SarahS25

Since my husband and I have a great communication and nothing is missing, I would like to believe it remains that way. Mom (then 20 years old) cheated when they were just bf and gf, not even engaged yet. So basically she did failed big time there. Then she kept true to her promise of being faithful since and took the marital vows seriously, never cheated in the marriage.

I have to admit they really did a good job raising us. There was nothing ever missing during my childhood. That's impressive indeed.

Good points. I took my marital vows very serious and I believe he did too. I look forward for the best. Hopefully it all works and I don't have to deal with infidelity. I wish I had never read the journal though. I regret doing that. That's my life lesson right there I guess. If I ever were to bump into another private journal, notebook I'm not going to bother with it.

Yet many others would probably think if you really love someone then you wouldn't cheat on them. It seems like the majority associate fidelity as a proof of love while those that reconcile like my parents are fewer. I suppose they can love in their own ubique ways I'll never understand.

Yes my husband and I just got married on March 20 and are in the process of trying to conceive. He's my first and I'm his 2nd. I had the intention of making it a virgin on the altar (that's how strong my values of commitment are) but instead lost it when he was still my fiance, 2-3 months prior to our wedding; so close.

While mom's cheating was before I was born, dad's (they were married by then) cheating took place in 2000 and I was 2 years old by then. But ok I guess it's none of my business. You're right. It's just that I would never hurt my husband like that and can't imagine working it out if he cheated.

Last year I read my father's private journal. I was cleaning and organizing the basement and stumbled up it. Till this day I regret reading. It took me weeks to finish reading it. This is my summary of what I read: - They started dating since they were 17 year-olds still in HS (they're now 51) - Mom she cheats in 1992 with his best friend in his own house. Dad catches them in the act (she's on top of him), in the couch and clothes scattered on the floor. He goes after the friend, beats/punches him and breaks up. - He gives in to mom's pleading, that she loves him, promises to never cheat again, she buys him a new couch with her money... after 3-4 months later he takes her back - both work things in couple therapy, counseling, therapy, etc. They still get married in 1996; 4 years after her cheating - I'm born in 1998 and dad still had doubts. He took the paternity test twice and twice it came back 99.99 positive - Dad cheats back with a co-worker (uses her for revenge) in 2000, had an affair for a several weeks but guilt gets him and he confesses all. They worked it out again. Mom was more lenient with forgiving him, even thought she deserved it and the R (reconciliation) process was faster since he confessed. - They made a deal not to bring up each others' cheating anymore and never mention it to anyone, not even us. The topic has been dead and buried since. Growing up, I always thought we were the ideal, perfect family; my parents, me and my twin sisters (both 19 year-olds). Ironically it was mom that was the stricter parent, lol. I know couple therapy and counseling helps but wouldn't dad still be having flashbacks/triggers (of them together) about it even now, 31 years later? How can mom be ok he lied about forgiving her but still did a revenge affair? Is the relationship ever really stronger than before? How can you love your partner but still have sex with their friend? Does anyone really get over getting cheated on? I'm not that shocked anymore but how can anyone love someone they cheated on??