Tiffani

We recently discussed me changing from a high school girl, to college graduate, working woman, homeowner, management, fiance, wife, and mom. He's still in high school mindset. Sex has never been a major factor as in he can't go to work or do basic human functions without it! Which is why I initiated the separation talk. My son is getting older and I'm already doing everything alone so it would just be easier to actually do everything alone and he not watch me struggle. The house is in my name only. So is my car which is the only suitable car we have. He works in a diesel mechanic shop. Those are great questions to ask. Thanks so much for the feedback!

It's hard to say. I used to work A LOT! when not working I'd travel. We were pregnant within a year of being married although together for 11 years. I'd say from pregnancy forward started the downward spiral. What's most mysterious is he's always been great with all the kids in the family and he always wanted a son. His mom caused the most conflict in our marriage and I feel her feelings have been simmering in his thoughts since she's passed. (Which is a breakthrough thought I may bring up with him)

Thanks so much for the kind words. Sometimes it's good to hear it straight

Lol! It's so refreshing to have people outside my circle see the Insanity

Im very big on emotional connection which he knows. My love language is acts of service. Hes a tie between physical touch and words of affirmation. All this while he's made it seem how all the guys at work get sex on a regular basis. 1)guys lie 2)I'd asked what all they do to help the wives and family. He isn't into giving oral which I realized was his personal preference but I still allowed it to give me a complex up until recently. He does require it each time (another turn off) he doesn't understand foreplay, yes after all these years together. Honestly,not sure how we made a child other than alcohol being involved. All I'd like is basic romance or acknowledgement which I've explicitly expressed

He's had steady employment the last 6 years or so. I'd say yes to mental health but he was raised to not believe in therapy. He has what I like to call an "addictive personality" one month it may be playing the game, next may be hanging with a certain group of friends, next may be working out, next is late nights at the casino. Never know Considering sleeping apart as the next step before making a major change

To clarify he does have a job. Pays fairly well to be honest. They have been great with him calling in and such. He covers mortgage ($1000) i cover all utilities groceries maintenance items and such. This is the reason he justifies his behavior because he has a job. When he gets off its all gaming time. He did lose his mom a year and a half ago and they were VERY close. He was taised with both parents in the home. They were married approximately 30 years before she passed. His dad had a new lady friend within 3 months. He and his other 2 brothers are not on speaking terms. So there's definitely depression going on on multiple levels. I appreciate outside opinions other than family and friends. He's great at gaslighting

Back story: Dating 11 years- no breakups before getting married. Will be married 5 years in August. Have 3 year old. Issue: separation has been a topic of discussion as there is little to no sexy time. His stance is he can't be motivated to do anything unless he has sex (not motivated to go to work. Help clean. Small tasks around the house. Help with our child) My stance is I work sometimes 6 days a week, 10 hour days. Drop off and pickup our child. Feed the family. Bath time. Everything. He will clean his messes around the house and his laundry and towels but that's the extent of cleaning. I feel I do 10 tasks without any help (or complaints at this point) and his stance is he'll help after he gets sex. He initates sex by saying "do you want to do it" which is a total turn off. And when the little does actually go to bed at a decent time, he's playing the game...any advice whatsoever?