For context: Been together for 1,5 years and living together since 6 months.
We had one big problem early in our relationship where she met up with a guy behind my back.
But it's confirmed that nothing happenend besides talking in public and she confessed it to me without any need because she instantly regreted it which i believed her.
So we moved together and since then we never had any argument that lasted longer than maybe 2 hours because we promised eachother to never go asleep angry on eachother in the same bed.
We even talked about getting a dog, kids , marriage etc. in the future. Those topics where always brought up by her but I was also thinking about it.
About the breakup:
2 weeks ago she opened the front door already crying, which happens from time to time since she is very sensibel and has a lot of stress with her work and hobby , as usual I jumped up to hug her which usually calms her down. But this time she avoided me and started talking about how she doesn't feel like she loves me anymore at the moment, that she already talked with her mother and closest friend about it and after trying to avoid this conversation for 2 weeks she now has to end the relationship.
This caught me totally offguard and i was overwhelmed by the situation.
I asked why she didn't talked to me first so we could together find a solution for the problems we seem to have but I wasn't able to see. I begged her to not throw our relationship away at the first opportunity without even trying to fight for it. I asked what I did wrong and promised to improve on my part.
She just answered that I did nothing wrong and she doesn't have the power to fight for our relationship at the moment.
We agreed that she would move to her parents for the next few days to think about it and maybe reconsider her decision.
Since then she came home twice and we talked for about an hour both times.
First conversation:
I told her that I talked to my mother and my closest friends, who were all shocked since everybody felt like there was something special between us, and all of them asked me if there might be some other guy behind it. So I asked her "Did the feeling you had for me just dissappear or did they move to another person?". She remained silent for a minute and then said there might be somebody at her working place who helped her just by talking and texting to keep a clear head while she considered breaking up with me. But that was not part of the reason she broke up with me. The main reason was that the feelings are just not there for her atm.
Second conversation:
Probably the first talk where I had my emotions under control and where able to talk without tears in my eyes.
She talked about how she actually misses some things about me and us already but those feelings aren't strong enough yet to come back. She said she doesn't know why she feels like she needs to get out of a relationship which she always considered as beautiful and that I am acutally excatly what she has always been looking for.
But she also said that she gets happy when thinking about being able to live only for herself and enjoying life.
For context: She was in a relationship 8 years and one year later we met and came together. So she never really experienced to be single for a long time.
So basically the reasoning behind the breakup changed.
I told her that the chance to enjoy single life doesn't disappear in the next months. But what would might disappear is the chance to fix our relationship since I will need all of my power to move on instead of fighting for her in case she doesn't decide to come back.
So if she comes back now we might have the chance to solve our issues and grow maybe even closer together than before. But if we won't be able to fix our problems we can atleast say that we both tried and it just wasn't meant to be.
If she doesn't come back and realises in a few months that she made a mistake it might be to late.
So the advice I am looking for is:
How would you handle my current situation?
Am I blinded by love and fighting for something I already lost or maybe even never had since she started talking/texting to other guys twice behind my back?
Is it a good or bad sign that she needs such a long time to make her final decision?
On the one hand I feel like that shows that there is still something in her that loves me which just needs to be digged up again on the other hand I feel like the longer it takes my chances get slimmer.
TLDR:
Girlfriend broke up out of nowhere after realizing she doesn't have feelings for me atm.
Never had any big issues. Feels like she doesn't know the real reason why she broke up herself or just don't want to tell me.
