Hello guys, I would like to know your opinions about my relationship. Im married for 4 years after 6 years of dating (no kids). My husband was my first guy and we started dating, when I was 18, so I kind of feel we grew up together. I always loved him to death and he was my everything. Never even thought about being with someone else. A year ago things started to change. My husband got a new job and he really focused all his energy into it. First I supported him, but then I started to feel really lonely. He was just working and the little free time he had, he invested into his own hobbies and friends. He did not want to spend any time with me. I had to do all housework, manage things on my own (paying bills, shopping etc..). I started to feel there is no joy in my life, he stopped to kiss me after he was back from work, did not want to hug me and later on even stopped to have a sex with me. I was broken, depressed. Of course I tried to talk to him, open a discussion. But he always said he is just stressed from his work and that everything will be ok in a while... but it wasn´t. I asked him to go with me to marriage counselor, but he refused. So I went alone, tried all advices the therapist gave me, but nothing worked. From being lonely, I started to get close to one of my friends. When my husband refused to spend time with me, I went out with my friend... I started to feel great with him. He was really caring and I realized how nice it is to talk to someone and share the same hobbies! I started to realize that with my husband we actually never had anything in common, he has completely different hobbies and we have actually nothing to talk about. The activities we were doing in our relationship before, were mainly his hobbies. He never wanted to do what I like and he never asked me how I feel about it. I realized he might be a bit selfish.... So I decided to break up with him. He was shocked and cried, told me he loves me, but then he agreed. He moved away....Meanwhile, my good friend confessed he was long time in love with me and just did not want to destroy my marriage so he kept it in a secret. We started to date (its been 1 month now) and I really enjoyed the time spend with him. But, I feel I will never love him like my husband... My friend (now boyfriend) has really amazing personality, we share same hobbies, ideas about future etc... but I just dont have the "right" feelings with him. I still feel the love of my life was my husband and I cant get over the memories we built together. I still feel too attached to him. Maybe because he was my first guy and I feel like I grew up with him, my feelings to him are really deep.... My husband meanwhile, visited psychologist to resolve his workoholism, started to work on himself and keeps calling me, telling me he wants me back. He came with a lot of ideas (which were really logical) how to make our marriage work. But I´m not sure if I should give him another chance, because I cant believe he can completely change his personality and even start to like the same things like me and truly enjoy the time spend with me.
So here is the question: Do you think our marriage can work even though we dont have same hobbies and the only thing we share is our memories from past? I cant decide what is the best for me. We dont have kids, we are still young (I´m 28, he is 33) so I feel like its a pity to spend whole my life with someone with whom I will share no hobbies and will never have a great a conversation. Can our relationship work just based on that we love each other and "share our past"? Does any of you have a same experience like me?
Thank you so much for your experience!
