I have been married happily for 22 years, together 26 years. I have no complaints in my marriage. We are best friends and have a great sex life.
I recently was plugging in all our devices in our kitchen before heading out to the gym. When I plugged in my husband's tablets, a picture of a nude woman popped up on the screen. I thought it was odd, so I opened the internet and looked at his history and it was Def not a pop up. He had clicked on 15 pics of this same woman from a free internet site.
He walked into the kitchen and could tell I was upset and asked what was wrong. I said why did this pic pop up on your screen? He said oh, it's probably a pop-up. I said no, it is not. You clicked on 15 pictures of this girl. He finally said, ok, yes I did. I said why? He said, I have been physically exhausted the past three days. I really wanted to have sex with you, but could not stay awake to even try. So this morning I was looking at these pics as I was really frustrated with myself. I was like, that doesn't even make sense. I asked if he was paying for the site or talking to the women and he said absolutely not. I believe him in that respect. He also said be loves me and our relationship and loves having sex with me. We have a very active sex life so this isn't about him not getting laid.
I get many women have no prob with porn, but I am not ok with this. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel old, unattractive and not good enough, even though I know none of that is true. Side note, my husband would be very unhappy if he knew I was looking secretly at porn online.
I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for. I know men and women are very different. I'm just trying to understand and process all of this and know I'm not alone.
Thanks for listening.
