I recently observed a complex relationship dynamic between my boyfriend and a doctoral student at the university. He works with students on ethical research permissions.
Despite being acquainted with her, my bf hesitates to openly acknowledge their friendship or personal connection. This lack of transparency raises questions about the nature of their relationship. When I had visited his university to attend a lecture ( he was working) I saw them talking for quite some time outside ( and the way she was talking, it seemed like she knew him quite well) and they were exchanging numbers too. Then they chatted a bit, suddenly becoming quiet and he walked off outside the campus and the girl was walking with him. Out of suspicion, I followed them and saw that they weren't speaking much while talking and disappeared around food outlet/tube station.
He returned 3 hours later alone and when I asked him where he was, he said he was outside but didn't elaborate where and with whom.
The situation took a turn 2 months after this meet up when my friend who also works in the same office as my bf said that the same student had visited the office looking for my boyfriend. She asked if he was still working in the department and expressed distress over unanswered texts, claiming she had been texting him but he was not replying.
My friend told my bf about her visit but he didn't say why she came looking for him. Eventually, I asked him and he said things like she is "just a student", he knows her since 2018, how he knows her and 2 other students etc. I asked him again and he said it was about a committee report and even said that he heard how she was living with a guy. After that incident, each time the office door would be open, he would go and close it and even told my friend that he's now very wary of who comes looking for him.
He never mentioned that they went out and he also didn't say he knows her personally. He has mentioned almost every female colleague he's gone out with but with this one, he never does. Also, how can he hear about her living with a guy when he knew her personally? She would tell him herself if that was the case.
I am not satisfied with these answers because of this was only about a committee report then why didn't she send him an email and if it was only professional, why was she so distressed over lack of replies to her text?
He has continued to send her career events and resources and two others.
Am I suspecting him for no reason or was he hooking up with her or something?
