Nessa474

Am I selfish for being upset that my boyfriend chooses his family over me a lot? He lives with them and we are semi long distance so we only get to see each other one specific day a week. It's been hard on both of us and I look forward all week to seeing him. He says he wants to spend more time with me, is working towards living together soon, etc. But he chooses last minute after I get through the week and look forward to seeing him to stay home on our day pretty often because he has to do something for his family, because they ask him for something, one of his parents needs his support, because it's veteran's day, etc. I really need his support right now as I am going through a very hard time with mental health and family issues. He's great at listening on the phone and asking about my feelings and saying he cares but I always feel like I'm alone and I feel so selfish for feeling like I always come second to everything.

My boyfriend of over 3 years told me he's a bad person. He's said it in the past but I was telling him about some things that upset me recently in our relationship and he said he needed to be honest with me. He told me that he's a bad person and that I'm a better person than him. He told me that I'm a good woman with a great heart and that he's confused and doesn't even know why I like him or why I'm with him. He tells me he thinks about bad things all the time and that he's not a good person but when I ask he says he has no intentions of hurting me and doesn't think he will. Some of these bad things are sex addiction, porn addiction, murderous thoughts, fantasies of power/money, but he said he lives them out in video games instead of in real life. I know the obvious answer here but I love him and it's not easy to just walk away. Is this really bad or just something we can work through? He said he's willing to go to therapy but I'm definitely hurt and confused right now.