philliesfan0910

39 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I still didnt get answer to this. What does she contributes in terms of finances and why does she thinks she is worth 5k ring?

40 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I still didnt get answer to this. What does she contributes in terms of finances and why does she thinks she is worth 5k ring?

She does play her part financially. She does a lot, but at this point in my life I don't wanna Spend 5k. ill do 4k MAX. When I graduate school, then we can upgrade.

2 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Does your gf have a style in mind?  I think browsing for rings to figure out what she likes and doesn't like should come first and then try and find a ring with that look.  Then price and time frame can come later.  I guess what I am saying is being rigid on how much it should cost is short sighted.  What happens if she falls in love with a ring that costs $3,200?  Will she not want that ring because it doesn't meet some threshold?

  Finances are a big part of a marriage so figuring these things out and seeing how you both view large purchases in life is a big deal. The wedding, a new SUV a house are all things in your future so you can see how figuring out where you both stand on all this matters a lot.

 Lost

she thinks that a $3,000-$4000 ring isn't a "quality diamond"

12 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Have you two even gone looking for rings?  Picking a number out of thin air and then looking for a ring to fit the cost is pretty stupid.  It is like walking up to a used car salesman and stating "I have 5K to spend on a car, what do you have?" 

 Go looking at rings and not just at upscale jewelry stores with sky high overhead. Many small stores do custom work, rework old rings into new works and have a large selection in all kinds of styles and prices.

She is correct that she is going to wear the ring everyday for the rest of her life (hopefully) so she needs to love it but she should love it by appearance not by the cost.

 If you had 100K for a ring would she want a 100K ring?

Lost

We looked together once and the lady asked what my max was and I told her, she she showed me rings in that price range.

7 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

Is she paying rent or bills? Would that be emasculating? Wondering if this is a situation where you will be paying for everything. 

if she payed my bills then yes, that would be emasculating, but I have come to the conclusion that I'm paying for what I can afford right now. If she doesn't like it, then that's just too bad. 

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

Is she buying you a gift worth the same amount ?

not that I know of.

7 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I love my diamond ring. And my then fiancée was able to afford it. In fact he wanted larger and I didn’t. So he didn’t.  I don’t want to upgrade either. But if he couldn’t have afforded what I did want at the time since my focus was on the marriage not the party or the ring I’d have happily enjoyed it - including if it was a family ring (my wedding band is- his was my gift to him ) - and perhaps upgraded later. 
also ask her if she’s willing to chip in to get what she dreams of. Test her priorities. Back when my parents got engaged in the 1950s they told me the tradition was man buys ring and woman buys an engagement gift for the man - traditionally a watch. So why not share the cost of the ring?

I want to share the cost of the ring haha. That's like emasculating

Just now, itsallgrand said:

Ok, just wanted to make sure! 

Her attitude stinks imo. Have you seen this attitude peek out in her before? Careful because marriage to someone who is materialistic often makes for a miserable life. 

She is not materialistic. Her mindset is that this is the ONE time where she cares about what's on her finger. My mindset is this is what I have to offer right now, later on we can upgrade when I'm finished school.

Just now, itsallgrand said:

Is that budget for an engagement ring only? And she doesn't want to get engaged until you can afford a more expensive ring? 

 

yes, lol. the budget is for the ring only. It sounds like she doesn't want to get engaged until I can afford what she wants.

I don't think that. Her stance is just that this is something she will be wearing everyday and in the first time in her life she would actually want to have a real diamond.

My gf and I have been together for 3 years now and just moved in together last January. We have talked about getting engaged in the past and before we moved in I told her by budget was $5,000. Well now will the added cost of rent along with some debt I have, I may only be able to afford $3,000-$4000. On top of all that I'm trying to get through school. We discussed this last week and she really wasn't happy with the idea of me lowering the budget. She said she's worth more than that. She also mentioned that she is willing to wait until I can afford what she wants. I kinda got taken back by that and it made me a little upset. I have grown in my faith( I'm a christian and so is she) and now that we live together I want to be at least engaged. confused on how I should handle this issue.