plantpotsticker

On 4/26/2023 at 4:19 PM, Metalhead1 said:

5 days since being blocked after an argument - I was unblocked on facebook yesterday....Though no reaching out or anything

Wonder if this is just a mind game or something 

Are you still blocked? 

Day 31 1 May 2023

He reached out to wish me good luck for something. I said thanks back ‘cause I felt it was rude to ignore. I didn’t break any rules for sure because he initiated it! 

Day 23, 23 April 2023

Hey y’all, it’s been three weeks. Still feeling a strong sense of longing today, but I’m glad it’s almost a month. He’s looked at my social media and liked one of my posts knowing that I know I would see it. I didn’t do anything. It doesn’t mean anything unless he speaks or tries to change things. I hope I can look back at this in the future with laughter and ease. 

Days 14&15 April 2023
Its been way easier for me to handle this. If y’all don’t see me here anymore I’m feeling way better 🙂

Day Three 13 April 2023

Soon it’ll be two weeks?? That’s a little crazy that I managed to get through those really really bad emotions initially.. I still feel it from time to time, gazing off into the distance, stoning about my situation. It’s normal. I just hope eventually he will come to terms with taking responsibility for what he has done - it wasn’t only me that was doing wrong.

Day Twelve 12 April 2023

Nearly half a month! Life throws it’s other obstacles at me. Be careful of who you choose to spend your time and words on.

Day Eleven 11 April 2023

I have feelings of not wanting to be with him anymore becoming stronger. I’m not too sure what to think about it but I just want to focus on myself right now.

Day Ten 10 April 2023

Weird that it’s going to be two weeks soon. He reached out today for something that couldn’t be avoided (though technically, it *could* be on one hand)

Day Nine 9 April 2023

The urge to contact him has grown. Memories still float back. Tears are still here. Holding on. This will pass

Day Eight 8 April 2023

I don’t feel as bad as a week ago but I still feel empty inside at times. I’ve been praying for myself to be free from this. If you can find it in your heart to help pray for me too that would be great - cause I can’t stand it at times. Keeping my head up though. Trying.

Day Seven 7 April 2023

Its a pretty difficult night. I feel disgusted from a lot of things that happened. 

Day Six 6 April 2023

There will be a day I’d forget about this site - so if i stop posting, that probably means my feelings arent as intense anymore. 

Day Five 5 April 2023

Counselling helped today. We did something interesting in it, and it’s helping me process the whole situation but I still feel a tad sad - haha, duh like that will go away anytime soon..

Day Four 4 April 2023

At work I had some pangs of sadness here and there. Time will only tell. 

Day Three 3 April 2023

Things seemed better but I’m sure it was because of work distractions. when I returned home I felt that strong, hopeless feeling pile up again. Though I’m hopeful things will get better, I have to remember not to completely disregard my sadness. Just let it flow.

Old, because when I first met you,

I knew that I had met you in my dreams.

We split up several times and got back together,

And I always could feel your ghost, your invisible hugs and what you want(ed) to tell me.

You asked me if I regretted meeting you nights ago, 

Before you left in the morning.

I said no immediately, and you told me that

You don’t regret meeting me either,

That I made you the person you were today.

I know you make rash decisions

And I know you need time

I’ve seen it all before,

And surprisingly as you so wanted me to change,

I could see that you didn’t really change in that aspect too

Deep down I was changing so much,

And you couldn’t see it because I did all the work behind the scenes.

Maybe as time passes,

You’ll see that I really did change 

And it’ll get you back to your senses

Then, there’ll be you again.

The text, the call. 

I know you’re thinking of me right now,

And I know you’re on the fence about it even when

You seemed so clear about it.

I knew you for such a long time,

I can see and sense indecision in you regardless of how confident you are

And how much you deny

You told me it was difficult for you to make this choice

I wish that

You will look within

Day Two 2 April 2023

I could always feel his presence and if he missed me or not. I called the hotline again today to let it all out, as well as talking it out with a friend. // I keep thinking of you, but it’s normal. I know you’re thinking of me too, with your invisible hugs. I found myself speaking my own name out loud, but I knew it was you calling out for me.

Day One 1st Apr 2023

He left in the morning. I felt really down but coped with talking to friends, a hotline and talking to myself about it. I had a lot of tears.