Candy the Nerd

It's not about how I feel about it. Not exactly. I'm just worried that he feels that he has to compensate for something. I want him to know that he doesn't have to. I'm also worried that my feeling of "I like that he goes the extra mile because he feels like he's not man enough" makes me a bad person. Feels like I'm taking advantage, in a way. Those are my main issues.

So bear with me for a bit here - apologies for the oddball post. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now. Quite frankly, he's amazing and we are in love. Our social life together is amazing, and quite frankly our sex life is also amazing! The problem comes in with my post's title You see, he has a tiny penis. I'm not sure if it's in the "micropenis" category, but if it isn't, it's pretty darn close. And - uncomfortable honesty here - I would prefer it if it was larger. What can I say, but I just like bigger ones? That being said, we have very good sex. He's VERY giving, and tries his best to pleasure and satisfy me. Like, he's probably gone down on me more in the last three months than I ever have had in my whole LIFE! On my end, I like to think that I give back to him as well. Certainly he seems satisfied, lol The thing is that if I am truly honest with myself, I think he tries so hard to please me because he feels inadequate about his tiny little guy. I KNOW he's embarrassed about it because he sticks this silly pad thing in his underwear to make it look bigger. It's called a "bulge enhancer" I think? Found some on Amazon. Also he's said a few things about it once or twice that make me sure he's got some feelings of inadequacy there. Additionally, I really love the attention because it's not something I've ever experienced before. Historically, I am not the type of girl that most people lust over (I'm really overweight, not traditionally cute, etc) so my sex life prior to this hasn't been that satisfied. I can think of more than one sexual encounter that was basically just someone using me to get off. So having a guy treat me like a princess is like...holy ***, I can't believe it. Who cares if he's small down there, right? But then, lately upon self-reflection, I'm feeling guilty. Like if the main reason why he's such an attentive lover is because he's embarrassed...am I not just using him in the same way that I was used before? Do I love his tiny penis because he feels so inadequate about it that he pays more attention to my needs? That's kind of a ***ty mentality, right? Like I shouldn't WANT my boyfriend to feel inadequate? Or is that what's going on? And I feel weird about talking to him about it because guys are so sensitive about that stuff. I wish I could - I mean I am literally twice his size, so it's not like I am physically perfect either! I just don't want to do this badly and *** this all up. Make him feel WORSE about his little thing - I would want to just curl up and die if I did that. I feel so gross about this.