
I'm not saying play games with girls and stonewall in order to make them chase you - because that's lame too. I'm saying you have to be a man and set some boundaries for your relationships - and the biggest problem guys have with doing that is that they underestimate the significance that emotional support and attention has for women. They like it as much as you like a gentle caress - so know your gift and try not to be so emotionally available to every girl who shows up.
If you set healthy boundaries it also gives you a sense of self-respect and it makes other folks appreciate it more when you do open up and share a bit of yourself.
And if they don't care about that - forget it. They maight be way too selfish to have a serious relationship anyways.
I'd agree with the poster above who questions your friendship with the guy also - I mean you seem to care a lot about whether your friend gets hurt - sounds like he's got no emotional ante for the hand... I say don't play that game with him. You need a better wingman - and you know what? Here's a funny idea...
Get these girls who like your friend so much to be YOUR wingman! Have them help you meet girls - DON'T rely on your guy friend to do that until he's married.
