Bill Crypt

I get all your points and all of you are right. The only reason I chose to indulge in this relationship was the fact that we had this years of bond together, almost 15 years. I always wanted this and she said she did too, but the more I think about it, the more I understand how wrong I am here. The only right thing to do is break up and cut all contact, which is what I'm going to do.

I understand. I literally tried to break 'whatever this is' off a couple of days ago for good. I did not contact her for a day and she did not try to get back that day. (Our break-ups usually last for a few hours) But in the end, she ALWAYS comes back. No matter how bad the fight is, she always tries to get back with me in any way possible. We have talked about her boyfriend before and it is a sensitive topic for both of us, understandably. Whenever I try to confront her about it, she always plays it off with 'You knew what you were getting into.' But I think I should just block her off for my sake now after letting her know clearly what is bothering me and why I want to break up. This was long due and it's time to muster up the strength and resolve to finally follow through. Thanks a lot for replying. You've been a great help! 🙂

I truly understand what you're trying to say. And I guess, I've known this fact for as long as I've been with her. I feel like I know what I need to do and what is the right thing to do, it's just that I am finding myself not wanting to leave because this was something I've always wanted to happen I guess. But I need to take the big step and I am fully aware of that. I just wanted to explore if I can still stay in contact with this girl after ending things with her? Is there a way not to make myself emotionally attached to her and still be friends?

So this is going to be a very messy situation. I have a family friend who I've had a decent bond with since childhood. We both used to hang out a lot and developed feelings for each other and there was a lot of tension from the start, however we never confessed. Then we grew up and parted ways but still were in contact. Fast forward to now, she has a boyfriend of 4 years and is in a long-distance. I was single at the time and had to move back to my hometown. Our houses were adjacent to each other so there was a lot of hanging out. I kept falling for her and eventually decided to confess, and got rejected at first. I was devastated because I was at a very low point in my life also back then and I just limited my contact to move on. But one day, there was an opportunity, (which is a story in itself,) and we kissed. Eventually, we used to make out a lot and kind of got into this relationship that we haven't named yet. From there, it led to sex. However, I got way too attached emotionally now and even she says she is. The problem is that I have become too insecure in this relationship. Because she is obviously not ready to leave her boyfriend (who is probably better than me) and says she just can't but she doesn't want to leave me or lose me at all because of the bond we have. If we end things, it's just not possible for us to be in contact and I cannot afford that. But whenever I think of her with her boyfriend, it hurts. I know I shouldn't have gotten into this relationship at all because she is cheating and is not sure of me, but I just cannot leave anymore. It's hurting me a lot. I have become way too insecure which has led to a lot of fights. We have also broken up a couple of times but she always comes back. I don't know what to do anymore.