I'm in a situation where I feel like I'm being pulled in 2 different directions.
My boyfriend wants more from me (like living together) but I told him I wasn't ready yet and he understands but "hopes" I'll be ready in the coming year. We've been dating about 20 months.
I do love my boyfriend and he loves me but I don't know what the future holds (nor does anyone else).
My adult kids are pulling me in a different direction and that's to be unattached. Even though they both say they want me to be happy and I've explained I'm lonely after losing their dad/my husband more than 10 years ago, they seem to always criticize who I date and tell me why they're not a good person or not right for me. I do hear them since they are outside of the relationship but also know they are being possessive out of anxiety of losing me. I've assured them that they will always be my priority.
I'm getting real grief from one of my kids about my current relationship saying "he's boring" and "he doesn't have manners and doesn't say thank you when he should." Also, I hear he's selfish because he didn't visit me when I was feeling unwell (I have been having issues getting sick for the last 6 months on and off and the doctors can't figure it out. I am ok for a while and then I can get sick for several days or a week). While sometimes this may be true, I did say something to my boyfriend about this concern (of course, not using those words and not saying it came from my family) and it seems he is trying to improve his ways and give me more attention. Now my boyfriend does offer to help/visit me if I'm not feeling well but I'd rather not have him here so I don't get him sick (which I did during my last episode last month) and I'd just prefer to be alone.
I know at the end it's my decision but it takes a lot of energy from me to be in this situation. I'm totally worn out because of getting unwell from time to time and then when I do feel better, I feel guilty about seeing my boyfriend. My kids say he should always come to me and I shouldn't run to him on any regular basis especially since my health has been touch and go. We live about 40 miles apart.
What is the best way to approach this situation? I am going to a new doctor to see if they can find out why I'm going through this health issue but I've been to many doctors and so far, no one can figure it out. I'm starting to wonder if the emotional pressure is getting to me. All I want to do is sleep/stay in bed and then have sore throats and headaches.
