I'm a 21-year old student and I'm currently doing a semester abroad in a foreign country. I got married last year and my husband (I will call him my boyfriend because I still feel a little weird calling him my husband) is still in my country. Before I went abroad I was always very introverted and quiet and me and my boyfriend always did very relaxing things like watching Netflix. Since I came here I've been doing so many things I never would've done like going out and clubbing. I never really had the opportunity to do this at home since all my friends are not really the going out type people. But my friends here are and I'm really enjoying these things and I feel like I've missed out on a lot back home. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we decided to get married last year because he's from China and due to COVID I have never met his family. The only way for me to get into China was to get married since I would then be officially family and China still had its borders closed for tourists. We've always talked about getting married and having a family so we thought let's just do it now since we want to anyway. Now that I'm here I keep feeling like I've missed out on a lot of things like going out with friends but also in my dating life. My boyfriend now is also my first real relationship and seeing my friends here being able to do things that I'm not (like approaching random guys while clubbing etc) makes me doubt my relationship. I feel like I settled down too fast and now my future is completely decided. I've always struggled with mental health issues and these feelings are making me very anxious and stressed the past time. I've been experiencing panic attacks and this constant feeling down.
