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thank u for your answer! no he isn't a bully he just makes me uncomfortable because we kinda "know" each other, we are from the same living area and usually would see him in the bus before knowing he is from the school i just moved to. but we never talked before so yeah. kinda awkward thats all. my parents aren't enrolling me in different schools, its literally me who made them come with me and change highschools all this time since i need parental aproval and the papers and everything, i have to make them with an adult in order to change schools. i can't talk to my parents about mental health and physicians cause i come from those type of households in which depression is a myth and im just dramatic and im just trying to get attention yk. i've tried it before and never again. about school counselor, im too nervous and idk embarrassed to even go there.. so not much to do i just wanted to get this off my chest

idek how to start.. basically im in 10th grade 2nd year of highschool and so far its been terrible. so terrible that here am i writing about it on a forum😭i have extreme social anxiety so no friends made in highschool. but this isn't it, the thing is that mentally im so weak and it's consuming me so much. im always alone, always feel left out nobody to talk to nobody to yk as kids do, sitting at lunch with someone, going outside in breaks with someone whatever. being alone and nervous and tensed up for 7 hours a day is both physically and mentally exhausting i just can't do it anymore. there is my desk mate that i was forced to sit with by my teacher and he is making me really uncomfortable and whatever i just wanna stop thinking about him but i hate it so much, you cant control your thoughts or feelings and this is so fcking annoying and makes me so sad. i already love someone else but since i started highschool this year(its a new highschool cause i changed like 3 times) i cant fully care and look forward to the persons i love cause my brain is consumed by this anxiety stress and nervousness coming from highschool. it hurts me a lot. hurts in a different way than other things. its exhausting😭 i wanna change again but my parents dont allow me and i kinda understand that they're tired of "running" with me changing highschools every year just for some "minor" inconveniences that consume me more than they should cause im just so weak.i just wanna run away or stop having school.. i feel out of powers to live and motivation and idk how much can i resist until i break down.. any any advice or thoughts at all?😭tysm