Kate88

Enhance? Well only in a self depreciating/ harmful way.. Yes, like I've told him, I don't actually have many boundaries.. no sleeping with others, no name calling, no teasing or flirting with other girls. That's it. Surely he can't be so desperate as to need to talk to a teenage girl 🤮 I don't even know anymore.

He still hasn't agreed to stop seeing her. Worst, he blames me by saying I went looking for something to find, it's only a problem because I wanted to find a problem! I feel even more betrayed than ever. I don't want to be with someone like that but I am having panic attacks over the thought of losing him 😭

I've talked to him again, he is saying that his messages were not intended in a romantic or sexual way, I said but they are still flirty! He admitted they were flirty but then turns around and says it's fine?! I've told him I'm sticking to my boundaries - I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone who flirts, someone who doesn't put a stop to others advances and someone who continues to interact with other people in a way that I feel is disrespectful to us. Yes I know, he was texting someone last night and the amount of stress/ anger I felt was awful. He has a flirty personality, he always has. But this with a teenager?! Really makes me feel sick.

No. I mean I guess the decision is whether I believe he wants to, can or will. Whether he wants to, I don't know. The only thing meaningful that could change here is his actions, his words mean nothing to me.

No, I don't want a relationship like that. I want to trust my partner and feel like he's honest and respectful enough to value our relationship. I want someone mature and devoted, who doesn't see the need to act like this.

No, of course not. He thinks I will take things the wrong way. Which is not true. This is the first time in 5yrs I've told him he's crossed a boundary. He admits he lies sometimes, but says it's only to keep me happy.

5yrs, own a house since 2 months before his bday last year. They don't work together as such, but he does work for her every few month at a workplace (they need to message to organise this). No other reasons to worry. I know I don't trust him. I told him not long after I met him I find flirting to be disrespectful to our relationship - I believe you should not be showing interest in others when you are committed. Our relationship has been good, this year we have drifted apart a little but nothing that isn't able to be fixed. He told me when she wanted him to visit her, it wasn't for work, it was a social event. Our communication is usually fine. His job is such that he travels constantly and sees a lot of different people. So no, I don't know where he goes or who he sees each day. He's told me about the majority of the people and places. But clearly not this girl, he says he avoids telling me things sometimes and lies instead. I'm not going to argue about boundaries. He knows what they are already.

So I see these messages on my boyfriend's phone.. let's not talk about how I saw them, please. So they started off being from his bday last year when a girl says happy bday.. so he was out for a stroll and sent her a bunch of photos (the same ones he sent to me that same day). A few months later there's a message from her asking when he is going to come visit her, now he sometimes works where she works so I don't know if that's work relates or what (he replies I'll be there wed and fri). Then a week later she messages asking are you coming to say goodbye, I don't know where she was going btw (he replies saying, I'm not sure you can handle anymore goodbyes). Then just recently there is a message asking him to do a job (work) for her, he teases saying why did you leave it so late to ask me, then says I suppose I can let you off this one time. Then most recent there's a message from him to her saying "the perfume on the cash was a nice touch 😋" ( he did a job for her), she replies saying it was because it had been in her bag and then told him not to flatter himself. I know they will be working together again for who knows how long for. She sounds very flirty but he is not repelling her and is also now flirting back with her. Thing is she's like 18 and he's 32. But the worst thing is we have had so many discussions and arguments about how I find flirting while in a relationship completely unacceptable, yet he goes and does this. Thoughts?