My friend (we'll call her A for the purpose of this post) and I have been living with our roommate (X) for two months now. We live in a college town with an astronomically high crime rate (drugs, weapons, rape, violence, etc) so being cautious and safe is the #1 priority. When we first moved in, we set some basic rules, such as texting one another to ASK before bringing people over. This way, we could give a heads up while also giving the other two roommates a chance to say they don't want someone over at that time. After a few weeks, X was not following this rule, so A and I spoke with her about it and told her it made us uncomfortable when she brings random people over without even a warning. She promised she "heard" our concerns, but it has continued since then. She brings random men over almost every day, any time of day; she regularly brings men over past 3am, sometimes even as late as 5-6am (I know because they are loud and wake myself and A up). She meets these men all over the place: at bars, online, and through other people, but my other roommate and I usually have never met these men and she herself has usually met them only hours before bringing them over. The other day, I came out of my bedroom and she was at work but her bedroom door was open and there was a random man in there. It was 2pm and that was the first time I had left my room all day, so that's how I found out a guy had spent the night and never left, even after she was gone. I had no clue there was a dude over the entire time. At this point there could be a random man in our apartment at any time and we may not even know it, which makes myself and A beyond uncomfortable. When we had talked with her about it in the past, she claimed that she felt "safer" bringing these men to our apartment rather than going to theirs, but if she doesn't feel safe with these men, why bring them to her apartment and around her roommates? The more time goes on, the more A and I are suspecting she's full of *** and that was just an attempt to get what she wanted from us.
My roommate A and I are at a complete loss and don't know what to do. We don't know how to voice to her that we don't want her bringing home random strangers at all hours of the day and without even asking first without making it seem like we are being too controlling or asking too much. She says "she pays for her room" but all three of us pay to live there, and A and I do not want to finish the next 7 months of the lease under these circumstances. We'd love to tell her to just let us know when people are coming, but we have tried that and she will ask for a couple days and then just starts bringing them unannounced again and everything goes back to the way it was. She also has started leaving our doors unlocked (we live on the ground floor) and A and I are suspecting that she is doing it so that men can come in (though we are not sure; even if that's not the case, that's a seperate issue because you cannot be leaving the doors unlocked).
As of right now, our apartment is not a living space; it is a revolving door of men. It feels like our space has been transformed into a place for her to get laid and the feelings of myself and my other roommate are completely disregarded. A and I feel disrespected and we do not feel comfortable or safe in our own living space. We don't know what to do, and we are both reaching our breaking point. Any and all advice would be appreciated.
