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What's the lawyer for though? You think she'll try to keep them from me as revenge if i leave?

I mean that she just works and sleeps. She might give them a hug or share a few words with them. Then back to work or back to bed. I forgot to mention shes been on anti depressants most of her adult life so i don't know if most women would understand her. Its a little hard to think rationally here as i am heart broken and feel unappreciated and disrespected after all the heart and soul i put into this relationship. She definitly taught me never to love like this again. This is the 3rd long term relationship where i get used for years, then they get bored and throw me away.

Would like a womans perspective on this please.. let's say you got into a fight with your partner, and you want to end things after a 10 year relationship with 2 kids. But you still want the husband to stay and take care of the kids because you work over 40 hours a week, and sleep the rest of the time.. but don't want a romantic relationship anymore. You choose to give him just enough friendly attention so he still thinks there is a chance but no romance. Is there more chances you will want him back if he turns around and leaves you with everything and not help at all, or continue to stay and try to win your love back? Would love honest opinions without judgement. Thank you. I feel once a woman loses romantic feelings, it's over forever right? I should probably get out while i still have my sanity?

Yes their mom is being selfish and ending a perfectly good relationship. I feel bad for them. But i wont neglect them and they will still see me. She needs to stop using, and taking advantage of me as another poster mentioned. That's the biggest issue here even if she decides to stay with me. These things need to be addressed.

I never told her about the apps. She found out by accident since Google sent one of my reddit posts to her email for what ever reason. No idea why that is but gotta love google! Honestly if she said don't touch me i wouldn't touch her. Stop making it seem like I'm a rapist. She basically made it seem like, "ok I'll do this for you cause i love you and want to make you happy but i could care less about this". That's what i meant. So you think it's ok never to have sex in a relationship it seems. Nice. You seem pretty ignorant. Reminds me of my dad. That's why we don't talk anymore. Black and white with him. And she let's me stay because she is using me! I'm an amazing father and husband who is being greatly underappreciated and used. I will likely leave if this continues though.

Finally! Someone on my side. Thank you for being a critical thinker and not just automatically saying im the bad guy because I'm a man.. i agree with you. She is more wrong here than i am and she is lucky I'm still holding on and trying. Not for much longer though. I don't need her money and i don't feel like taking the kids because that will give her freedom and i don't think she deserves it with the way she is acting. I just don't know if me leaving and not helping with anything will benefit our relationship where she will realise she loves me and needs me, or it will make her hate me even more. But i can't take her cold attitude towards me much longer. I'm trying my best to win her love back even though i know she's wrong for me, and she continues to take advantage. She did say she would rather me not be on dating apps, and would go to a couples counsler in the future. So maybe there's still something there.

I started paying for everything last month. I use to pay for food and other misc things. She would get the rent and kids private schooling. I live off assets/investments so i don't need a standard job thankfully.

No i had to be bossy because she wasn't doing anything other then working. Not helping with anything. Certain things need to be said but i agree, i could have said it in a less dominant manner. I learned my lesson and am working on it.. i suggested couples therapy yesterday and she said maybe but not right now. Maybe there's a chance. I hope i can last that long. I also realised I'm not emotionally ready for the dating stuff and asked her if she wanted me to get rid of it and she said yes. So possible there is still something there.. i don't know if we need to go the legal route since she is not kicking me out and using me as a sitter and house keeper. I know if i take them away she will have all the time in the world to date and chill, while i take care of the kids like a sucker. That hurts big time. I have things i want to do also. I'm thinking of doing the classic man thing to do in this relationship and just dump everything on her including the kids and not help with anything. She'll probably hate my guts after but i feel im on a sinking ship anyway.

Her side of the story what she keeps repeating to me is, i told her we should go seperate ways initially after the fight, and she took that to heart... and while we were on our month break after i said those things i didn't mean, she decided to put herself first. That's what she's doing now. So all the 90% good things i did for her, are all erased by every little mean thing i did to her, like tell her she doesn't spend enough time with the kids, made her have sex when she didn't want to. She never wanted to. and made her feel small with the things i said. Never communicated to me through out our relationship how much it bothered her. Didn't even give me a chance to improve. Now I'm trying but i can't stand her cold attitude towards me. Don't know how much longer i can take this. Nobody seems to care about my side of the story that I've been neglected heavily by her and still willing to stick with her. Just said a few mean things out of anger and now she's punishing me big time.

I'm not allowed to have self worth and respect for myself because I'm a man right? Is that what it is? Always take the woman's side and let the man suffer. What about she looks at my point of view? She's being selfish now and will lose me because of it. I don't need a therapist. I did offer her couples therapy yesterday and she said maybe.. but not now. So maybe there's a chance. I just don't know if i can survive her cold attitude towards me for much longer. If it wasn't for the kids, i would have been gone since day one.

I have another place i rent out to people. I can just go there. That's the thing. To me she tells me a different story. She wants me to stay and take care of the kids. Not sure if i should continue doing that though as it seems she has all the leverage. Thinking maybe i should leave her with everything. Either way it seems like I'm on a sinking ship. And i asked her if she wants me to get off the dating app and she said yes. Maybe there's still a chance? I also realized I'm not emotionally ready for a new gf.

No its not a joke. I believe therapists can infuence weak minded people in certain ways and even cloud their view.. i never said i was perfect. I can take blame. Did not deserve to lose her though.. Sex is apart of a relationship and needs to be a regular thing. It's not fair, especially to men, to have it taken away for long periods of time. Means a vital part of the relationship is missing and can break at any moment. 30 minutes of sex once a week to make your husband happy that you supposesldy love and care about is not unreasonable and not the end of the world. In the grand scheme of things, i know im right.

Very sad to hear that. Well she wants me to live here to take care of the kids while she works so i don't want to leave if I'm not being forced.. she told me we are not together anymore so i am to assume I'm free to date. She even told the therapist that she hopes i find someone else and leave. Honestly thats not what she has been telling me though. She told me she wants me to wait many years until she decides to have sex again and doesnt want me to leave or be with other women. Tells me she still has a drop of love for me left. Or not.

Thats a shame.. i feel if i get another gf, she will come running back in typical female fashion. I actually got some meaningful connections in the last few days. Hope something comes out of them. Its my only chance to get her back i think. You say not to blame the therapist but i feel it's actually the therapist that started this whole mess. What ever she tells her on a weekly basis has given my girl the confidence to challenge me and this is why most relationships end in divirce in the US. Now look at the mess she created. She lost a great good looking guy who cooks, cleans, takes care of kids and treats her like a princess. "Omg he sometimes tells me what to do and demands sex once a week! How dare he!!! Hes so toxic!" Its not going to be as easy to find another gem like myself and this therapist did this to her i believe. i used an old baby monitor thats still in the room for years that we never disconnected if you must ask on how i listened in. Yes I could have been a great detective. Lol

Ouch. That hurts. But she doesn't want me to leave. She rather me take care of the kids instead of a sitter.

Nothing. I have other places i can live but while she wants me to stay, i think it's best for me and the kids to stay. It just hurts seeing her everyday because i still want her but she doesnt want me. Hence why I'm trying to get over her as soon as possible.

It's her place. And she works crazy hours, and needs someone to watch the kids. And drive and feed them. She does almost nothing for them. She rather me do it then a sitter, which is why she still hasn't asked me to leave. She also loves me like family she said and wants me to be her friend. I'm petrified of this because I'm almost sure she will find someone in the future and i will be the biggest sucker in history.. Im only looking elsewhere to get over her faster because i know the day is coming where she will break my heart even more if i don't get over her as fast as possible. Not the first time I've been dumped so i know i need an outlet to save my nerves.

Yes living together. She wants to continue doing it so she doesn't have to get a sitter. And she was hoping we could be friends. But I can't give her what she wants when she won't give me what I want. That's another issue she has with me. She doesn't like my whole you do something for me, I do something for you mentality. But she never did anything for me lol. So you can see where I'm coming from. She always put her self first and played the victim.. I just recently went on dating apps because she checked out. Like you said. She said she doesn't want me like that anymore. What am I suppose to do?

Hey guys, would like some advice. I'll try to keep it as simple as possible. I'm a 38 year old male aries. Gf is 36 yo female scorpio.. together for 10 years. Share 2 beautiful kids. Ages 10 and 5. We are not the best match personality wise but we made it work for this long. 2 months ago, we got into one of our rare fights. She said some stuff, I said some stuff. I'm an impulsive aries, so I say messed up stuff I don't always mean out of anger but then take it back and apologize. Learned my lesson after all this. Normally we somehow make up, usually she will make the first move, but not always.. this time I was really hurt and so was she, and we played the silent treatment. She was waiting for me to apologize which I did a month later because I realized i was wrong but during our silent time, she fell out of love and started remembering every bad thing I did and didn't do. Honestly they weren't even that bad compared to what other men do. She's just referring to me being kind of bossy and dominant but I never did it in a disrespectful way or for no reason. Everything i did was to improve our life with the kids. I never cheat or flirt, I do 100% of the cooking and cleaning, and take care of the kids as I'm retired and financially stable. She is a pharmacist that started in a new place and has to work many hours due to senority including overnights. So she is very tired and sleeps most of the time. Doesnt do anything else except pay most of the bills and sleep. I'm surprised I took this crap this long but I'm super resilient and really love her. She is also heavily medicated on anti depressants for most of her life.. i told her she doesn't need to work and to spend time with her family but she is scared to be jobless and uninsured. All her problems stem from her work I believe. Recently I over heard her conversation with her therapist.(hope I don't get flamed too bad for this) How she is super happy being friends with me but doesn't want anymore sex. For me that's not enough. I'm not the friend zone type of guy. This therapist is evil btw. The whole time my girl is telling her our problems, this snake is telling her to find a new relationship. Each time my gf tells her she is not interested and wants me to do that first and leave because she doesn't want to hurt me that way, the therapist continues to insist on her finding new love. Unfortunately I can't do anything about this as she will for sure hate me for listening in(I did it for my protection and so I don't waste my time.. because I thought there was still a chance for us but clearly she moved on. I know it was wrong and don't want to do it again. But I have all the info I need now) so that is my little gift from God that I got the inside scoop of her mind, but now my question is.. is there anything I can do to make her fall in love with me again? She wants to co parent and be friends but her not sleeping with me is the worst disrespect I can endure. She told the therapist she'll have sex with me in 30 years btw. If I'm willing to be friends with her that long. Brutal I know lol. I also know she will find someone else in the future and I will suffer even more so I need to find someone else faster to get over her. Is there nothing that can be done to make her want to come back? I tried being perfect for a month and treating her even more like a queen then I normally do but I see it wasn't enough. I went back to the silent treatment because I will not be friendzoned. I took over all the bills as well to show her that I am the alpha male that she may or may not need subconsciously. I think that is the biggest issue of our whole relationship at the end of the day weather she wants to admit it or not. If I needed a fully submissive wife, I should have been the bread winner from the start. I just never thought she cared. I know she is toxic for me, but I love her so much and can't let go. I tried dating apps to get my mind off her but I can't stand these fake stuck up women on there. That's why they are all single.. All my long time relationships end like this. I give them my heart, they use me and fall out of love with me after many years and throw me away. This last one taught me to never love so deeply again. So tired of this. In my opinion she is being very selfish and unappreciative she will understand her mistake like the others did but it will be too late by then. I love her so much. All I ever got from her was starfish sex after the kids were born and here I am still trying. I wish there was a way to fix things. But in this messed up world, it would require a miracle. 😔